People have different approaches to dating: some are in it for the long run, looking for commitment and long term plans; while others prefer a more casual approach, opting instead to have short-term relationships with multiple partners. It takes a bit of everything to make a world, and it is great that we live in a society which is growing more tolerant towards alternative approaches to sex and love. However, some people still put a stigma onto people who enjoy casual relationships, and this can be felt more if you are dating people from your local area.
Dating people who live in your area has been the norm for a long time, but this has begun to change over time, as people have become more flexible with how they can transport themselves. Further, the increasing popularity of online dating has encouraged people to meetup with new partners across the country. However, some internet dating sites who specialize in local casual dating, have recently emerged in an attempt to make local dating easier and more convenient, and for the most part, these websites work really well. But when it comes down to dating people in our area, there are some pros and cons that are worth considering.
The most obvious advantage of dating people from your area is that it not only cuts transport costs, but it also saves us time, which makes it both accessible and convenient. Anyone dating over long distances will testify to it being an expensive and time consuming endeavour, and not everyone has the time or resources to put into long distance relationships – casual or committed.
Meeting up in a strange town far away can feel a bit unfamiliar, and a benefit of local dating is that you remain on familiar territory, which makes most people feel more relaxed and comfortable. The fact that you know where you are and you know how to make it home is definitely a plus for those who prefer sticking to their known territory.
Finally, being able to hook-up with local people means that you don’t need to plan too far ahead if you want to enjoy a bit of company or a hookup. Not only is it time saving, but it allows you to have some fun soon after the mood strikes you, and let’s face it: you can’t always plan on which mood you are going to be in. Having to drive long distances can sometime cut that mood down, making you lose momentum.
First, always remember to consider your safety. If you want a hookup or casual encounter, that’s great! But be sure to meet up in a public place, watch your drink, let a friend know where you’ll be and when you’ll be back, and have some safety precautions (like the name and number of a local cab company). In any type of dating, it’s important to keep your safety a priority.
Beyond that – we live in a small world, and people enjoy finding out about the latest gossip, especially when it comes to who is sleeping with who. This is one of the biggest drawbacks of local casual dating: you might find that your big city feels pretty small after sleeping around – and your hookups might know or find out about each other. No matter how much you try to keep your business to yourself, you might find yourself in an uncomfortable situation when two of your hookups happen to know each other from their friend or work circles.
The other thing is that if you have multiple partners, you run the risk of those partners meeting up. Can you imagine being on a date with one bae, and other bae walking in? You can turn it into a good thing if you’re crafty, but it can also lead to issues of jealousy and general social awkwardness. There is also always the chance that you might sleep with someone who already has a partner (which can happen whenever you’re dating, really) leading to further stress and potentially unpleasant encounters.
It’s All About Discretion
The best bet when it comes to having local casual encounters is to stay discreet. You shouldn’t have to hide what you do, but a bit of discretion on what you share surely helps.
To keep discreet, meet up in venues where other local acquaintances won’t see you. Don’t date at the same bars and restaurants over and over, and try to avoid going on a date in another date’s neighborhood. The less chance you could cross paths, the better!
You might also want to avoid kissing and telling, beyond your immediate friend circle, to prevent jealousy among casual partners. It is understandable that anyone having a good time wants to brag about it, but keep your bragging to your BFF’s so that the people you are seeing don’t find out or get affected by it. Definitely don’t brag to other partners about each other (unless you think both will be cool with it!).
Overall, just make an effort to be discreet about your business. It’s not that you have anything to hide, but it is a way to keep things respectful between all the parties involved. You can still enjoy a good time without having to worry about awkward social interactions!