Bend Over, Boyfriend
Of all the toys that Tantus sent me, they included a few that would really test my limits. I had tried large dildos and harsh paddles before (although Tantus’ products still pleased me in new and unique ways) but never had I ever used a butt plug, double penetrating vibrator, or strap on. But, despite being in uncharted territory, I felt safe with Tantus‘s toys. If I was going to try something outside of my comfort zone, I would definitely want it to come from them. I’m in love with their 100% high-quality, medical-grade, ultra-premium silicone blend – a material they guarantee to use throughout all their toys, even their paddles and gags! But best of all, Tantus has a commitment to making EVERYTHING high quality, whether it’s their silicone toys, bullets, or bondage products. So, when Tantus offered to send me the Bend Over Beginner Kit – a dildo and harness set perfect for any strap on beginner – I was thrilled to take them up on the offer. I had always been curious about gender reversal play with strap ons, and luckily have an open minded partner, so there was no better time to try!
Material: Silicone Dildos, Velvet Harness, Nylon Straps, Plastic Adjusters, Metal Buckles
Special Features: High Quality, Harness Compatible, Comfortable, Adjustable, Washable, Pocket for Bullet, Remove-able O-Ring (2 sizes)
At first glance, gender role reversal may be a little taboo… hell, it could even be considered intimidating. It’s definitely not “vanilla” sex, or everyone’s cup of tea. Your partner may be hesitant to give it a try at all… and if your partner isn’t open to it, it won’t be pleasurable for either of you. Luckily, I have a partner who finds this taboo just as exciting as I do, and gets a rush from switching up the norm and trying something kinky for a change.
Simply put, using a strap on has given me a newfound love for the peen. Having the roles reversed and being on the “guys end” was powerful, playful, exposing, and thrilling. I could literally have a dick all day (if I could choose to remove it whenever I wanted). If you’ve ever wondered what it feels like to have a sex from a man’s perspective, using a strap on is the perfect (non-permanent) solution.
My absolute favorite thing about the strap on isn’t the pleasure, or the pleasure it gives my partner. Instead, it’s the eye-opening, revealing process of partially seeing and understanding what a guy experiences during sex, and why they love it so much. As a woman who loves sex, I can admit that sometimes having sex isn’t very visually appealing. In fact, most times that I’ve had sex – visuals are almost completely left out the pleasure-invoking experience. Nearly everything that gives a women pleasure is internal or difficult to see. Instead, all we see is something going inside us and virtually disappearing – somehow creating pleasure. It is a very one-sided view of sex that doesn’t give us the visual excitement men experience and crave.
From a guy’s perspective, sex is VERY visual. The thing that gives them pleasure is totally outside of their bodies, and they can see each and every thing that touches and moves around it to please them. They also get the experience of putting their penis inside another person and giving that person pleasure… where as women, we tend to be more on the passive and receiving end. But I never quite understood what was so visually appealing about the male’s perspective until experiencing it for myself. Seeing each and every motion and how it affected my partner was thrilling and powerful. I felt in control and confident… I felt totally cocky. It was a total turn on to have the power!
I also loved watching from a guy’s perspective. Whether it was for oral sex or sex positions, being the one with the dick gave me inspiration. It helped me to see what it looks like from the other side, and gave me ideas on what I want to do next time – whether it was a new BJ technique or a way to move my body. It was also a way for my partner to let me know what feels good for him – and to understand what sex is like from a female perspective. For my partner – it wasn’t quite his favorite thing in the world, but he was open to it and excited that I was so turned on. It’s definitely something that we’ll both do again, not only for pleasure, but to change things up when our typical go-to’s get bland.
The experience has me at a total loss for words. For me, it was eye opening, powerful, pleasurable, and unique – but I don’t think it’s for everyone. I think it may be something each person has to experience for themselves to really understand, and had to judge for themselves if it’s something they will enjoy. Unlike a simple feeling of a dildo or vibrator, the emotional and mental role reversal of a strap on was empowering and one of a kind for me.
