A good male friend of mine recently directed me toward a website, that is almost the male counterpart to this site. They write articles on manly things, testosterone things, and some douchey things. I’m mostly entertained by the articles and lists I’ve read, or I get confused. I don’t have a penis, so not everything will make sense – I get that. I imagine that most men that read any of our submissions walk away with a glazed-over look of bewilderment – and I hope even a little embarrassment – because wow, some of y’all even make me blush!
The first article my friend sent was “24 Signs She’s a Slut“. I read the whole thing, laughing through most of the article. He made a good list, I won’t deny that. A few month’s later the same author posts “26 More Signs She’s a Slut” – and again, mostly a good laugh. I don’t really take offense to anything that he says, but I can see how some women were rubbed the wrong way. As I was reading each article, I recognized myself in several of his indicators, which may not be an easy pill to swallow for some ladies. In his defense, he does say that displaying one characteristic of this list does not make a girl a slut. It’s more a rule of numbers, and in his experience, the higher your number, the more likely you are to be slutty.
When I set about to write this column, I thought I wanted to make my own list of traits about men that would classify them as promiscuous. But no one cares. Men, by societal standards, are allowed to be easy without their actions being called into judgement. We think it’s sexy. In fact, most of us want a man with as much experience as us, if not more!
Then I realized that while I was laughing at his article, it also made me a little sad. Why can’t we all agree that it’s okay to be sexually open and adventurous?! Why does it take a combination of nearly 50 characteristics to let a guy know we’re interested in being satisfied in the bedroom? (Or couch, or floor, or kitchen counter, or against the wall?) Basically, these articles are saying, “Here are 50 ways that I’m going to seek your attention, and if you give it to me, I shall reward you with my vagina! Hooray!!”
However, the tone of the articles wasn’t one of celebration for anyone, other than that guy’s penis. We (women) are expected to hide our sexual prowess behind these silly cliches, and then as a result, we are devalued. I, for one, do not support a system in which my confidence and curiosity is discouraged. I have high hopes that my gaggle of gals, and all our successors and descendants, are able to maintain a sense of dignity and self-respect when the odds are against the fairer sex and her primal appetite.
Unfortunately, I see more and more women embracing a slut-shaming mentality and owning the negative stereotypes. In fact, I feel that some women would take those articles and turn them into a bucket list. I don’t recommend that. I don’t support giving anymore power to the cliches. You should not waver in your self worth or confidence if you possess any number – from one to fifty – of the slutty indicators!
You are not damaged. You are not used. You are not less worthy. You are not dirty (in a bad way).
Embrace your instinct and inquisitive nature. Promote a healthy and positive opinion of sexuality – whatever your indulgence.
P.S. For the sake of full disclosure, I hit about 20 of the 50. If I didn’t over think it. I guess that means I’m slutty… who knew!?
I lurk on ROK more than I would like to admit, so it’s great to see I’m not the only one. I never know when I click on one of their pieces if I’m going to laugh or get irrationally angry.
Great work though, I really enjoyed reading this!
And… 19/50, with a few I wasn’t really sure about 🙂
I completely agree with your opinion of ROK! It’s a slippery slope. But it’s good to stay in the loop for all sides of a story. Thanks for reading! XO
This post is really eye-opening for me, as we explore turning stereotypes on their heads or showing that “slut” can be positive. You can be promiscuous AND respectable/respected. The two are not mutually exclusive. I look forward to the day where the whole world sees it that way – and stops shaming women for their natural desires. Great article.
I’m thankful we’re not still stoned for our urges – we’d all be pummeled. Raising my glass to progress! Thank you for the excellent feedback. xo
I’ll raise a glass to not being pummeled!
That too! Next round on me!!
Love wands they are my favorite sex toys I prefer them to be plunged into a wall.
THE CONTENT IS JUST AWESOME.THANK YOU FOR SHARING IT WITH US.
Holy shit. Hottest piece you’ve written yet……..