In case you didn’t know, we’re in the midst of International Clitoris Awareness Week! But what is a clitoris and how do you find one?

Female sexual anatomy is a complicated layer-cake of folds and delicious fleshy nubs of pleasure. It is no surprise that even women, owners of said delicate and complex sexual machinery, need a manual and a mirror to full get in touch with what makes their engine purr! …or even where to stick the key.

The Outer and Inner Labia

This part you should all be familiar with, but don’t feel weird if you are not. There are numerous instances of women inserting tampons in their rectums by mistake! My suggestions is that everyone reading brings a hand-held mirror to a well lit bathroom and letting your fingers do some exploring to figure out which of your bits do what.

The Vagina: It functions almost entirely in a reproductive function. Principally, 1) menstruation, 2) penis reception, 3) semen containment, and 4) birth passage. According to the defenders of vaginally-caused orgasm, the interior wall of the vagina is the center and producer of the orgasm, however—

like nearly all other internal body structures, poorly supplied with end organs of touch. The internal entodermal origin of the lining of the vagina makes it similar in this respect to the rectum and other parts of the digestive tract.  The degree of insensitivity inside the vagina is so high that “Among the women who were tested in our gynecologic sample, less than 14% were at all conscious that they had been touched.”
Even the importance of the vagina as an erotic center (as opposed to an orgasmic center) has been found to be minor. (Kinsey, Sexual Behavior in the Human Female, p.580.)

That is not to say that areas on the underside of the vagina (aka the G-spot) or the cervix are not sensitive to thrusts and friction. They most certainly are! However, the clitoris does not have any other function other than being an organ of sexual pleasure.

The Urethra

The urethra (colloquially known as the pee hole) seems to be a trendy topic of discussion and just overall puzzlement as to its location. This is where you will REALLY need a mirror …or just do a quick Google Image search.

The Clitoris

This is the little nub under a little hood that sits at the very top of the entire lady bit undercarriage. It may respond with unmatched sensitivity when the hood is pulled away and pressure is applied directly. You may also be on the receiving end of a less-developed clitoris as your individual hormones dictate. If that is the case, finding said nub of flesh will be a little more difficult and more pressure may need to be applied for sexual gratification. (This is why magic wands were invented!)

The Clitoris: a tiny equivalent of a penis head as it has the same type of structure and function as the head of the male penis, except that the urethra does not go through it as in the penis. Clitoral “erection” is similar to the male erection in the sense that the clitoris becomes slightly larger and harder as blood rushes to it.

The head of the clitoris is also composed of erectile tissue, and it possesses a very sensitive epithelium or surface covering, supplied with special nerve endings called genital corpuscles, which are peculiarly adapted for sensory stimulation that under proper mental conditions terminates in the sexual orgasm. No other part of the female generative tract has such corpuscles. (C. Lombard Kelly, in Sexual Feeling in Married Men and Women. Pocketbooks; p.35.)

Where Is It!?

Guys (and let’s face it, too many girls who were slut-shamed early on) have a hard time finding the clitoris as it is, and I am here to tell you that it is all much bigger than that. Outer clit characteristics vary between girls much like the inner labia shape and size does as well. No two pussies are alike, they are like fingerprints! Generally located under a “hood” of skin that should be pulled back to expose the little pleasure button and can be found at the top of labia minora.

However, if you look at internal structure of the clitoris, it is actually a large structure that wraps all the way around to the rectum – shaped somewhat like a wishbone. This is the reason your entire lady area gets swollen during intense excitement or during and shortly after orgasm. That shape and size is the reason why G-spot stimulation is so …stimulating as you are massaging the clitoral muscle from inside the vagina, which is why you always go up and towards the front crooking your fingers to find the magic spot.  That is also the reason why anal penetration can feel really, really good to many women because it is rubbing the clitoris from the other side!

Orgasms, am I right!?

Vaginal orgasms are even more elusive than the fabled G-spot or the clitoris. Let’s recap: the vagina has very few nerve endings and that’s probably how it can stretch to fit something (a baby) roughly the size of a mutant grapefruit without killing you from pain sensations in the process. Boys and girls, for the love of all things happiness and science, let go of the vaginal orgasm dream at least until you (or your female partner) is at the peak of sexual sensitivity and knowledge! Do recall that only 5%-14% of women in the history of time have experienced a “vaginal orgasm”.

Next, the clitoris is FUCKING GIGANTIC and it goes up and down and all around the back (see the diagram above). Think of vagina and clitoris (and the bootyhole) more like a network of nerves and muscles all working in concert. Sometimes massaging or giving attention to areas in and around the vicinity can aid greatly in the achievement of a female orgasm. And yes, emphasis on massaging and not poking, stabbing, or jabbing. We all make fun of the “rabbit” or “jackhammer” style of fucking that is so common in inexperienced men! Slow and deliberate strokes are much more effective to achieve genuine climax.

To help you along the road to exploring your clitoris, use your fingers to explore your folds while listening to a really good audiobook of a “romance” novel if you are feeling brave and excited about the whole experience. If you are a first-time explorer, of not just of your clitoris, but also your sexuality, a more blunt and powerful instrument might be required. Explore the world of vibrators and other toys designed to make all your lady bits happy!


Sexual Behavior in the Human Female, Alfred C. Kinsey, Pocketbooks, 1953.
Sexual Feelings in Married Men and Women, G. Lombard Kelly, Pocketbooks, 1951 and 1965.