I would like to start this letter with multiple apologies. I apologize for not recognizing your power, your potential, and your strength. I apologize for the abuse and the lack of care that has been given to you over half of my life. I apologize for not seeing your beauty for so long. I apologize for giving other vaginas more TLC than I gave you, ever. I have seen the error in my ways and I am ready to move forward.
As you know, I am in my late thirties and at this point, I realize how wonderful my vagina is. Even in knowing how much I loved vagina before, it was easy to abuse and neglect you. Besides the bathing of you, I have lacked in many other ways to care for you. I have neglected you from self-love and self-pleasure. I have let you be abused and mistreated without speaking up. I’ve had you my whole life and for the last handful of years I have realized the pleasure you hold, and when I was able to speak up, found that you have so much potential.
In my younger years, you were a burden. I was too busy playing to realize you were even there until I had to take time from my busy schedule to bathe. As I grew older, things started to change. Some visuals seemed more pleasurable and some sensations started to become apparent. As I turned into a teenager, I was more explorative and started to recognize that some things felt nice and the center of that feeling was you.
Still, I didn’t appreciate you as I should have. I knew you were there, I knew some things I liked, but I didn’t know the extent of what you could do or what I was capable of with you. I’ve never really had a voice to speak up and that didn’t change until recently and it is a journey, but as I became sexually active I wasn’t completely thrilled by the experiences. I knew there was a power within you, but my place wasn’t found, at first.
Our sexual experiences with women became something I knew I wanted more than other sexual conquests. I started to appreciate the beauty of the vagina and my love for vaginas: artistically, sexually and as a form of empowerment. Even then I still left you in the shadows of others. I almost felt as if I didn’t deserve the pleasure you could unleash. I felt ashamed to provide myself with those pleasures.
As we grew my voice became silenced with abuse, the burden of that abuse onto you. I felt as if I just gave up on my growth for a while until that relationship ended, setting me free from the chains that bound me. After those horrific experiences, I was able to build a relationship with you.
Finding my love gave me the courage to explore more sexual adventures that unleashed a whole new universe of love – from you. We embarked on birthing children. The flexibility, the strength, and the endurance you possessed was eye-opening. After that, there was an unexplained hiatus. Although it seemed there were many reasons why, it was still a letdown for my love and for you. My mentality wasn’t in the game of self-care or self-love.
Today, I have been more empowered by the strength of women and being able to group myself within that description. I can say I have finally found you. With a partner who is loving and open to listen to my ideas in an exploratory manner, sexually and in general, I have been able to re-learn who you are and what you are to me.
Vagina, I never meant to hurt you. Only now I know that you are the center of my being, my core, my power. I know your strength and what you are capable of, I know the pleasure you give and the pleasure you receive. I no longer sit on your potential, but I embrace it. I know how beautiful you are and how much happiness you hold. I am so proud to be a part of you and you to be a part of me. I am more powerful with you. Thank you for taking this journey with me.