For me, porn has been really instrumental in figuring out what I like and what turns me on. As a woman who watches porn, I love it. I can almost never get through more than a ten-minute clip without coming. But, that wasn’t always the case. For a long time, I didn’t understand my pleasure, or what could bring me to orgasm.

When I started having sex at 15, it was only because I thought that was what was expected of me. I never really considered my pleasure to be an important part. At 18, I started to actually enjoy sex for the first time, and I found myself at an important crossroad – I could continue to have sex the way I thought would please men most, or I could figure out what I wanted in bed and learn to really enjoy sex.

I chose the second option, and thank god I did, because four years later, I’m now sexually satisfied, experienced, and very confident in bed. And, I thank porn for that.

 

Make Porn Work For You

Figuring out what you’re into through porn is actually quite easy. There are only a few steps, and none of them are hard (but the dicks/phallic objects are). The only semi-difficult thing about using porn to personalize your sex life is that it might take some time to explore what’s out there. There are a lot of different folks and they all have different strokes, and finding your could take a lot of scrolling and exploring! But, it’s a worthwhile adventure, and here’s a few easy steps…

 

The Steps:

 

  1. Keep an open mind! I’m serious. I’m into some weird shit (or some non-traditional shit, I should say, because I don’t believe in kink shaming). This process might show you that you’re really into anal when previously you thought it was not for you. We often find that things we once thought were “taboo” (or still do!) actually really turn us on. And that’s totally okay! It means nothing about you as a person or your character, and you might actually end up changing your mind about what you’re comfortable with. Also, keep in mind, it can be interesting to explore kinks or themes you don’t understand the attraction of. You don’t need to know why something turns you on to embrace it!
  2. Categories are your friends: Start in a category you’re comfortable with and that intrigues you. Watch some videos, see if anything catches your eye in terms of themes or topics, then branch out in that category or a new concept that turned you on. Once you’ve acclimated yourself to that, choose some common themes and hop on over to another category you’re curious about. Keep exploring related concepts until you start to find the niches that speak to you!
  3. Know/Learn your limits: If you find something you really don’t like, you don’t have to keep trying. It’s okay and totally natural to find things that don’t turn you on, or even turn you off. Knowing what you don’t like helps you refine your search and get you closer to the things you do like!
  4. Use the features! Many sites help you search by topic, keywords, channels, particular performers, and even porn that appeals to certain groups, such as popular with women (link NSFW) and related videos. These features can help you find the things you really like, and narrow your search even further! If I accidentally pick a video I’m not super into, I always try the related videos first before doing an entirely new search and it works about 90% of the time. Ditto if you think one porn star or another is really hot!
  5. Keep trying! This takes time. The things we like can change, can turn out to actually be something we don’t like at all, or can just be plain old hard to figure out. Don’t get discouraged, I promise you’ll find your niche!
  6. Communicate: Once you find something you like, if you want to share the experience with your partner, you can let your partner know (or, keep it on the shelf for a future partnership!) Personally, I like to begin new sexual relationships by trading links to porn videos we like, so that we’re able to see what the other is into. Not only is it hot, but you can also learn something new and find things you have in common with potential partners.

 

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Porn can be your friend if you let it, and it can teach you what you want. Your sex life is just that, YOUR sex life! Go forth and explore, and I wish you speed and efficiency in finding what turns you on! Personally, I just want the entire world to have orgasms (it’s my strategy for world peace). Good luck and happy searching!

 

 

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