When I went to university there weren’t any courses for sexology and tantra was something you saw in exotic foreign films. After I discovered Juliet Allen worked as a Sexologist, Sexuality Coach and Tantra Practitioner, I wanted to know more. She kindly agreed to answer some of my questions.
Juliet, what does a sexologist and sexuality coach do?
Well I do a few things! As a sex and relationship coach I help people enjoy amazing sex lives … people often come to me with challenges they are facing and I help them feel more empowered to face the challenges and create amazing sex and relationships for themselves. I also run workshops for women and men about sexuality and tantra. And then I write about sex for different print and web publications. So yeah, I have my finger in a lot of pies, so to speak.
What’s the most common problems you see with your clients?
The most common problem is lack of libido, and boredom in long term monogamous relationships.
I heard that 80% of women do not know where their g-spot is (is this true?) – where are we going wrong?
There’s definitely a lack of education for women and men around sexuality and orgasm … this leads to us all having really disempowering experiences and so many people are missing out on ecstatic sex! I believe that we need to take responsibility for our sex lives and educate ourselves … if we did this then we would know exactly where our g-spots are.
How can we learn to be more assertive in the bedroom?
Number 1: work on your own ‘stuff’ that gets in the way of you asking for what you want. We all have baggage from childhood, past relationships, broken hearts etc … all of this blocks us from being really true to ourselves. If we work on our shit we can let go of past hurt and move into more authentic relating, which then leads to being more confident in assertiveness.
If you wanted to become more educated in the bedroom what are some of your favourite resources?
Firstly, buy my eBook, How To Have Great Sex Every Day. Come to one of my workshops. Alternatively you could read one of my top three books:
Orgasm Unleashed, Eyal Matsliah
Dear Lover, David Deida
Urban Tantra, Barbara Carrellas
Is it a good idea to buy your partner a sex toy as a present?
Yes! But not just any sex toy, I recommend Chakrubs crystal pleasure wands. They have super powers in the crystals and they are amazing. I begin selling them on my website this month.
What are alternative sexual practices?
I guess they are practices outside of the normal mainstream sex. Tantra, using jade eggs, polyamory … stuff that mainstream people don’t do. It’s up to the individual as to what they see as alternative.
Can you please explain tantra to me?
Tantra is choosing with awareness what bring us joy. Tantra brings sacredness into sex. It brings deeper connection and takes sex to a whole new level of amazingness!