You’re standing there looking at someone you thought was the love of your life and your eyes fill with tears because the betrayal is so deep. When will it end? When will this break in your heart stop bleeding?
Stop right there. This is a feeling we’ve all felt, and to put it bluntly, it fucking sucks. Breakups are messy, there’s no doubt about it. And when there’s lying, cheating, or he’s having sex with one of your (now ex) friends, it can literally feel like you’re dying. And not to get all morbid, but you might actually want to. I know I’ve been there, and it’s not pretty.
We’re not going to dwell in this sad and sappy nonsense. Ladies, this is the guide on how to get your groove back: how to bounce back from being made a fool, pick yourself up, and stare this breakup right in the eye and say “you hit like a bitch”.
Step 1: You’ve Got to Grieve
If you don’t grieve, it makes it a thousand times worse. You can’t just hold that shit in. It’s poison and you’ve got to get it out and not let it fester inside of you. Because eventually, you will vomit it out. Or react in a violent way (and violence is never the answer). The fact is, you’re hurt, don’t hide it. You’re damaged and broken… and why wouldn’t you be? Clearly, this person meant something to you. They have a piece of you that they just smashed with their oversized feet, and you’re just kind of standing there like “WTF”.
It’s okay to cry, scream and break stuff. Girl, if you need to go to the dollar store and buy a hundred light bulbs and smash them in an empty parking lot while screaming at the top of your lungs, you do it! If you need to lock yourself in your room, listen to Taylor Swift, jump up and down, and punch your pillow while crying from the very depth of your soul you fucking do it! Don’t listen to anyone when they tell you how long you should grieve. You do whatever you have to do to get out all that pain and poison so you can recover.
Step 2: Pull Yourself Together
No, but seriously, pull yourself together woman! As the cliché goes, pour yourself a glass of wine, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together. You can’t just let them win! They want you in the fetal position, giving up – but you will not give them that pleasure. After you have grieved for a day or twelve (who’s counting?) you’ve really got to pick yourself up. I’m not saying you have to be okay, but you at least have to know you will be, and that’s a start.
Look around you and see your support system. Friends, family, your best friend who posted on that bitch’s Facebook page and wrote what a shitty person she was. These are people who love and care about you. They’ve seen you go through hell and back, and they’re still here in your corner rooting for you to pick yourself up and continue on the good fight. If you give up now, you’re not only giving up on yourself but them as well. Everyone wants to see you rise from the ashes like the badass phoenix you really are.
Step 3: Forgiveness and “Revenge”
The third and final step is the best. It’s a combination of forgiveness and revenge. The forgiveness is not for them. Screw that! But forgiveness for you. Forgive yourself for all that you told yourself. All the damage you did, or the pieces you hid trying to please someone else. Look in the mirror and say, “Hey, I’m sorry I lost myself for a bit, but I am back now and I will be okay,” because it’s true.
The revenge part kicks in because after you’ve grieved and gathered yourself, there’s nothing left to do but exact your revenge in the best way possible. By being the baddest bitch ever! Think about all you gave up that is now open to you! Do you want to cut your hair? Do it! Apply for grad school? You go do that shit! Move to California to officially kick off your career? You go girl (*snap*). There is no one to hold you back now, screw anyone who tells you otherwise. You’re a rising star that no longer has this weight to hold you back. No longer are you shackled to one place because of “love”. You get to hold your head up, look great, and move on with life. And really, that’s the best revenge you could ever have.
Small people will always be petty and small, and they’ll still be petty and small while you’re happy and succeeding in life. To quote the all-knowing Taylor Swift or as I like to call her: “T-swizzle”, “Someday I’ll be living in a big ol’ city and all you’re ever gonna be is mean. Someday I’ll be big enough so you can’t hit me and all you’re ever gonna be is mean.” Don’t let anyone make you feel less than you are, because you’re a fucking diamond baby.