Most of us have at least one fantasy we’ve never said out loud to a partner. Maybe you’re not sure how they’ll react, or there’s never a natural moment to bring up your desires. Or maybe you have an idea of what you like… but you want to understand your own desires deeper before bringing them into the bedroom.
BeMoreKinky is a couples app that seamlessly supports this exploration, with over 2,000+ activities that you can rate and share with your partner, or dive more deeply into with educational resources and guides to frame the details of your fantasies. The app helps you turn a hot thought into an actual plan, with guided courses, scene writers, and encrypted chat with your partners as you explore along the way. With more than 25,000 couples already on the app, I knew I had to try it for myself and invite my partner along for the ride.
Getting Started on BeMoreKinky
From the moment you download BeMoreKinky, you can tell that you’re in for a quality, exploratory experience. You start with a short onboarding quiz – the first question asks what you’d like more of: Talk more openly, Explore together, Gain kink skills, or Know yourself better. Then, a quick birthday check and consent & safety page, including sex-positive consent clauses like “I understand consent must be enthusiastic, ongoing, and can be withdrawn anytime.” I love that consent comes up before a single activity does.
The onboarding questions are quick, non-invasive, and can be skipped if you prefer. You can sign up Solo (“Exploring on my own”), In a partnership, or with Multiple partners, so there’s a path whether you’re single, partnered, or poly. To connect with your partner, you can send them a sign-up link or share an invite code that syncs your accounts. The app also asks how you’d like gendered terms to show up in activities. The options are Feminine, Masculine, Both, or Neutral, which skips gendered language entirely. Your choice changes the wording across the app to fit you and your relationship. It only changes the language, so every activity becomes inclusive and tailored to you.
Next, you pick how you see yourself in intimate situations: Domme-leaning, Sub-leaning, Switch (both), or Undecided. Then, how adventurous you feel right now. The scale runs from “New to this” (gentle starting recommendations) to “Very adventurous” (“We’ll open the more intense end of the catalog first”) which the app uses to build you a custom journey. A few more preference questions follow, where you answer “yes, no, or maybe” to specific activities you might be interested in. I got 13 options to rank, including keep a daily diary for them, follow eye contact rules, be lectured for misbehavior, and undergo service protocol training.
I loved that these questions went further than the usual “Do you want to be spanked? Restrained?” checklist. Some kinksters file this kind of thing under “24/7 dynamics.” I think of it as the mental and emotional side of kink: getting into the mindset, defining the boundaries of your hierarchy, and following established rules and protocol. That structure can build a ton of anticipation and excitement, even if you never raise a paddle.
Once complete, you can browse 1,000+ activities, take quick quiz assessments or deeper personality quizzes to fine-tune your preferences, or jump straight into full access of the app. My home screen opened on “Explore together,” with this week’s check-in quiz front and center: “What’s your dom archetype?” with 8 questions, and a ton of other features to help you feel closer, explore your desires, communicate, and play together. It also has sections with practices hand-picked for you, options to set up daily tasks and habits to track (with associated rewards and consequences), tons of activities, courses, quizzes, and games that help you build anticipation, knowledge, and deeper connection. It is truly a huge, immersive resource that any kink-minded couple would find a practical use for. Creating an account is free, with a premium option that unlocks more features (more on those later), but you can tap Continue for a free account to explore the app and get its core features.
Exploring BeMoreKinky
BeMoreKinky have five core sections in the app: Explore, Play, Partner, Workshop, and Profile. Explore is home base. It has filters to set the mood for the day’s exploration (For you, Feel closer, Explore desires, Communicate, and more) and a section with easy next steps customized for you. Mine suggested rating a few Romance ideas as “a good first step” and setting up my first habit.
Activities are then handpicked, pulling from collections tagged Dom or Sub, which can always be explored in full at your leisure. Mine included Anticipation and Bondage for Beginners categories to try first, which held over 30 activities between them. Rate activities to refine your suggestions: You can filter by Sensation Play, Femdom, Soft Dom, and other categories, or tap Surprise Us for an unpredictable mix. The range is wide, from temperature and chastity play concepts, to a 73-question Aftercare Needs Profile, and options that span physical, mental, and emotional sides of kink. Custom activities lets you add your own, and you can easily sort the whole library by type: quick mini quizzes on all typ es of kinks, full 50-question play-style profiles, and themed categories, each with dozens of activities to explore.
Rating works like swiping on a dating app: yes, no, and maybe options. Your partner rates on their own phone, and your answers stay sealed until you’ve both finished. Then the app shows where you overlap. The more you rate, the sharper its Smart Recommendations get. For quicker customization, your daily choice serves up a Would You Rather comparing two activities, and refining your selected experiences to come. Heads up for free users: most collections carry a Premium tag, so the Free filter is the quickest way to see what’s open to you.
