In life, romantic relationships come and go – and with breakups come the oh-so-common milestones of someone who has been freshly broken up with. Here are just a few common milestones you might face the next time you find yourself alone.
1. Binge eating or television watching
Zoning out is all part of numbing the emotional pain – I ate bowlfuls of savory biscuits and far too many ice-cream cones. I’m ashamed to say that my fitness plans went out the window for the few weeks I spent wallowing. There is something so undeniably soothing about the combination of watching your favorite guilty pleasure shows back-to-back while pigging out. Pizza and alcohol-fueled nights with your friends is almost compulsory.
2. The emotional roller coaster ride
It’s normal to have mixed feelings. Perhaps you’ll be angry and want revenge; you might cry yourself to sleep some nights. Other times, you’ll just be glad that it’s over. Just know that these roller-coaster feelings won’t last forever – it will get easier and feel less intense as time passes.
Book yourself in for some talk therapy with a specialist or over coffee with a good friend. Alternatively, get out your journal or some paper and write everything down. But promise me you’ll destroy it – you don’t want to reread that sh*t. Like ever.
3. Drastic haircut
I’ve absolutely been there and done the regrettable chop – once, I got a really short pixie haircut and hated it. I immediately started to grow my hair back out. Another time, I went for streaks which also took forever to get rid of the evidence. Please learn from my lessons and keep the hair changes to chalk rinses and semi-permanent hair dye. Step away from the glitter and scissors.
4. Makeup sex
Remember how good makeup sex is? Well, after you break up it’s not nearly as good. There’s so much uncertainty you might not enjoy the bedroom experience fully. You’ll be filled with questions about the status between the two of you instead of objectively enjoying the sex – are you getting back together? Are you not? It’s not worth the emotional turmoil.
5. Back in the saddle sex
As the ever-so-popular phrase goes, to get over someone you must get under someone else. At some point, you will most likely want to have sex with a new person. It might be weird, it might be wonderful, who knows. Just get back out there and take that risk – with protection, of course.
6. Revenge makeover
Maybe you got dumped for a younger model or another person, so you are plagued by thoughts of what’s she got that you don’t have. You might plan to overhaul your wardrobe, spoil yourself with a shopping spree or start a mega diet and fitness regime. Maybe this is the motivation you need to get started and that’s OK. Just make sure you haven’t set yourself up for failure with unrealistic goals and deadlines.
7. Book a solo holiday
Whenever I get dumped, I like to plan a solo holiday for six months’ time. I went to the Australian Open by myself and stayed in a room the size of a cupboard – but boy was the trip worth it. I saw many of the world’s top tennis players. Traveling by yourself in a different city is incredibly liberating. You don’t need to worry about what anyone thinks because you don’t live there. Booking and saving for a holiday is a nice way to say you’re worth it and you’re going to get through this.
Breakups are part of the learning curve to work out who we are and who we want to spend our lives with.