Is there anything more liberating than letting a loud shriek out into the night as you and your lover’s limbs twist in the dark? What about when you near orgasm and you feel a growl slip from between your teeth? It is in these moments that you feel more like an animal and less like the woman you are in public.
But what if you don’t feel comfortable letting this animal out? What if the growls and purrs and shrieks seemed trapped inside you? What if you’re not even aware of them? With this primer, we’d like to wholeheartedly encourage you to add this layer to your lovemaking for more thrilling, intimate sex, as well as a whole different type of release.
It is true that there is something primal about the sounds that come from sex. For the women (and men) out there who aren’t in touch with this part of themselves yet, the instances in which they hear of said sounds being correlated with a hot night of sex, seem to further rub into an inability to get in touch with this primal need. Hot sex being primarily connected to releasing an inner animal seems to be all over the place in pop culture – music, movies, books; but in real life, even in the context of the bedroom, these sounds seem silly or childish or worse, straight up embarrassing.
But we’re here to tell you to not be afraid of the tiger that exists inside – whether the partner you share your bed with is someone new or someone you know well, bringing these deep sounds into your lovemaking is one of the quickest ways to push boundaries in the bedroom, whether you keep the lights on or prefer them off. Not only is it wickedly fun to hear the purrs, growls and screams that are released by both partners during sexual contact, but it connects on a deeply visceral level that both makes us vulnerable, but also makes us strong. Most of all, it confirms the animal inside us all.
But, since it may not always be easy to just let go and start making those sounds, know this – our sexual voice is usually different than our speaking voice. Experiment with the pitch levels that you’re already equipped with- try high, breathy, almost girlish pitches and weave them with lower, guttural demands that come from deep in your throat. Experiment with high-pitched squeals and then change the tone of your voice… Moving between being commanding to be submissive, to talking dirty to whispering sweet nothings carries unique thrills. And to move into animalistic mastery in the bedroom, try using touch and sound in conjunction with one another. It might surprise both you and your partner!
Don’t be embarrassed if it doesn’t come easily to you. When we grow up in families that don’t talk about sex and continue those trends in our groups of friends, it’s hard to release all those years in one bout of sex. Don’t be discouraged either. Start slowly and work your way up. Accessing our deepest erotic, animalistic places doesn’t have to be hard… When we do so, we are merely tapping into the power of our own voice by discovering the full range of sounds we create in the throes of passion. In this way, we are also introducing the placement of dirty words (as these often follow the sounds we utter). There is nothing more self-empowering to allow yourself permission to release those sounds waiting to come out.
Regardless, it’s more common than not to experience discomfort when you begin this journey; a journey that’s surely unique to everyone. An easy way to begin is to start with sounds and then experiment with words. For example, a growl could easily turn into a, “F*** me harder like that.” Encourage your partner to find words or sounds, as well, by asking things like, “Does this feel good?” or “Did you like when I did________ to you?” Both of you will soon find that words that seemed dirty from the outset actually begin feeling comfortable. This in itself is a rush. Allow the excitement and anticipation to grow as you plan what you’re going to tell them next. Heck, drop the plan and just feel… Let the words and sounds and movements guide your passion. Like an animal, move on instinct.
So, as the weather gets warmer, the bedroom is sure to get hotter as you turn up the heat with your partner. Release your inhibitions and push your boundaries. Talking dirty isn’t really dirty when you’re allowing your inner animal to come out and play.