I think everyone deserves someone they can get totally unleashed with. Someone with whom they can truly connect in the physical and emotional sense and let it all hang out. We need to be in partnership with others who let it all hang out, because it encourages us to do the same and to unwind from our busy, hectic lives. No one wants to be stressed out all the time, especially when it comes to sex, so listen up…
In order to get to the place where we connect properly and become “unleashed” or uninhibited, we need to be moving from a place of adult understanding of our bodies and minds.
I wasn’t always so forward thinking. I remember a particular hook-up from my college days where I played U2 songs on my stereo and gazed into someone else’s eyes who didn’t deserve me. I hadn’t yet come into my sexuality yet… Boy, did that kid miss out on what happened later… Anyway, I digress.
We need to be at a place where we’re not constantly thinking about the diameter of our thighs, where we’re not re-living old trauma in the act of doing the deed, where we’re present and accounted for, in all capacities. When we get to that place, the positions come. They wash over you in abundance. You simply can’t believe the volume of creativity that your pussy begins spewing. It happens, trust me.
But if you’re sitting there thinking, “Maya, come on, share a bit of your knowledge with me. I’m just starting out and I’m still gazing into someone’s eyes who doesn’t deserve me” – I say, okay. But I will offer one small disclaimer.
Disclaimer: Great sex comes from great connections, and I am a proponent of great sex. I can teach you all the positions in the world, but if you don’t have a great connection, the sex will suck, so be forewarned.
That said, here’s 6 fabulous positions to increase intimacy.
1. Girl on Top
Just like it sounds. You are on top, riding his cock, and he can take it all in from his vantage point. This position leaves you in a vulnerable place, so make sure you want to be making love and haven’t picked a complete scum bag to do it with. I’m all for scum bag sex, I just prefer doggie style in those scenarios. Girl on top lets you play with your nipples, run your fingers through your hair, grab your ass, fondle his balls, kiss his chest; all manner of things intimate and special in the moment.
Be prepared for wacky amounts of intimacy with this position. The man sits cross-legged with the woman in his lap, facing him, her arms and legs wrapped around him. Ride him slowly and deliberately, with you body wrapped around him. Bite his lip, massage his forehead; get in his space with this delicious position.
3. Straight Leg Missionary
Get in the typical missionary posture with your legs extended. Allow him to enter you and cross your ankles after he does. This will squeeze his cock even tighter. If he has a smaller member, this can be incredibly intense for him, and doubly pleasurable for you.
4. Happy Baby
I love this posture in yoga and I love it in sex because it opens the hips which are places where we store a great deal of emotional strain. Lay on your back and grab your feet, along the outsides of them. Pull your feet in alignment with your knees and pull them toward your armpits. Try to elongate your tailbone so that it is touching the floor. Then have him “come to mama”, as it were, by nailing you as you hold the posture. This position is laughingly called “Happy Husband” by many yoginis because it allows him to penetrate you deeply and you can have control over the angle at which he does.
5. Child’s Pose
This is a relaxed doggie style position where you kneel down on the floor and touch your forehead to the floor, completely relaxing your body, with your arms alongside your thighs. He can enter you from behind and get good traction by moving your hips with his as he thrusts. You get to relax and stretch your arms in front of your body if you want a really delicious stretch. You can also use your arms to grab hold of something and give a little push back into his thrust. Men love the push-back effect. (I always think of shepherds fucking sheep because they push back. I digress again…)
Or as it is lovingly called by others, “spooning“. Lay side by side with him on the outside and you on the inside. Have him wrap his legs and arms around you while he enters you. You can grab his butt and help him thrust or guide the angle at which he’s thrusting. You can also bite his earlobe to get him to get friskier if the position is too tender for you to handle.
So there you have it, my top 6 positions for increasing intimacy in your sexual relationship. Please remember to have sex with folks you want to have sex with. It makes it all the more enjoyable. Sex isn’t a chore. It’s a delightful way to spend an evening, an afternoon, or in my case, a lifetime.