My favorite teen memories are those of sleeping over at friends houses. Hey, I still do it as much as I can! What continues to baffle me though, is the fascination that boys have over what goes down when girls go to a slumber party. Guys, I’ll let you in on a secret – it’s nothing like you’d ever expect…
MYTH – Scantily clad pillow fights. You’ve seen the films, right? Gorgeous girls in their late teens accidentally knocking their equally toned gal pal onto her sleeping bag while getting changed, causing an eruption of feathers from all angles as the giggling gaggle of girls bounce up and down on their blow up mattresses in bra tops and PJ shorts? Ring any bells?
REALITY – Think less teeny tiny tank tops and more sweatpants and no bra. And my only reaction to being clobbered with a pillow would have a simultaneous hand gesture. Everyone knows that jumping on an air mattress is cause for total deflation chaos. Not to mention, getting hit with a pillow really fucking hurts.
MYTH – After fannying around with pillows in next to nothing, girls love to snuggle up and confide in each other about their latest crush. Who wouldn’t want to spend their Friday nights hearing all about the new way Brandon is wearing his hair. And don’t get me started on Lucy and Carl’s Snapchat “friendship”! Scandalous.
REALITY – It is the 21st century and while I’m not at all opposed to discussing love interests, I would hope that most women’s conversation topics vary between why they’re still being cat-called, why shift work is the bane of anyone’s life, how many times a day they masturbate, and why, in 2016, carbs still make you fat (in between phone calls to the pizza delivery guy). Although there is something very enjoyable about a gentle swipe through someone else’s Tinder…
MYTH – Stealing your parent’s alcohol and getting drunk is the only way to spice this night up, am I right? Cutting loose with a myriad of WKDs is the definition of a real good time.
REALITY – After your rite of passage from that party you attended when you were sixteen, you KNOWyour parents only stock Crème De Menthe in their liquor cabinet, and you KNOW that’s never a good shout. You can rely on one of the other girls to turn up bearing cheap wine, though.
Fun & Games
MYTH – Strip poker and other games you’d normally associate with your old Uncle Allan. But played in the nude. Can’t you imagine it now? The fuzzy feeling from the dusty bottle of Chardonnay you stole from the basement and the anxious excitement of taking your clothes off in front of your friends for the first time?! Obviously, this is all building up to the highlight of the evening, playing Never Have I Ever. A.K.A. confessing your deepest darkest secret and finding out what wild antics your friends have been up to.
REALITY – My friends probably saw me naked the first time we met, and I bet most of them could draw my boobs from memory. Nudity is acceptable and normal. After giving each other home-made bikini waxes, the anxiety behind stripping in front of your friend soon wears off. Never Have I Ever is only really good for getting you drunk. Almost everyone has done something and you can’t even feign surprise when Stacie tells you of her summer camp threesome. Again.
MYTH – Playing tipsy Spin The Bottle and making out with all of your friends, leading to same sex experimentation, obviously – because you’re still a little drunk and all the gossiping and feathery wrestling has really put you in the mood to feel up your mate.
REALITY – Your friends don’t have time to play spin the bottle, because it’s 10:30 pm and you’re all already in bed, phone in hand, keeping the conversation alive via a WhatsApp group and/or tagging each other in hilarious Instagram memes in between stalking your boyfriend’s ex from middle school. And experimenting with lesbian loving for the first time? Come on, your imagination can do better than that! I’ve kissed my female friends more than I’ve kissed men in general. It’s more a multiple tequilas and table top dancing kind of activity, as opposed to a first time fumble in the family bathroom.
So regardless of what you might have heard, girly sleepovers are pretty damn normal.