Fit, Design, & Features
The Bend Over Beginner Kit has a great fit that stays put, is totally adjustable, and can fit nearly any size (up to 60 inches around the hips). It is incredibly comfortable, with a velvet harness and easily adjustable nylon straps. It is 100% machine washable. The harness itself has a deep inner pocket that can hold a bullet (one speed bullet included). The one speed bullet is a decent starter bullet, but is definitely overpowered by the quality of the harness and dildos themselves. The pocket is perfectly place to be pleasurable for the giver – and if you put a strong enough vibe in there, it could be pleasurable for the receiver as well. Due to the design, you can leave some room below the base of the harness for some clitoral play or vaginal stimulation, which is fabulous!
It does take a moment to figure out where the dildo and harness will sit on your body. You have to adjust it properly so that it’s not only comfortable, but also is in the proper place that a penis would be (if you so desire it to be in the proper place). I had to use my partner as an example to figure out how this thing should be positioned… then figure out how to maneuver correctly to stimulate me and my partner. But once I figured out the right adjustment the first time (a bit looser around the bottom of the legs, and tighter around the hips), it’s been easy to put in the right position ever since.
Each dildo in the Bend Over Beginner Kit has a smooth, sleek, and comfortable design. The smaller dildo called “Silk Small” is just 4.5 inches long and 2.5 inches around (less than an inch in diameter) – making it the perfect choice for someone who is new to anal penetration. The larger dildo called “Silk Medium” is 5.5 inches long and 3.5 inches around (1.25 diameter) – and is more “penis like”. Each dildo has a flared base to fit the O-ring perfectly. But, if you’re using a larger dildo, there’s another larger O-ring that you can use. These sizes were perfect for my partner and I (both anal and strap on beginners). But, if you’re looking for something a bit larger, or are using the strap on with a female partner, you may want to try the Bend Over Intermediate Kit instead – which has dildos with a bit more length and girth. The only thing that would have made these dildos even better would have been a hole in the center to allow for a vibrating bullet – though Tantus has a ton of other dildos that have this awesome feature.
Like all of Tantus’s toys, the dildos in the Bend Over Beginner Kit are made of 100% high-quality, medical-grade, ultra-premium silicone blend. Silicone is known to be the safest material on the market… with an incredibly pleasurable feel. It is non-toxic, hypoallergenic, phthalate free, odorless, tasteless, and the go-to material for body-safe toys. These particular dildos have a glossy texture, which give them a nice glide after pairing it with some lube (probably hence the name “Silk”). Unlike velvet or matte silicone blends, the glossy silicone has very little drag once it’s inserted… which means less discomfort and less need for lube after you’re already warmed up (though if you’re exploring anal, the more lube the better!). It is also a bit plushy and pliable, rather than hard and rigid. It is very bendable, flexible, and best of all, comfortable.
Beyond the amazing feel of this material, silicone is incredibly easy to care for. You can quickly and easily wash the dildos with soap and warm water (both before and after play) and can also use toy wipes or cleaners. If you’re looking for more of a deep clean, this silicone is dishwasher safe, boil-able, and bleach-able – to assure that it’s totally clean. To bleach it, use a 10% bleach 90% water solution or a bleach like Clorox Anywhere Spray… then be sure to wash thoroughly with soap and water before using it on yourself. Don’t use alcohol on silicone toys, as it could degrade the material.
On the down side, this silicone is a total dust-magnet. Just setting it on the floor for a moment will get it covered in fuzz, hair, and everything else you can imagine. So, it’s important to store these dildos wisely – and clean if thoroughly before and after every use. Also, always use a water based lubricant with silicone toys, to avoid the silicone “melting”, degrading, and otherwise getting messed up from chemical reactions.
Having the roles reversed and being on the “guys end” was powerful, pleasurable, playful, exposing, eye-opening, thrilling and unique. I’m sure that each person has a different experience, and would really have to experience it for themselves to really understand what it feels like – and if it is right for them. Unlike a simple feeling of a dildo or vibrator, the emotional and mental role reversal of a strap on is empowering and one of a kind. If you’ve ever been curious about this exciting venture – or have a female partner you’re looking to penetrate – I would totally 100% no questions asked go with Tantus for your next toy or strap on. The quality simply cannot be beat.
Thank you, Tantus, for letting me review this incredible toy!
The Bend Over Beginner Kit can be found at Tantus for just over $100.
It’s worth EVERY penny!
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