Dating a former slut is not an easy task. Whether your sexual interests are male or female, you’re signing up for a whirlwind of past Facebook posts and Instagram pictures you wish didn’t exist. You’ve prepared yourself for late nights of Facebook stalking, waiting to proclaim “I’m hotter than her” to your best friends who will vigorously nod their heads and glare at the girl on the screen. You’ve spend hours mentally preparing what to do or say if you ever see these girls in person. Your stress levels hit an all time high when they might be within a twenty mile radius. But honestly, what’s the point?

1. Keep the Past in the Past

The trick to dating a former slut is to let the jealousy go. The most important thing to remember is you’re dating a former slut, not a current slut. Those dozens of one night stands meant absolutely nothing romantic to your partner, and spending months researching every girl that they spent a night with just isn’t going to do anything but lower your self confidence and cause issues within the relationship. Instead of allowing the agony of comparing yourself to every other girl, just leave social media alone. Close your laptop when you feel like you want to see what girls A-Z are up to now. Force yourself to stay away from searching Instagram to screenshot pictures of your partner’s past. Don’t let your friends send you pictures of your partner from ten months ago. Find a better outlet, like binge watching Netflix or going on a long walk. Leave the past in the past, it’ll make your life a lot less stressful and your self-worth soar.

2. Talk to Your Partner

If it really upsets you, communicate with your partner. Decide a good time to have a conversation and expect that, realistically, some things they say you might not want to hear. The best thing you can do is be honest about how you feel and let them be honest with you. Have a sit-down conversation with your partner, and explain to them what your worries and insecurities are. Discuss how their past affects you, and hear them out. Most likely it will be a healthy conversation of reassurance that you are who they want to be with. And yes, it’s always nice to have them gush about how much more perfect you are than anyone else in their past.

Starting the conversation can be stressful, but once you get going it becomes easier. Just remember to stay level headed, and hear them out. Don’t jump to conclusions or make assumptions because they had a picture taken with someone else. It could be as simple as that – it’s just a picture. Don’t ask for the dirty details of every past sexual encounter either. Understand that vagueness is honestly for the best in these situations. The best approach is to be rational, understanding, and open minded. As soon as the conversation ends, forget about the past and focus on the now.

3. Enjoy the Benefits

Start to focus on the positives in the relationship. The best part about dating a former slut is you’re going to have some of the best sex of your life. If your partner has had many different sexual encounters, they’ve learned how to please many different people. Which means you just signed up for some of the most intense, back bending orgasms of your life. Enjoy the sexual experiences they have to offer and be experimental. Just because they’ve done it before doesn’t mean it’s going to be the same experience when they do it with you. Plus, you never know, maybe you could learn a tip or two.

There’s nothing scary about dating a former slut. As long as you keep your self confidence up, keep your laptop closed, and communicate when something is bothering you, this issue will be a thing of the past!