As freshmen, most of us are not old enough to legally drink, and most dorms have a strict “no alcohol” policy. Whether it’s enforced or not is a different matter entirely, but nevertheless, the “rules” are intact. Yet, nearly all freshmen drink. It’s one of the highlights of college! Hiding your liquor is essential to the freshman college experience – so that you don’t get written up and can continue partying care-free. Here are some good tactics on how to hide your stash, and ensure your RA won’t write you up for being stupid.
Prep for Partying
Get a funnel! You need a funnel for most of these hiding tricks to work. It’s no fun trying to fashion a funnel out of tin foil, and it may result in you spilling rum everywhere. You can get a super cheap one at the dollar store, or a cool collapsible one at most kitchen stores or online.
For Clear Alcohol – The Listerine Method
What you will need:
- Clear alcohol
- Blue listerine
- Food coloring
Empty the Listerine bottle into the sink, or if you want to be thrifty, you can empty it into another container to save it (and therefore, save money). I would suggest rinsing the bottle a couple of times after it’s empty. Water and maybe dish soap will do the trick. Then, add three drops of blue food coloring and one drop of green. Fill it with vodka, put the lid on, and shake! While this trick may be widespread on the internet, your RA is probably not suspicious enough to go around sniffing people’s mouthwash. Keep it on or under your sink, or wherever else you keep your toiletries. Just make sure your roommate knows if you share things (and maybe if you don’t, too. I can’t say I never water-falled some of my ex roommies mouthwash!)
The Classic Water Bottle
What you will need:
- Clear alcohol
- Water Bottle
This trick is old as time itself, but it works if you know what you’re doing. If you leave an obviously tampered-with water bottle on your desk or hide it in your closet, this could be suspicious. But if you do it right, it works every time. I reccomend getting a pack of water bottles. They sell them super cheap at any drug or grocery store, and usually come in packs of 20-30. Take them home, unwrap or cut off just the top of the plastic, and you’ll have access to all the bottles while they’re still held together. Then pick the bottles you’re going to dump out (or drink to save money). Use the funnel and fill with them alcohol!
How will you remember which ones are water and which are vodka? Don’t get your thong in a bunch, I got you! It would be quite obvious if you were to mark the caps, so, pick your favorite number. Then, count in your water pack and place the bottles at these numbers. For example mine are four, six, and fifteen so I would count (left to right) where the fourth, sixth, and fifteenth bottles are, and replace them with the alcohol bottles. Hooray! Now, feel clever and economic.
For Dark Alcohol
This is the same process of above, and it’s even more important that you keep it in a pack. Follow the same steps as you would for a water bottle, except leave some coke in the bottle for coloration. That way, it’s the right color AND it’s mixed and ready to go.
They make some crazy gadgets for hiding alcohol, which are usually used for sneaking it into events but, could be useful in dorms too. Here are links and pictures of some of my favorites! They’re listed by price – low to high.
Sunscreen Flask – Flexible and not suspicious
Amazon – 9.99 for a two pack
Tampon Flasks – Overpriced but super useful!
Amazon – $10.07 for a 5-pack
Binoculars – Bulky but hold a lot of booze!
Amazon- 14.99 for one pair
Hairbrush Flask – Functionality and a flask all in one!
Amazon – 25.49 for one
The Wine Rack – Wine and bigger boobs? Win!
Amazon 29.99 for one
Not feeling creative?
If going through the hassle of deftly hiding your alcohol is too much to handle, you might just be better off finding a fab place to stash it. Here are some spots I’ve hidden big bottles:
- In my underwear drawer
- In my dirty laundry basket
- In the bottom of my sink
- At the very very back of my storage space, behind everything with things stacked on top.
In my experience, RA’s won’t go through your stuff unless they’re suspicious, you get busted, or if you’re blatantly being dumb… but I can’t guarantee that. Feel out your own situation and then decide how sneaky you need to be. If your RA seems particularly snoopy – or you have a roommate who will not hesitate to rat you out when you get in a fight – you’ll be better off hiding it thoroughly, or even storing it at a trustworthy friend’s place.