As of late, I’ve been in man-hating mode. Yes, I know they’re not ALL bad. When you get screwed over though, in the first few days following it, all men seem like the enemy. Is this fair? No, it’s not. But I’m not sorry about it. While working through my anger at the asshole, I was wishing I had an outlet: a way to help and connect with other women who have been screwed over.

Hey, wait! I do! 😉

Here we go, ladies! This one is for all of us who have been lied to, taken advantage of, cheated on, abused, and mistreated. You may feel broken, worthless, depressed, and just crappy all around, but you’ll get through it. Here are a few things I remind myself of when I’m dealing with heartbreak caused by a douchebag.

You Are Worth More Than This

Tell this to yourself over and over again. Hell, write it down somewhere you’ll see it every day! You are worthy of being loved, truly loved. Don’t let the fact that some jerk was stupid enough to mistreat you make you feel like you aren’t good enough. What he did isn’t your fault and you didn’t do anything wrong. He’s a dick. But seriously though, there’s a quote that I’ve seen floating around different social sites: “The way someone treats you doesn’t say anything about you, but it says a hell of a lot about them”. If he cheated on you, it’s not because you weren’t good enough; it’s because he has no morals or self-respect. It might sound cliché or condescending, but if he can’t love you the right way and respect you, then you are truly better off without him.

It’s Okay to Shed Some Tears

You can cry, be upset, be pissed off. Hell, I literally got done crying and started writing this. Sometimes, just letting it all out gives you clarity. No matter what though, holding it in is not a good idea. Sure, there are all these sayings about how you shouldn’t shed a tear over a guy, don’t give him that satisfaction, blah, blah, blah. I call bullshit. Cry as much as you need to. While you’re at it, throw something, punch something, scream, don’t hold back. Once you’re done, you’re going to start the process of moving on. Tears don’t mean you’re weak, you’re not giving him power over you, they mean you’re upset and you’re expressing it. That is nothing to be ashamed about. Personally, I’m not a public crier (unless I’ve been drinking a lot.) So, I got home and threw my tantrum in the privacy of my room. I don’t feel great, but I do feel better than I did before and that’s something.

You’re Going to Get Through This

Again, it may sound a bit condescending, but you are going to make it through this. You will be fine and your life will go on. It may not be easy, it may take a while, but you’ll move on. You can’t change what happened, and as awesome as it would be, it can’t be undone. The best thing you can do is get the tears out, then put your shoulders back, your head up high, and start moving forward. There are better things out there for you than some jerk who can’t realize how great you are. There is someone else out there who won’t hurt you so much. Love is work, and there will be hard times, but real love shouldn’t be this painful. Give it time, you’ll find someone that is worthy of you.

Open Letter:

To the Cheaters, Liars, and Wannabe Players,

This woman that you are messing with is a human being and she deserves respect and common decency for crying out loud! She is not a toy that can be thrown out when you’re bored. It does not matter if you have slept with her or not; it does not give you the right to treat her like trash! Quit going back and forth and playing games with her! She’s not a yo-yo!

You don’t want to be with her? Tell her! …Nicely. You want to ‘play the field’ and sleep around? Let her go first, then! You don’t want to be in a relationship, but the idea of her with any other guy bugs the hell out of you? Well, get your head out of your ass and keep her. Or, let her go, so she can have a chance with a man that deserves her.

If you aren’t serious, then let her know and let her go. Don’t be a selfish dick. You may think you’re a big bad player, and you’re so great because you can hook up with so many girls and ditch them. Here’s the thing, acting like a dick won’t make yours any bigger. And you may get a fist pump and props from your friends, but half the time they really think you’re pathetic (and probably diseased, if you’re really not smart about your whoring around). Oh, and the women that you think are so into you because they checked you out, that’s not the case. You may be a very attractive guy, but she can also see that big ‘douche’ label on your forehead.

You complain that women just mess with you anyways, and you can’t seem to hang on to a woman that you’d like to be in a relationship with… Well, first of all, there’s this thing called karma, it’s great stuff. Secondly, us women, we talk. Even if we may not personally know every woman you talk to, there is always a connection, remember that. A woman tells her friend, who tells a friend, who tells another friend, etc. You don’t respect women, but expect them to respect you?! That’s some bullshit right there!

Personally speaking, I am a grown ass woman, and I don’t play games. Unless it’s a drinking game, and I have yet to be offered any vodka to make this worthwhile. So grow up, be a real man, and be upfront with your intentions. Better yet, keep your stupid games, and your dick, to yourself. It’d really be a public service, to not just to women, but to everyone. Thanks.