A set of beliefs and promises – to ourselves, each other, and the world.
Sex is Natural
I recognize that sexuality is a normal, natural, and enjoyable part of life that exists on a spectrum. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having and loving sex, or not wanting to have sex at all. Having sex does not make me impure, immoral, or improper – and choosing not to have sex doesn’t diminish me either. It simply makes me someone who has sex, or happens not to.
I Am Open
I will feel free to discuss sex, sexuality, and my preferences openly, honestly, and without shame. Talking about sex is the first step to having safe, pleasurable sex. I will express myself, my needs, my desires, and my boundaries. Also, my pleasure is important. I will advocate for myself and my pleasure, and know that I am worthy of it.
I Have Self Esteem
I am a sexual being, but I am not defined by my sexuality. My self-love and self-worth come from within, and exist separately yet blissfully in tune with my sexual expression. No one can take my value away from me, or define my worth for me, based on my sexuality or otherwise. I am aligning with my truth and my sexual essence. I can rely on myself for love and validation, and feel secure knowing I am living my authentic truth.
I Have Respect
I respect myself, and I know I deserve to be treated with respect. Nothing about me or my sexuality diminishes my self-respect, or makes me any less worthy. I do not deserve anyone to disrespect, push, demean, pressure, or bully me or my boundaries – regardless of my sexual choices. I will do my best to advocate for myself whenever I am able to, knowing that sometimes I may not be able to, and being compassionate with myself in those moments. I will check in with myself to make sure my choices are intentional, aligned with my values and beliefs, and reflect my desires and goals.
I Practice Self Care
I will take the time to recover and heal when I am hurt, and will seek out help and support when I need it.
I Am Safe
I make an effort to be safe and informed. I recognize the risks associated with the types of sex I have, and take steps to protect myself and my partners. I research birth control and STI prevention methods, and decide on the right choice for me, whether that’s contraceptives or being aware of fertility signs and using careful tracking if relevant to my sex life. I use my best discretion to decide what is right for me and my body. I consciously decide when to use barrier methods to reduce the risk of STIs, HPV, and HIV – or when to take preventative medications. I choose how regularly to get tested based on my sexual activities, and ensure that my partners and I are practicing open communication and safer sex practices.
I Have Choice
I am in control of my partner choice and sexual expression. My body is mine to use however I choose. It is my choice when, where, how, and with whom I will have sex. My body is my temple. I can choose to make it a hedonistic one.
I Am Righteous
I will speak up in the face of sexism, racism, homophobia, and all injustice. I will stand up for myself when I am wronged. I will not be held to double standards, shame, or judgement. I believe that those who enjoy sex should not be labeled, insulted, embarrassed, or degraded. I will not engage in slut shaming, and instead, will stand up against it. I recognize the need for change, and will stand up for women’s rights and equality for all. I will speak up against rape, sexual assault, and other forms of violence against women. I will demand that my voice is heard.
I Love My Body
I recognize that every body is beautiful, and celebrate all shapes, sizes, colors, and other physical attributes. I will strive to love and honor my body, and the bodies of those around me.
I Embrace Life
I will live life to the fullest, learn from my mistakes, and look back without regrets.
I really appreciate you, and I applaud everything that you just said.
I find this absolutely empowering. I’m one who struggles with social norms disturbing the peace of my active sexual nature. I am currently studying the sociology of sex and gender and it has really brought into the light the role that sexual women play in todays society, seen as shameful and dirty, rather than curious, loving, and expressive. This specific article could really be helpful for young women who question their own sexual habits, but are too afraid to ask any questions. Kudos on taking a huge role in leading the women of the world to learn to love themselves and share it with others! I can’t think of anything more fulfilling! Keep up the inspiring work!
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Thank you so much for making a difference, just because i love sex it doesn’t mean i don’t love myself!!!!!!
I love this manifesto and hope young women can internalize an see themselves through these awesome and empowering precepts.
I love your positive attitude to sex, especially in encouraging women to own their sexuality and be confident enough to ask for what they want. A breath of fresh air!
Great article Lorrae, I realised hard way that self care is the most important promise I need to keep myself. Without self care we are doomed in both business and love. Thanks for sharing and keep up the good work. Amy
Compliments!
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I subscribe to each paragraph of this manifesto!
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