So you’re out with the girls and your dancing is flawless. That is, until you decide it’s the right time to use that pole…

Clearly, the pole can be used for ultimate provocation, to emphasize your dancing ability, work that ass, and flaunt your assets. So you stand there with the girls all around this pole, one hand on it, and looking fine. The next morning though, you see those photos and you appear to be simply bobbing up and down, not in sync with your partners in crime but very much in canon. Although you could have sworn you looked better than that, you are slightly mortified that the photos make you look like you’re 14 again and not that sensual babe you thought you were.

Well my fellow slutizens, fear no more. You are about to discover how to be a minx, rather than an awkward prude, on that pole!

It has been recognized that pole dancing is an art, like ballet, but with less clothing and a pole. Fear not if you have not yet mastered the art of performing aerial splits upside down. This will come.

Before You Begin

First, you need to make sure the moves you want to do are safe with the outfit you’re wearing. (Unless you’re going for an erotic peep show – maybe you are?) Make sure you won’t reveal anything you could charge for.

Second, what are those on your feet? If they are the signature killer heels, you may want to either take them off or keep moves tame and slow, to save you needing to compose a scientific experiment on whether gravity works at that precise moment.

Thirdly, are you wasted? How wasted? Ask yourself if you can handle some basic balance and spins. If they’ll send you into a nose-dive, best to skip the pole this time.

Getting Used to the Pole

To start the art of seduction on the pole, you need to get to grips with the pole, know the pole, feel the pole, be the pole etc. This can be by just holding the pole, sliding your hands up and down it, whilst contemplating the idea of a good time (remember when you’ve done this before). In a guys’ mind, the pole is a metaphor for his dick. Even though it is unlikely that any male in the room is going to have a pole to match, you must remember that the pole is a dick. Anything you do to that pole is going to be done to the males’ dicks in their own imagination. So if you start kicking the pole, well, you know what I mean.

Slow and smooth movements work best to start with. Lightly holding the pole in front of you with both hands, take your right leg and step to the right, keep it smooth, then do the same with the left; keep the hips loose and hands on the pole – you should stay around the same area and not end up going around the pole.

The Slut Drop

Now, are we all familiar with the ‘Slut Drop’ yes? Good, because you’re going to do one. With your back to the pole, raise one arm up behind you to cup the pole in your hand. You then just have to squat against the pole – a sexy twist is to slightly circulate the squat with your hips – or slightly swing from one side of the pole to the other. A second support hand can be used straight behind you to give you somewhere to put your other hand, or your spare hand can be lightly rested on your thigh or knee.

For a demonstration, check out this video.

Body Rolls

Another move to emphasize your confidence and shamelessness are body rolls. Body rolls are similar to the ‘Worm’, that awful move your brother pulls out at family weddings and events. However, you don’t need to drop to the floor or kick anyone in the face in the process: with your feet together firmly on the ground, hold the pole with both hands at chest height or slightly lower for a bigger roll. Lean your back out, keep it controlled, and then bend the knees to squat down at the same time pulling your chest back into the pole, let your fine ass stick right out and roll your whole body up into the starting position.

Not only will these moves make you the DOM on the pole but most likely you will be the only one who can work a pole with style and no bobbing. Everyone who attempts these things after you… pffft, girl you are a trendsetter and other girls want to be you. Voila! You are the most desirable babe in the club. Too easy.

Ultimately, instead of listening to me you could do some research of your own, there’s never a scaffolding pole too far away to practice right?