Some say college is a four year party, but we here at Slutty Girl Problems know that it’s so much more. College is the one time in your life when you can embrace freedom and irresponsibility. You can hook up with strangers, get blackout every weekend, do nearly anything you want with virtually no consequences, and still walk away with a piece of paper that says you’re smarter than everyone else, in Latin.

College is also the time to set goals – not goals like where you want to be in five years, but more like who you want to sleep with by then. It’s a time to write down everything you’d like to do, and check them off right after you do them, because you’re one black out away from forgetting it all.

Whether you’re a freshman just starting your college journey, or an experienced senior ready to tie up loose ends, this Ultimate College Bucket List will ensure you make the most of your college “career”. If you have a high score, we’d probably be best friends… and you should definitely write for Slutty Girl Problems.

To keep score:

  • Count each completed item as 1 point.
  • Bonus items are 3 points.
  • Pro moves are 5.
  • If you’re not sure if it counts, it probably doesn’t.
  • Print out for your records and re-score every year.

 

Hooking Up

 

Ultimate College Bucket Hookups

 

Who

[  ] With one person from each year, in one year.
[  ] Bonus: 5th+ Year (Think Van Wilder, but probably not as hot.)
[  ] With a graduate.
[  ] Bonus: He has a job.
[  ] PRO MOVE: It’s a high-paying job.
[  ] With one person from each fraternity.
[  ] Bonus: More than 5 in one fraternity.
[  ] PRO MOVE: More than 5 in each fraternity.
[  ] With one person from each Sports Team.
[  ] Bonus: More than 5 on one team.
[  ] PRO MOVE: All the club and intramural sports.
[  ] Someone from the theatre department.
[  ] Bonus: He’s gay.
[  ] With a musician.
[  ] With a DJ.
[  ] Bonus: He’s a good DJ.
[  ] PRO MOVE: He’ll DJ your parties from now on.
[  ] Someone of the same sex. (Time to experiment!)
[  ] With a Townie, aka someone who lives in the area, but never went to your school.
[  ] Bonus: He’s your bartender.
[  ] PRO MOVE: Hook up with an RA, TA, or teacher. (Earn that A.)

 

Couple in Bed

 

When and Where

[  ] On a futon while “watching a movie”.
[  ] While one of your roommates is sleeping.
[  ] At a bar or club.
[  ] In the quad or lawn areas.
[  ] In a common area.
[  ] Bonus: Locker Rooms.
[  ] PRO MOVE: Laundry Room.
[  ] In an academic building or empty classroom.
[  ] Bonus: On the roof of any building.
[  ] In the middle of the football field.
[  ] In the library.
[  ] Bonus: Between the stacks.
[  ] PRO MOVE: If you get “Shh” ‘d
[  ] At formal.
[  ] On the bus on the way to or from an event.
[  ] In a full size bed. Finally.
[  ] PRO MOVE: With five or more people in a weekend.

 

Sexy Couple Kissing Bucket List

 

It’s an Art Form

[  ] Have a one night stand. (Hit it and Quit it. Smash and Dash.)
[  ] Have your first Stride of Pride. (Haters call it the Walk of Shame.)
[  ] Bonus: Wearing his t-shirt, no pants, and heels.
[  ] Wake up in a room you don’t recognize.
[  ] Bonus: With a stranger.
[  ] Sneak out of his bed, room, or house in the morning.
[  ] Bonus: His room or house mates are awake.
[  ] PRO MOVE: It’s a crowded fraternity house.
[  ] Sacrifice a piece of clothing to avoid seeing a one night stand again.
[  ] Be walked in on.
[  ] Walk in on someone else.
[  ] Pregnancy scare!
[  ] Hit on someone who’s “out of your league”.
[  ] Bonus: It works!
[  ] PRO MOVE: Realize confidence is key. No one is really “out of your league”.
[  ] Turn an asshole down, and put him in his place.
[  ] Become eskimo sisters with a friend.
[  ] Bonus: Compare notes.
[  ] Bonus: Have a threesome.
[  ] PRO MOVE: The other two people are your preferred gender.

 

Solo Cups

 

