I first started developing breasts when I was eleven. Purchasing my first training bras, complete with matching underwear, was an adventure that left me dreaming of the set of impressive, if not average, boobs I would no doubt grow by my teenage years. However, soon middle school rolled around, and then high school, and the only reason I wasn’t wearing the training bras anymore was out of a sense of dignity. On to the AAs I went.

Side note – what are we training for when we wear training bras?

By the time I reached college, most of my bras were A cups with a 32-inch band. I was tall and thin, but not model-skinny, and I was definitely a little insecure about the way I looked. My friends, all different shapes and sizes, definitely all had, and still have, way bigger boobs than I did and often complained about their #BigBoobProblems. When I visited the dorms of guy friends, there were often posters of women in bikinis showing off full, albeit photoshopped, DD cups. I felt left out, insecure, and undesirable.

Now in my mid-twenties, I still possess a pair of A cups. I like to tell people that they’ve grown recently, by which I mean I now use the last hook on my 32s and fill out the comfy 34s I wear to work. (I even bought a sports bra that’s a B cup from Victoria’s Secret. #BigBoobProblem ladies, I finally knew your pain when I realized they did not sell my cup size in that specific bra.) Sure, there are still times I feel insecure about my looks, whether I’m having a bad hair day, need to buy some zit cream, or just don’t fill out a shirt the right way. But for the most part I’ve come to embrace my mosquito bites, my tiny tatas, by itty bitty titties. And if you suffer from the same plight  enjoy a breast size similar to mine, you should too! Here’s how.

Own it

So you have small tits. Is there a way to change that? Well, technically, yes. But maybe you can’t afford or don’t choose to take the surgical route. If you’re anything like me, it’s likely you’ve tried some work out routines to enlarge your pecs in hopes that your breasts will come along for the ride. Whether that works out for you or not, for the time being, at least, you are officially a member of tiny tit club. So welcome! Grab a refreshment of your choice and stay awhile, and feel free to question why your bras cost as much as the D cups even though they have way less material.

Find your inner sexy

Due to my build, I spent so many years of my life feeling awkward and unattractive. I barely flirted with guys, I always dressed so that my boobs weren’t on display, and I tried really hard to keep hook-ups from noticing my bra was padded. It wasn’t until I met a great guy who loved me and every inch of my body that I realized I was sexy in my own unique ways and that my tiny tatas were a part of this.

But you don’t need a man to lavish attention on the girls to find your inner sexy. Your inner sexy can be found when Beyoncé comes on and you run to the dance floor, losing yourself and not caring what anyone thinks of you or your gyrations. Your inner sexy is that part of you that comes out when you’re reading your favorite erotic novel in bed. Your inner sexy is that girl who stares back at you in the mirror when you get your eyeliner just right.

Find your inner sexy. Embrace your inner sexy. And when you’re at your most insecure, remember that that girl always exists deep down inside.

Wear what you want to wear

In high school, some of my favorite articles in Seventeen were the ones telling me which bathing suits would hide my small chest and which prom gowns would gloss over the fact that I possessed absolutely zero curves. I’ve graduated to Cosmo and Glamour since then, and yeah, I still enjoy reading how to “dress for my body”. However, that doesn’t mean that I dress to hide my flaws.

My number one piece of advice on how to dress for your small bustline is: DRESS HOWEVER YOU WANT. Channel your inner Lupita Nyong’o, goddess of beautiful baby bee stings.

Lupita rocks any neckline. She doesn’t let her A cups get in the way of wearing whatever gorgeous designer gown she wants. And while you might never got the opportunity to hit up the Oscars, let alone win one, no matter your size or shape, take inspiration from Miss Nyong’o and wear what makes you feel most beautiful.

On that same note, don’t feel like rocking your na-nas means you can’t enjoy the benefits of modern undergarments. There are so many different options for bras that add extra cup sizes including the Victoria’s Secret Bombshell bra and Aerie’s Drew. I own and adore both bras. While I love my fun-size funbags, that doesn’t mean I enjoy not filling out the large shirts that I’m forced to buy due to my torso length. If you want to create the illusion of bigger breasts with your bras or by any other mean, that’s your body and your choice. Go for it!

Accept & embrace your insecurities

Swimsuit season, sex with your new man – there will always be times when the shirt comes off and someone lays eyes on the tiny twins for the first time. Even if you’ve come to accept and love every inch of your body, there will be nights when you remember the first kid who ever felt you up and the disappointed frown you felt upon your lips when he realized you didn’t even have a handful. Relax. Take a deep breath.  Insecurities will always exist in every area of your life. You can’t let them get in the way of a good time, whether it’s a dip in the pool with friends or sex with a new partner.

Only have sex with people you feel sexy with

That being said, there is absolutely no point in knocking boots with someone who doesn’t make you feel hot. Your partner should absolutely never make you feel crappy about the way you look, no matter your size or shape, no matter whether or not you are capable of changing it or want to change it. Your body is your business, and during sex, both participants should get pleasure out of it.

Yes, there have been times when men fuckboys have taken off my push-up and frowned or even accused me of lying. Older, wiser me wishes I had pulled my bra back on and deleted their numbers. In my mid-twenties, my rule about hook-ups in regards to my breasts is that if they don’t have anything nice to say – well, let’s just say they better have something nice to say.

On that same note, if you think all guys are into tig ol’ bitties, you’re wrong. Plenty of guys love small boobs or don’t really care about boob size at all. From my experience, the overwhelming majority of boys don’t care about the details of your breasts. They’re just happy when they get to see them.

Don’t allow people to body shame you

If you’re dealing with adults, they’re hugely immature if they’re calling you out on your tiny tits. Still, it’s hard to scroll down your Twitter timeline without seeing a post about what’s “sexy” and what’s “not”. The truth of the matter is, if your body is healthy, it’s your body, and all other opinions aren’t relevant.

I’m not going to lie. I’m jealous of the Double Ds that most of my best friends possess. That being said, I’m sure a lot of my friends are jealous that I really don’t have a problem controlling my weight. That doesn’t mean that we jab at one another or call one another names, and we also respect one another and other women by refraining from doing the same behind other people’s backs.

My reaction when someone says, “Real women have curves.”

Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about any decisions regarding your body

Of course, when talking about small breasts and the insecurities that come with them, there’s always the topic of the boob job. Breast enlargement is a perfectly safe procedure that a woman might choose to undergo. If getting a boob job is your dream, my only word of advice for you is, go for it – and don’t let anyone make you feel less natural or sexy in the process.

The benefits of small boobs are many – less back pain, better posture, generally being able to find bras in your size, and one sports bra doing the trick, to name just a few. Whether you’re insecure about your chest size or don’t have a problem with your not-so-huge hooters, remember: Love yourself. Love your body. Love your boobs. Oh, and stay slutty.