From our experience, anal sex is a lot like Marmite in that you either love it or hate it; it’s rare that someone is indifferent on the topic. But just like Marmite, we think that everybody owes it to themselves to find out to which camp they belong to. In order to do that, of course, you need to try it! But before you do, we wanted to prepare this guide to ensure that you have the best possible way for your first foray into an anal adventure!
So What Is It & Is It “Nice”?
Anal sex, as you probably already know, is intercourse where a man or woman receives usually a penis but perhaps a strap-on didlo into the anus. Incidentally, when a woman penetrates her man using a strapon, that is known as pegging. The reason men find anal penetration stimulating is that the prostate gland gets stimulated and this is proven to be arousing in men. While women don’t have a prostate, the nerve endings in the anus are usually pleasurable to touch and in addition the wall between the anus and the vagina is very thin so when stimulating one, you often hit the other even if you don’t mean to! If you digitally penetrate a woman (or yourself) simultaneously in the vagina and the anus and move your fingers together, you will feel just how thin the wall is! Amazingly, in some studies, over 90% of women have claimed to reach climax through anal stimulation. However, for both men and women, anal stimulation tends to arouse the most and lead to the most intense orgasms when it is an accompaniment to another type of stimulation. So for example, if a gay man penetrates his partner in the missionary position while simultaneously masturbating his penis, his orgasm is likely to be spectacular. The same position works brilliantly for women also but instead of masturbating the penis, clitoral stimulation accompanies the anal penetration and again, the climax tends to be intense. So, in short, for both men and women, anal sex can be thoroughly enjoyable!
Preparing for Solo Anal Sex
If you are new to anal sex, we don’t really recommend that you try with a partner first time out. It is all very new and very often, the first encounter will be a little overwhelming, awkward, and potentially not very enjoyable. It is best to begin your anal journey alone in the comfort of your own room where you can get to know your body in a pressure free environment. Start gently with your fingers and slowly consider progressing to a thin sex toy such as a butt plug or a dildo. After a while you should get to know this part of your body very well and so be in a position to try it out with a partner. Whether alone or with a partner, we can’t stress enough the crucial role of lube when having anal sex. The anus, unlike the vagina, is not self-lubricating and so penetration without lube is not likely to be at all pleasant so be sure to get nice and lubricated before doing anything!
Add a Partner!
Once you are ready to try out anal with your partner, the first thing to do is to broach the subject with him/her. If you want your partner to receive anal sex and they don’t want to, then pushing too hard is not likely to be well received; it is best to respect his/her wishes as coerced anal is likely to end in tears. However, assuming your partner is up for it, there are some hygiene factors to be considered. The cleaner the anal area, the more pleasant the whole experience will be, particularly if you are feeling adventurous and want to try some rimming (orally stimulating the entrance to the anus with your tongue). It is best to avoid heavy food if you know you will be having anal sex later in the day and just before you start, it is a good idea to have a shower to clean the whole area. Consider using an anal douche which is a special device used to rinse out your anal region to leave it spick and span and ready for some fun!
How to Do It
Now that you’re clean, excited, and ready to go, all you need is your partner and plenty of lube! Don’t dive straight in however. The more foreplay, the better! Enjoy the sex session, enjoy some shallow digital penetration before the main event. Also consider a glass or two of wine (we are not suggesting you get drunk!) but a sensible amount of alcohol should loosen you up which does help you receive the penis or dildo into the anus and enjoy the whole experience!
Once you have been penetrated or done the penetrating (or both if you are a lesbian couple trying simultaneous anal sex using a double ended dildo), start out slow! There’s no rush! Gently thrust back and forth, enjoying every stroke. As the anus loosens up and the sense of arousal grows, move to a faster pace before, if your partner wants it, building up to a full blown pummeling! Communication is vital to ensure your idea of rough sex isn’t too much for your partner!
As with all sex, we of course recommend to use sensible protection such as a condom and be extra vigilant as the extra friction involved can cause it to rip so again the more lube the better! If having unprotected sex (with a long term partner whose sexual history you know!) and he ejaculates inside of you, that’s fine! As with internal ejaculation in the vagina, you will expel the semen in the shower, so it is always best to have a shower once you’re all done!
And there you have it! You’re an anal virgin no more – that wasn’t so bad was it?