Drinking

[  ] Drink underage.
[  ] Bonus: With your RA.
[  ] Chug a beer.
[  ] Bonus: Shotgun a beer.
[  ] PRO MOVE: Use a beer bong.
[  ] Take a shot.
[  ] Bonus: Jello shots.
[  ] PRO MOVE: Use an ice luge.
[  ] Do a kegstand.
[  ] Bonus: For more than 15 seconds.
[  ] Win a game of beer pong.
[  ] Win a game of flip cup.
[  ] Realize everyone’s a winner when you’re drunk.
[  ] Complete a power hour.
[  ] Go to a themed party.
[  ] Bonus: You have the perfect outfit.
[  ] Celebrate Cinco de Mayo.
[  ] Participate in a bar crawl.
[  ] Day drink. Day drink. Day drink.
[  ] Tailgate a sports game, concert, parade, exam. Whatever.
[  ] Pregame like it’s the party.
[  ] Bonus: Pregame so hard, you don’t make it to the party.
[  ] Have a drunken cry. Or ten.
[  ] Throw up all night from drinking.
[  ] Bonus: Make it to class.
[  ] Survive your first hangover. (aka: Sleep all day in misery.)
[  ] Drunkenly confess your love to a crush.
[  ] Bonus: He’s a stranger.
[  ] Celebrate your 21st birthday, but go crazy on your 22nd.
[  ] Act like you know how to hold your liquor.
[  ] Bonus: Actually know how to hold your liquor.
[  ] PRO MOVE: Perfect the art of looking relatively sober while blacked out.
[  ] Get free drinks all night.
[  ] Bonus: They’re from the bartender.
[  ] Hit on the bartender.
[  ] Bonus: It works! Get his number.
[  ] PRO MOVE: He learns your name and favorite drink.
[  ] Act like you know how to bartend.
[  ] Spill your drink on someone.
[  ] Bonus: Throw your drink at someone.
[  ] Drunk text one of your parents.
[  ] Bonus: Scare the shit out of them.
[  ] PRO MOVE: It was a TMI text clearly meant for someone else.
[  ] Wake up with a drunken injury.
[  ] Bonus: It’s unidentified.
[  ] PRO MOVE: It’s from sex.
[  ] PRO MOVE: Get kicked out of a bar.

 

Blunt

 

Smoking

[  ] Smoke weed.
[  ] Bonus: It’s a cross blunt.
[  ] Bonus: It’s out of a four foot or higher bong.
[  ] PRO MOVE: With your RA, TA, or teacher.
[  ] Celebrate 4/20.
[  ] Wake and Bake.
[  ] Eat Brownies.
[  ] Smoke in your room.
[  ] Bonus: Hot box it.
[  ] PRO MOVE: Set off the fire detector.
[  ] Smoke hash.
[  ] Bonus: It’s hash oil.
[  ] PRO MOVE: Hook up with your drug dealer. (It has its benefits!)

 

College Bucket List Debauchery

 

Debauchery

[  ] Pull an all-nighter.
[  ] Sleep all day.
[  ] Skip an entire day of classes.
[  ] Skip a class more than you attend it.
[  ] Wear sweat pants or pajamas to class. (Because fuck it.)
[  ] Procrastinate until the last possible moment, and still get a good grade.
[  ] Walk out of an exam earlier than you expected, because you rocked it!
[  ] Walk out of an exam earlier than you expected, because you bombed it.
[  ] Join a bunch of clubs and never go to meetings, except when there’s free food.
[  ] Interrupt a campus tour. (Inappropriately.)
[  ] Throw an epic party.
[  ] Bonus: It gets shut down by the RA.
[  ] PRO MOVE: It gets shut down by the cops.
[  ] Throw a “Cheapest Way to Get Wasted” party (Franzia and Malt Liquor.)
[  ] Wear lingerie to a party.
[  ] Go streaking
[  ] Corrupt a freshman.
[  ] Chill on the roof of a building.
[  ] Black out during syllabus week.
[  ] Black out during finals week.
[  ] Bonus: Black out the night before your final.
[  ] Lose your phone, ID, and keys all in the same night.
[  ] Fall asleep outside.
[  ] Have a cliche’ Spring Break.
[  ] Pop a squat in public / outside because you just can’t make it home.
[  ] Get in trouble with campus police.
[  ] Bonus: They escort you home.
[  ] PRO MOVE: Perfect the art of not giving a fuck.

 

Pandamonium

 

Novel Ideas

[  ] Make glowing neon liquor bottles with highlighters
[  ] Chalk your hair a crazy color.
[  ] Bonus: You actually dyed it.
[  ] Bonus: You meant to dye just the tips, but fucked up and dyed your whole head.
[  ] PRO MOVE: You rocked it.
[  ] Go to a rave.
[  ] Dance on a stripper pole.
[  ] Take advantage of $1 slices, cheap wings, and beer.
[  ] Have the perfect playlist for every occasion.
[  ] Bonus: Multiple playlists for sex.
[  ] Tan on the lawn of your quad or academic row.
[  ] Befriend a member of campus security.
[  ] PRO MOVE: Use your connect to get out of trouble!
[  ] Graffiti or carve your name somewhere on campus that’s special to you.
[  ] Visit one of your friends, at a completely different school.
[  ] Snuggle in bed with your best friend all day.
[  ] Eat your weight in fro yo.
[  ] Spend an entire day watching movies.
[  ] Throw a fancy party.
[  ] Have a classy wine night with your girlfriends. (Franzia counts.)
[  ] Graduate.
[  ] PRO MOVE: Take chances, live it to the fullest, and look back with no regrets.

 

BFFs Laughing

 

My score is 290.  What’s yours?
(Total possible: 350)