I embrace the term slut. It’s just another way to say I’m a sex positive woman. I’ve been called a whore. I guess that’s how some folks see you when you move through the world having sex with who you want to have sex with… Heaven help me (she said with an evil glint).
“I want to live in a world where the term slut doesn’t make sense as an insult”, to quote the UnSlut Project, a wonderful initiative to minimize the effects of slut shaming and promote the sex positive movement. (Check out their site. It’s phenomenal.) Sex positive means you aren’t ashamed of your sexuality. You embrace exploring what makes you feel good and you go get it.
I wasn’t always this honest when it came to sex. I had a bit of a Jekyll and Hyde characterization – totally contradictory. A working professional on the outside, a raunchy girl with a few skeletons in the closet on the inside. My partner could relate to both sides of me, funnily enough. He’s a bit of a slut too, so it works for us. I digress… Anyway, the world saw mostly the professional. The slutty girl went unnoticed until I was, for lack of a better term, exposed for being a fraud. The culprit? A best friend, who clearly was not about sex positive relationships. She told anyone who would listen that I was a whore and former stripper. That kind of rocked my world for a bit. Defragmented me.
It was a good thing. I was free to become less of a middle class white chick and more of a sex positive slut. One doesn’t always get those opportunities thrown in their face. It wasn’t a gradual undressing like in a high class club; it was a down and dirty grind in a back room somewhere… “Hey world, I’m a former stripper and present day psychotherapist!” Shout it from the mountaintops, tell anyone who would dare listen, including my family.
After spending multiple years in graduate school to individuate myself from the woman I was in my early twenties, one that I initially saw as flawed and undone, I was, at 34, forced to look in the mirror once more and process what it all meant. What is it about women putting other women down? I’ve heard it said that most of the genital mutilation in the world is perpetuated by women… That’s far worse than petty name calling… How is my story unique? It’s not. Far from it. Historical forces and anti sex positive social norms are invested in keeping women down.
I can say, today, that I was fortunate to have The Big Reveal take place. I suspect that I will thank that chick for forcing it upon me. I don’t think I would have done it myself. I think I would have continued to write quietly in my journal and not publish. I would have kept my mouth shut and not shared publicly. I would have stayed in my suburban hole drinking lattes and wearing yoga pants. Now I’m still drinking lattes and wearing yoga pants, but doing so in a sex positiveway. It’s how I feel on the inside about my vulva. We’re cool with one another.
By the way… you have the power to embrace being a sex positive slut on your own terms. Whoever you are, whatever you want, you should be able to live proudly and confidently. Our online course Subvert Your Subconscious, by our founder Lorrae Jo,teaches you how to let go of shame and remove subconscious blocks that are holding you back from fully embracing your most empowered self, sexually, romantically, and in every aspect of your life. Join us to create the sex and love life that you really desire.
It’s kind of funny, because I wasn’t born a sex positive boat rocker. I was born scared.
The first person to call me a slut was my mother. I think I was about ten at the time. I had been doing some stuff sexually, but it was before the advent of boundaries for me and I didn’t feel guilt or shame initially. She gave that to me. I didn’t arrive in this world with it. Calling me a slut was a highly developed way of telling me to keep my mouth shut. She never wanted me to go public with my history and all that came with it – the stripping, the sugar babying, the sex at a despairingly young age.
It was hard for me to reclaim the word slut at first. My mouth didn’t want to say it. Now, it’s on. I’m moving beyond the mindset where I perceive sex as something naughty… (Unless that’s your thing, then, by all means, go right ahead!)
It’s important for us to view women-identifying people in the same light that we see most male-identifying folx… as individuated and capable of choosing their partners and keeping themselves safe. I am not a child, I’m a grown sex positive slutty woman, and I’m entitled to my bravery. Don’t strip me of my bravery just because you’re afraid of a sex positive woman.
We don’t need to play the nice card anymore. We don’t need to sit with our hands folded in our laps. We don’t need to be Girl Scouts or choir girls to save face.
Let’s call a spade a spade.
LOVE THIS
I embrace the word slut too. I take it as a compliment 😉
It should finally stop being an insult. As women, we should be free to do what we want with our bodies!
