If you think you have a solution to this problem, I am open to all solutions. And if anyone knows of a good book/youtube video that could help her, that would fantastic. But I’m also asking is, is this relationship doomed if this problem is not solved? I really love this girl, and am thinking about proposing soon, but I don’t know if I can remain physically attracted to her and enjoy our sex if this continues. She is basically the exact opposite of all my Ex’s.
So I [26M] have this wonderful SO [26F], who I could easily see myself marrying in the next couple of years, but she’s like a robot in bed (she takes direction but doesn’t initiate anything).
Right now I have the perfect girl to raise kids with, bring home to the family (all of whom think she is fantastic), to spend time with, talk with. But there is so much lacking in the bedroom (it’s hard to see our sexual relationship lasting the length of a marriage while also being pleasurable). Basically I have the “Lady in the Streets” but no “Freak in the Sheets,” and I want is for her to “rock my world” from time to time.
Back story: I’m a very experienced guy and have had many more partners than my gf. She is very self-conscious and won’t even initiate sex, let alone take charge or even talk dirty. Honestly, it makes it hard to climax, which is starting to become a more frequent problem. I’ve addressed this issue with her in a few different ways (telling her that my body is hers and she can have it whenever/where-ever she pleases, giving her direction, telling her that I am completely devoted to her and that she really can’t go wrong if she tries anything new in the bedroom). She simply can’t or won’t do the things I’d like her to do.
And BEFORE you jump down my throat with the “don’t ask her to do anything she is uncomforable with” line, I’m not asking much, or at least I don’t think asking her to initiate sex and take charge during sex are things that one should feel uncomfortable doing.
All I want, is for her to jump on top of me from time to time and not wait for me to take her clothes off or put her hand down my pants. I want her to take charge from time to time and tell me what to do and where to cum and when to cum. These things either never happen (the former) or I have to ask for them (the latter, and the times she just does do it in a way that makes it lose any of it’s “sexiness”).
The following is not bragging, though I am proud, but I am including it for completeness. I can go all night, I try really hard and make sure she has more orgasms than me and I make sure that she has them before I have mine (it is important to me that she be satisfied and I’d feel like I was using her if I did not). I love giving her oral pleasure and she is pretty good at it too. But never once has she initiated sex in our entire relationship and never once has she done anything sexual without me prompting her to do so. If I don’t initiate sex, sex does not happen (I have experimented with this).
So what do you think?