How to be a charmer, yet still embody feminist dating views.
First off, “Femme Fatale” represents much more than Britney’s seventh album, (but still praise the Queen). Femme Fatale essentially refers to a stock character, a fictional character that is easily recognized by its audience, of a woman whose mystery and seductiveness charms her lovers, and ensnares them.
This femme fatale persona has been adapted in many ways. Again, Britney did it so you know it’s cool, and each adaptation represents the woman as being charming, seductive, and sultry. This archetype of a woman is something many women aspire to embody, but some may not want to perpetuate the stereotypes that say a woman should be “sexy”, “sultry”, “seductive” or “dominatrix-esque”, for her man. So we see the struggle; this double-edged sword for independent, intelligent, and feminist women want to be a femme fatale, but in essence wish to be more feminist–fatale.
So how can you maintain this sexy, sometimes dangerous persona, but not forgo your wants and needs as a woman? Simple: Let your feminism play into your femme fatale! Also, to clear things up a bit, I am not referring to (at least not in this article) the type of feminism that is advocating for equal pay, equal representation, or Pro-life case studies. I am not saying to bring your picket fences with suffragist rhetoric smeared in Sharpie on them into the bedroom, or to show up as an unshaved, unwaxed, and make-up free femme fatale. I am simply referring to the aspect of feminism wherein a woman will speak up about her wants and needs with her partner, specifically in the bedroom. I want to play into the fact that women can embody these seductive charms, but not have to go into the role-play with the main purpose being to please their man, and solely making his experience wild.
Let your feminism guide your femme fatale. If you’re acting as a femme fatale at a bar, where you can see him eye you up and down, instead of allowing him to come over to you and giving him the ego boost of coquettishly agreeing to go back to his place (because that is what you’re supposed to do when you embody a classic and sultry female character, right?), waltz up to him, demand that he either stop staring at you, and make a move – or find a new target to undress with his eyes. The directness of this demand is very sexy in nature (men love it when a woman can command a room), but also allows the woman to speak her mind in a way that’s heartbreakingly “new age”.
Or, if you wish to act as a femme fatale in your bedroom next time you are alone with your guy, let him know right off the bat that you are one seductress that more enjoys being seduced than actual seducing. Seems sort of anti-dominatrix woman policy but trust me, men like to be told what to do. With an act that is sexy, yet scary, he won’t want to say no!
Women can uphold the charming and sultry nature of the ideal femme fatale, but also make her much more modern in using her voice to get what we want! Just because you are sexed up doesn’t mean you have to be silent. Really speaking up, acting out, or spelling it out like many feminist felines do is hotter than the silent seduction of centuries past.
