Well, here it is. Another December spent single, another New Year’s Eve with no particular human to smooch. How does this happen time and time again? Is something wrong with you? How is it in a whole city of eligible bachelors not a single one wants to kiss you? Never fear, that’s not true at all. A million boys would kiss you, you just have standards and that’s a good thing. GO YOU.
So even though your inner monologue has done its duty and convinced you time and time again that it’s okay to be single on New Year’s Eve, the moments leading up to midnight often feel like hours that you might not want to spend alone. I like to spend the week before New Year’s assessing my inventory. A New Year’s kiss is something that is terribly important in that particular moment and then never again, which means the chosen person should also be really important for exactly ten seconds and not a second longer.
The FWB
Your first option is a friend with benefits. This person is usually a single gal’s go to, someone you can be yourself around, someone you trust but someone who isn’t going to care if five seconds before someone else crosses your path… this person is probably scanning the crowd for someone else as well because to them, you’re about as appetizing as stale bread unless you’re both drunk as skunks.
The Stranger
A stranger is always a gamble. Will there be anyone appropriate? Will someone who looked great from across the room look like a train wreck up close? Will they think maybe YOU’RE the trainwreck? What is this person wants to talk to you afterwards? Remain in control of the situation and be firm but flexible if you decide to go with the stranger. Do not confuse the in-person stranger with the planned stranger. You do NOT want a first date to be on New Year’s Eve. There’s too much in the air; a lot of booze, fancy dress. There’s some sort of New Year’s Eve magic that might fog your mind, so pump the drunk Tinder brakes and save the left or right swiping for in person once you’ve secured your location.
The BFF
If you’re looking to play it safe, there’s the age old option of your girlfriends. No female will ever leave her friends lips un-kissed on New Year’s Eve, and if you find yourself with a few seconds left, a reassuring peck from your bestie is always the way to go.
The Bartender
Lastly, If you’re looking for a challenge, ladies, I have one last suggestion. Look around you at the staff—there’s a world of bartenders, servers and bouncers who are stuck working on New Year’s Eve. This option is going to take a little more work than your general last minute scan—chat them up throughout the night, overtip (that always gets my attention) and when the countdown approaches, throw caution to the wind and get your lean on. If they’re into it they’ll meet you halfway and then get right back to work afterwards—it’s the ideal New Year’s kiss.
Good luck and godspeed ladies, may your New Year’s Eve be filled with dazzling attire, sparkle and glitter galore, bubbly champagne …and may the odds and your beer goggles be ever in your favor.