I appreciate your honesty in sharing your personal, inspiring story…
It’s hard to make the word “slut” socially more common. But hey, the future will be different.
My wife is very much a slut (in the positive sense of the word), but finds it near impossible to separate the negative social context of the word from the sex positive context. I love that she is who and what she is, and would love it if she could find a way to feel good about the word so that she could be free to use the word. Hopefully websites like this will help her do so.
Unfortunately, there are few words that properly describe a slut (again, the positive context) without using the word slut…
Thanks for your story, and this site – I hope it helps her in her journey to fully accept herself and her desires.
If you are slut, then so be it. I think it is just kinda hot. You are just simply hot not slut.
I just came across this website and want to give you a standing ovation. I wish more women would get comfortable enough to accept themselves in a positive manner sexually and be able to happily call themselves a slut if they desired. Unfortunately too many men need reeducation on how to behave properly towards a sexually positive woman and rude comments and attacks on self esteem make this a difficult path to walk.
I am a man slut. I hope I can find the perfect slut for me to marry someday. I hope your website finds it way to any young lady feeling down on herself for feeling the way she feels and having the desires she has. No one should ever be made to feel bad for doing something they enjoy that makes them happy. I wish I could help push this idea and concept out to more people.
I embrace the word slut. So glad you wrote this to put a positive light towards it. I am a male and married and my hubby knows I fantasize about being a slut, and we love the head space.
I love being a woman and a love being a slut! Thank you for helping me to identify positively with this!!?
This blog is very informative for me and also helpful for me to know about sex toys.
Why do you even consider the word slut as something to be redefined/reclaimed, if you’re not in some way living it – if you’re not actually rejecting such (unnatural, repellent) notions as the desirability of a monogamous sexual relationship and sex as “lovemaking” ?
Just beautiful. This is very interesting. I really enjoyed the story.
A self-professed slut is a goodness in the world. I get it on with SLUTTYGIRL every chance I have…we each prefer giving to receiving, but enjoy both. Love the happy sounds we can cause.
I regain my confident. Thanks for sharing the informative article.
Loved this. You have such a great way with words. Thanks for sharing!
Absolutely sizzling! So, so sexy!!!
thanks for sharing this type of lovable staff
Aww, thank you!
THE CONTENT IS JUST AWESOME.THANK YOU FOR SHARING IT WITH US.
I hope one day every girl become slut, world will be heaven for boys
Loved this. You have such a great way with words. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for posting. I really enjoy the post. Carry On…
THE CONTENT IS JUST AWESOME.THANK YOU FOR SHARING IT WITH US.
Like!! Thank you for publishing this awesome article.
Hey sweetie! This content is too awesome.Thanks for sharing
Absolutely sizzling! So, so sexy!!!
This Blog is very important for me there is many information about sex .
Thank you. I had fun with this.
And I know you don’t mind. That’s what’s so good.
Just wow…
Like!! Thank you for publishing this awesome article.
Thanks for this Article on that perticular Subject
Thanks for the nice article on that subject
So very inspiring!!! I’m on the edge as well!
Thank you. I had fun with this
Hey sweetie! This content is too awesome.Thanks for sharing
lovable stuff
Great post. Very hot. Wonderfully written.
Thank you. I had fun with this.
Keeping your naughty desires unaffected in difficult times is so challenging.
You can do it easily by using some adult toys from Sexarena store.
This content is too awesome.Thanks for sharing. You can buy sex toy from our website.
The content is just awesome. Thankyou for sharing it with us.
Are you looking for enjoyable mature toys? If yes, then it’s time to visit our renowned online store for mature toys
Here you will get various types of adult toys for men, women and couples.
Our unique collection is grabbing the attention of all the grown-ups irrespective of age and gender.
Might be near unthinkable to find well-educated readers on this theme, however you seem like you are familiar with the things you’re revealing! Many Thanks
This is really a very nice blog. Please check my blog on the mentioned link.
Very nice blog. I really like this type of blog. Please keep writing.
Thanks for posting such nice Information. Please go through my blog link, If you are interested in sex toys.