Sexual innovations have come a long way from the days of dildos made of stone as in Aristophane’s “Lysistrata”, or the use of animal intestines to less painfully replicate the male parts. I mean a long way. Just look at the plethora of pleasure producers online, or in any XXX adult store. Though I am highly intrigued by the various vibrating, fuzzy, fierce and etc, sex toys we have, as a culture, created, I stand by the belief that the best sex “toys” to this day can all be found on the human body.
To spice things up, or as an aid, a toy may be fun or necessary, but in my opinion, the most significant sexual innovation is lubricant. It can make sex less painful yes, (yawn), but more so than that it is an absolute sex toy that, when used correctly, can totally change up the sexual routine between partners. Lubricant on it’s own is great for foreplay, but like any toy, when used too often, it can lose its appeal.
That’s why I’d like to take this opportunity to enumerate the wonderful reasons why flavored lubricants should be in every gal’s repertoire of sex enhancers!
Remember when we were younger and we would go to our friends houses and eat dinner there, and the food in their house was so obscure to us we thought we were having a 5-star meal? And why? Just because it was different than what we were used to eating! (Pun alert). It’s kind of like that. Even if flavored lube seems so weird and uncool and yuck to you and your partner, try it out and tell me it wasn’t fucking awesome solely because it was different. Changing things up in the bedroom is always fun, so experimenting with tasty lubricants will be no different.
Imagine you actually taste like “PepsiCola” as Lana Del Ray so seductively alludes to in her sex-laden love ballads. Now imagine your partner’s reactions to your sweet and sexy taste. Really, putting anything on your lady-parts will indefinitely turn your sex mate on, but flavored lube is sweet, juicy, and not often overly moist or sticky, (I’d go with Sweet Licks), so he or she will enjoy literally eating it off of you. And if you are a lube nube, you could simply start by placing the syrupy strawberry concoction on a finger and allowing your partner a taste. Introducing them to the fun before it actually goes anywhere fun is a great way to warm up to it, and yet pass it off as teasing. Be sexy about it! Ask your partner if he or she is hungry, have them beg for a taste, or even ask them where they want the new bedroom toy applied. Playing around can take hours, the buildup only making the sex that much more intense!
As in using any other new product or toy, there is an excitement about it that can get you very, um, excited or roused about using it. The act of picking out flavors, (look you could even get a trial pack of a few), getting all lubed up, and thinking about the coming strawberry-sex will make the idea of sex so damn appealing that even the ride home from Spencers seems to take too long. We don’t often associate sex with “fun”, (it’s not like your on a damn roller coaster), but sex should be enjoyable, exciting, and you should have a great time during it. That being said, it is okay to not be porn-star-like-dominatrix-wannabee-Britney-in-Toxic-video sexy the entire time you are engaging in foreplay or having sex. Laughing, giggling, smiling and being yourself are all okay when experimenting with a new sex today! Hell, knowing me the second any guy would put even a drop of Sweet Licks on me i’d be cracking jokes about “the fruits of my labor” or begin singing “Peaches & Cream” if that were the flavor we chose.
Point is: flavored lubricants are both a sexy and fun way to heat things up in the bedroom, (no literally, they heat up, just read the label, they are heated). I would wait to introduce them into your sex life after you have been with a person multiple times, that way you are aware of the rhythm you two have before trying to shake it up, but if you feel it would be appropriate to turn up the heat during a one night stand than by all means.
So though you may think of flavored lubricants like flavored coffees, only girls who don’t really like oral need flavored lubricants, real girls who like it would drink it black, realize there’s much more to bringing sweet flavors into the bedroom than taste-masking or an immature penial palette.
As a former drama major, I appreciate the “Lysistrata” reference 🙂