Masturbation is important, healthy, and quite the natural mood enhancer. Sex toys clearly help and enhance masturbation – but getting into the world of dildos, vibrators (yes, they are two different things!) and lube can be nerve raking. Which is why I am here to introduce to you, da-da-daaa, The Dildo Date.  The Dildo Date is when you, accompanied by your besties, wine and dine each other then head over to your local (and trustworthy!) sex shop to get yourselves an education on masturbation.

There are a ton of toys out there, so talking to a professional (including us here at Slutty Girl Problems) helps you know the pros and cons of each toy, which will help you make a smart choice. Plus, they know about all the best toys and can point you in the right direction. I went on my first Dildo Date a few years back and was introduced to this amazing little product known as warming lube. It has been stocked in my bedroom since. Bringing your friend along helps with the giggles, first-timer blushing, and creates a safety net. Ultimately, the goal of The Dildo Date is to introduce you and your friend into the world of sex toys in the smartest and most fun way possible!

Grab a friend, or a few, and spoil yourselves. All steps are important because the experience is about bonding, education, and feeling sexy. Fair warning: you’re not going to want to be cheap.

1. Get Ready, Actually Ready!

Dress as if you’re going on a date with a hot guy (or girl), and you know some sexy time is being served as dessert. Yes, it’s just with your girlfriends, so chances are you aren’t all fucking at the end of this – but feeling sexy, with lingerie and all, is part of this experience. So take your time: do your hair, wear your sex-kitten heels, and pout your perfectly lined lips. Plus, you’ll want to take pictures because let’s be honest – it’s not a real date if it’s not on Insta.

2. Go Out To Dinner, Not Pizza

As I stated above: This isn’t going to be a cheap and I’m a big believer in go big or go home. Go somewhere nice, maybe even make a reservation at the hot new spot you’ve been talking about. Take your time eating, wining, and talking with your sex-pot friends. Bond over sexual escapades and lame hookups. Lease stress at the door, because stressful isn’t sexy. You can even challenge each other. Is there a cutie your friend is eyeing at the bar? Encourage your friend to flaunt their flirt. Flirting is a great mood booster, and we all feel sexy when our flirt game is on point.

3. Good Sex Shops Don’t Have Peep Rooms

Stay as far away as humanly possibly from creepy, basement sex shops with “live entertainment” slapped across the door. There’s so many no-no’s about places like this, but in a short, just stay away. Let Yelp and Google will be your guide for high-end, reputable sex shops or adult boutiques. Take a look at websites in advance to see if the adult shop looks classy.

If the store has neon signs and porn posters covering the windows to the point where you can’t see inside – that’s a red flag. If there are only men, typically older and consistently on the phone, who don’t offer you help and you can feel their glare on your body, huge red flag – girl, get out! A good sex shop should look like a boutique with clean displays and friendly, educated, co-ed staff.

The best part about sex shops with solid reputations is that the staff is knowledgeable without being judgmental. You’re there with your best friend(s), so you have a judgment free crowd supporting and joining you on your quest. If something makes you nervous, you’ll have a giggle buddy. Ask questions, be free with what you like and don’t, and most importantly, go in with an open mind – you never know what you’ll find.

4. Research Will Get You Wet

Don’t go into your search completely blind. There are a lot of different types of toys, materials, features, and functions out there – and you can learn in advance with the world wide web. Know what you’re looking for and what you are not. Here are some common toys and the different materials:

• Vibrators – Vibrating toys that can come in various sizes and shapes with different bumps, ridges, or grooves to enhance your pleasure. There are also combination vibrators (like rabbits) that do clitoral stimulation as well as vaginal vibration, or even bring anal vibration into the mix. These toys are battery operated or rechargeable and usually have speed control and different patterns. Not all vibrators are created equal: some are weak, cheap, light, and buzzy – while others are powerful, strong, and rumbly.
• Dildos – Non-vibrating toys that are primarily for insertion, vaginally or anally. Some are simple and sleek, while others are as realistic as a fake penis can get (sometimes even with balls). They come in all sizes, shapes, and colors and can be made from a variety of materials. The most popular is silicone, but there is also plastic, metal, aluminum, ceramic, and others. There are also jelly, latex, rubber, PVC, TPR, and TPE toys – but these are porous and sometimes toxic, so not recommended.

Side note on body-safe materials: Cheaper toys are often made of jelly and the above latter-mentioned materials. These are often dangerous because of the phthalates and other chemicals used in the process of making the jelly/rubber/ PVC toy. These chemicals can cause immediate irritation, rashes, and discomfort – but also have long-term health effects. Usually, any cheap toy that is made of a soft, jelly-like material is a huge no-no. Silicone is by far the best for most folks, and plastic, metal, aluminum, and ceramic are great alternatives.

When I first bought a vibrator, I didn’t do my research, only to end up being shocked, scared and (after throwing Mr. Giggles away) without a vibrator. Our founder’s first vibrator was also made of jelly, and gave her tons of vaginal pain that took months to go away. Don’t make the same mistake we did – seriously research your toy.

• Beads and balls – Ben Wa Balls or vibrating eggs are used to strengthen your kegel muscles for stronger orgasms, and sometimes give a feeling of fullness with gentle stimulation. Ben Wa Balls can be loose or have strings at the end for easier removal after being inserted into the vagina. Similarly, anal beads are inserted into (take a guess) the anus slowly and removed for stimulation, particularly during orgasm.
• Rechargeable vs. Battery operated – Anything that vibrates needs energy. Some vibrators will need batteries or some are completely rechargeable! The rechargeable ones sit on a charging base or have a port that plugs into your wall or USB. Rechargeable vibrator are more expensive but well worth the money. They last much longer, tend to be higher quality, and will end up paying for itself in recharging versus buying batteries.

5. Buy The Damn Dildo!

Or vibrator, or other sex toy, or all of them! Commit to your own pleasure, and make sure your girl commits to hers. Get that new toy, then get more involved in your pleasure. If you’re interested but not willingly to put down the cash just yet, try out a sample of something like lubes, lotions, and edibles that are fairly cheap ($1 – $3 range). Really awesome sex shops have classes, like Strip Tease Basics or Intro To Anal. If something sparks your interest, sign up for it because education never truly ends. Encourage each other to try something new. There are also books if you don’t want to dive into a class. Most sex shops also have e-letters, which will range from coupons to class updates to new studies in sex. One sex toy rarely quenches your thirst for more, so sign up! Get that new info and a coupon on those beads you liked, but couldn’t afford at the time. Also, nice sex shops will often give you the option to have their logo on your bag or get a plain bag – be proud of your purchase and opt for the bag with the logo.

6. Part Ways, Then Part Your Legs

Best friends do a lot together, but masturbating isn’t usually one of them. Now that you’re equipped with your newest toy, kiss your friend bye-bye and try not to let anyone catch you sprinting home. Lock your door and time to explore! My tips: start slow – fingers first, then use lube, and lastly incorporate your toy. If you got a vibrator, test out the different speeds – variety is the spice of life and just like sex, sometimes you’ll want slow and sensual other times you’ll want fast and hard. Also, there are certain positions for feeling better during masturbation! Try on your back, on your side, standing up, or the frog pose (think of the position you’re in when getting a Brazilian). Masturbation isn’t the only use of these toys; you can add them into foreplay with your partner – after you’ve tried them out for yourself first, of course!