Guided Practices
Explore also holds self-paced guided practices, each with audio walkthroughs, breathing cues, and streak tracking. One of the options recommended to me was Sensate Focus, based on Masters and Johnson’s sensate focus exercises. It’s built to “reduce pressure, increase presence, and rebuild connection” through mindful sensation, expanding on five stages: Exploratory Touch, Expanded Touch, Enhanced Sensation, Mutual Touch, and finally Sensual Intercourse. Each stage unlocks after one session of the stage before it, and repeating earlier stages is encouraged.
Another recommended to me, Learning to Touch, is inspired by Dr. Betty Martin’s Wheel of Consent and maps touch into four quadrants: Take (you touch yourself), Serve (you touch, they ask), Accept (they touch you, you ask), and Allow (they touch, you give if you consent). This guided experience is set up as a partner game: you take turns asking two questions, with 3 minutes of touch each, and notice who the touch is really for. Solo options include guided to discover your own pleasure patterns and self-touch, with a guided exercise in slowing down. All courses credit their sources to experts in the field, whose sexuality research inspired the guides.
Playing Together: Play and Workshop Tabs
Play is the app’s “intimate connection center,” where desires turn into plans. You can build a proposal to send to your partner, complete with the details you want to explore: Pick a day, choose your activities, and add gear from your Toy Box and a note if you like. Everything is private until you send, and once sent, your partner’s proposals land under For you. Your Play Library keeps your drafts, past sessions, history, and reusable templates. Free accounts get 3 plans every 30 days, and drafts don’t count toward that limit. Workshop is “your shared space” for games, tools, and deeper learning. It opens on The Path, a guided board game for exploring together, built for 2 players to indulge over 30 to 60 minutes (you can pause anytime). With Tonight’s Kit, you can suggest up to ten items from your Toy Box to bring into the game.
The Habit Tracker is my favorite tool, pitched as a way to “turn discipline into a game you both want to play.” My inner sub loves strict rules with consequences, and always a good reward. This simple, structured tracker turns ongoing power-play into an easy-to-track and easy-to-reward or punish system. You can set habits or challenges for your partner, or complete the ones they set. Every habit has to be accepted before it starts, and you can send a counter-offer if you’d like to tweak one. Completed habits earn points, which you spend on rewards you create for each other, and punishments get their own tab. You can send gentle (or not so gentle) nudges, edit a habit to “up the stakes, and turn on Vacation Mode to freeze your streaks without resetting them. Free accounts get 12 active habit slots, plenty to be held accountable to. The journal compliments this well. It’s a private space for daily check-ins and emotion tracking, with reflection prompts like “What helped your body relax today, if anything?”
For play, there’s Truth or Dare (together or solo, with your boundaries built in), Spin the Wheel (load it with rewards and punishments, then let the wheel decide), and Toy Box, where you mark gear as owned, wanted, or unsuited for you, and browse your partner’s list. The AI Scene Builder turns activities you’ve both rated into short scene stories and partner messages, with four content types, five intensity levels, and ten tones. Finally, the Learning Hub adds 300+ practical guides, to explore nearly any concept you could imagine. From Shibari lessons to communication practice, you’re well-equipped for whatever you have in mind.
Privacy and Encrypted Chat
Privacy matters a lot in an app that holds a list of your fantasies. BeMoreKinky’s chat uses Double protocol, the same encryption the Signal app uses. Every message gets its own key, which is thrown away after sending. Messages are encrypted on your phone before they leave, and the company says its servers store only scrambled text they can’t decrypt, even if compelled to. Messages you send offline go out automatically once you reconnect, and encrypted backup carries your chats over if you get a new phone. With Premium, you can share photos that stay hidden until your partner chooses to reveal them. On the data side, BeMoreKinky has a Zero Data Selling policy. It doesn’t collect intimate photos or videos, location, real names, contacts, or financial info. Your encryption keys stay on your device (in the iOS Keychain or Android Keystore), and you can export all your data or delete your account at any time.
Overall
BeMoreKinky packs a lot into one app. The rate-and-compare feature takes the pressure off the hardest part: saying what you want first. Around that core, you get guided courses, habits with real rewards and punishments, custom-rewarded games, and a huge, immersive library of resources and activities that any kink-minded couple can put to practical use.
If you’re curious about kink but haven’t figured out how to bring it up, or you’d rather answer privately before saying anything out loud, the matching system is built for you. If the mental and emotional side of kink draws you in, the onboarding questions and Habits tools give rules, protocol, and anticipation a solid structure. And if you like guidance, the courses give you step-by-step ways to try things like sensate focus together. Needless to say, my subby side is sure to be endlessly satisfied.
Download BeMoreKinky
BeMoreKinky is available on iOS and Android, and creating an account is free. The free version includes the basic features. Premium unlocks the full activity catalog, every quiz and assessment, all the Truth or Dare decks, and unlimited chat plus every game. Premium costs $8.99 a month or $34.99 a year, which works out to $2.92 a month. The annual plan covers both of you once your accounts are connected. If you change your mind, you can ask Apple for a refund within 30 days.
