Ask the Girlfriend is a weekly advice column that answers your questions your questions about your boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, imaginary boyfriend, cats, and all the pros and cons that come with them.

This week, we answer a question about ex-boyfriends… like, can we still have a future together? Is it worth trying to make things work? How do I move on? …and our best advice for feeling better and focusing on the future.


Dear Girlfriend,

Six months ago, I got out of a year and a half long relationship. However, after all this time I find myself still missing my ex. We both are seniors in the same high school, and no matter how hard I try, I can’t avoid him. He has made it clear that he doesn’t want to get back together and doesn’t even really want to be friendsI know I should be moving on, and I’m trying just to focus on being the best version of myself, but I want us to hopefully have a future together. He was my first and only boyfriend and I want us to try again because we were both really happy together until his home wrecking ex-girlfriend came around.

Should I try to rekindle the magic? Or just let it go and forget all about him?? I would really appreciate your advice.

Not So Recently Alone

Dear Not So Recently Alone,

The statement “home wrecking ex-girlfriend” leads me to believe that your ex-boyfriend is not the type of man you want to have around. Any man who allows “home wrecking” is not the man you want in your life.

It’s totally normal to miss your ex, especially because you go to the same school and can’t avoid each other. But, if he’s made it clear that he doesn’t want to get back together or even be friends, you’re going to end up even more hurt in the end if you keep trying. He’s back with his ex and moving on, and you should do the same. It will take a lot of time, and probably some more tears, but eventually you’ll find that there are TONS of new guys out there ready and willing to make you happy and treat you better than he ever did. He may be your first boyfriend, but you’ll probably have a lot more of them before you find “the one.”

You’re young, the possibilities are endless! Take the time right now to focus on yourself and make yourself happy. Soon enough, you’ll find yourself flirting with new guys and having a good time. To keep from focusing on him and the breakup, keep yourself busy. Join a club, try out for a sport, really anything that will introduce you to new people is great because it keeps your mind off him AND introduces you to new (hopefully hot) guys! This guy may be your first love and your first heartbreak, but you’ll find that you learned a lot of valuable life lessons that will come in handy if another douche bag guy decides to try to break your heart.

My all time favorite break up quote “He’s going to be sorry he lost you, so stop worrying. Forget the past, forget the pain, and remember what an incredible woman you are.” That quote has gotten me through some of the worst breakups and I hope it helps you a little as well!

The Girlfriend



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