Orgasms for those with vaginas, commonly referred to as female orgasms, are often considered to be elusive and impossible to achieve. But for those with clits, clitoral stimulation is one of the easiest ways to bring your partner to climax, over and over again. Clitoral stimulation is just one technique that I recommend, but it’s often times one of the most powerful. And when done correctly, it can keep your partner coming back for more. To learn more about clitoral orgasm, read on.
The Clitoral Orgasm
The clitoris is a nerve-filled, fleshy nub found at the top of the vulva. It’s usually tucked away in what’s called the clitoral hood, though arousal will cause it to engorge.
But what’s so powerful about it? As mentioned, the clitoris is packed full of nerve endings. In fact, it has more nerves than the head of the penis alone! Stimulation, then, can bring someone to climax in just a matter of minutes. And the clitoral orgasm differs considerably from other types like the g-spot and anal. The clitoral orgasm is intense, and it’s felt on the surface of the body. The g-spot orgasm is deeper, and it’s often described as waves of pulsating pleasure.
If you’re ready to bring your partner to climax by stimulating the clitoris, you’ll want to learn the most effective ways to do so. And here they are:
With Your Tongue
One of the easiest ways to bring your partner to a clitoral climax is by using your tongue. This is because the tongue is able to make minor adjustments to movements and intensity. And while your tongue will play an important part, there are other techniques you can use during your oral session. For example:
And if this is your first time, don’t fret! Just let your partner know you’re a bit nervous (it’s okay, they may be, too) and ask them to guide you. Of course, practice makes perfect. So be sure to experiment and get a feel for what you and your partner enjoy.
Using Your Fingers
You’ve likely been doing it since high school, but fingering is more than just rubbing wildly at the clit until completion. That’s because the clitoris is highly sensitive, and overstimulation can be as much of a turn off as no stimulation at all. So, what should you be doing?
Rubbing is one technique and, when used sparingly, it’s effective at bringing your partner to orgasm over and over.There are other methods of clitoral stimulation using the fingers, though. They are:
- Gentle tugging
And by varying the techniques (and their intensity), you can keep your partner guessing until they finally explode with pleasure. How can you know when to vary techniques, and by how much? By listening to your partner’s cues. Sighs, moans, and whimpers are all good signs. You should also take their movements into account. Are they tensing their muscles, or are they relaxing into you? Have they begun to thrust their hips into your fingers? You can use these signs to know when to change your technique, or when to continue on your current path.
And remember that the screams and yelps you hear during pornography are often faked, or at least an overreaction. You don’t need to have your partner screaming your name with every touch to know that you’re doing it right.
During Vaginal/Anal Sex
Pornography will have you believe that, with just the simple insertion of your penis into their vagina, your partner will be screaming and begging for more. But as I stated above, pornography so often isn’t real. So, what can you do during vaginal and anal sex to leave your partner breathless?
That’s where clitoral stimulation comes in.
Combination orgasms happen when a person’s clit is stimulated during penetration. This may occur during fingering or vaginal/anal sex. By stimulating the clit during penetration, you can bring your partner to an intense and extremely satisfying orgasm. And by using the right techniques, you can do it again and again and again. There are a few ways to stimulate the clitoris during penetration. It will depend on your position, and your partner’s preferences.
The two main ways to do so are by fingering, and with a vibrator. Depending on your position, you can finger your partner by reaching around or between their legs. If your partner is lying on their back, you can even place your fingers on their pubic area (just below the belly button) and use your thumb to tap and rub the clit.
A vibrator can provide you with even more versatility. You can use a vibrating cock ring, which will drive the vibrations through the vaginal walls and to the internal side of the clitoris. Or you can use a standard vibrator and reach around to make contact. You can even use the vibrator to tease your partner (for example, placing just above the clit or on the thighs).
We recommend the We-Vibe Tango as your go-to bullet vibrator.
Do you feel like using the vibrator is an easy way out? Don’t! Vibrators – like many other toys – have their place in the bedroom. And as long as you and your partner are enjoying its use, then set your pride aside and give them the ride of their life.
The techniques above are helpful when it comes to getting your partner to orgasm. However, there are ways to intensify this orgasm so as to give them the greatest sensual experience of their life.
Use Lube (and Lots of It!)
Are you using enough lube? If you even have to ask the question, the answer is “probably not.” Lubrication is one of the easiest ways to intensify the feelings of clitoral stimulation. The vagina naturally lubricates itself when aroused, but the levels of lubrication will vary based on numerous factors. These include time of the month, hydration levels, and hormone balance. So to ensure that you have enough lubrication for your stimulatory needs, it’s best to use artificial lubrication too.
There’s nothing wrong with needing lubrication, and it’s not a sign that your partner is not aroused. In fact, the use of artificial lubrication can remove any performance pressure that you and your partner may feel. The use of lubrication will also ensure that the clitoris doesn’t become dry, which can lead to agitation and painful chafing. So, when in doubt, just add more lube!
Wicked lube is safe to use with toys, too.
So many people enjoy when their partner takes control in the bedroom. What better way to take control than to remove your partner’s ability to use their hands? The clit can be sensitive and, as a result, your partner may interfere with your stimulatory activities. But as long as they are not in pain (and they agree to being handcuffed, of course), removing interference enables you to bring them to the brink more easily. By using arm restraints, you can also stimulate other areas of the body known as erogenous zones. These include the nipples, lower back, and inner thighs.
Get a basic set of silver cuffs here.
While stimulating these zones may not bring your partner to climax, they can contribute to their overall arousal. You can even use your control to tease your partner so that when you finally allow them to orgasm, it will be that much more intense.
Edging is an advanced technique in which you bring your partner to the brink (or edge) of orgasm, and then stop (or slow) your movements so as to keep them waiting. It can be used to intensify the experience, and drive your partner wild. It’s important that you know your partner’s cues though, so as not to overstimulate or allow them to orgasm too soon. But remember to have fun! Sex is supposed to be a recreational activity, so be sure that you don’t take it too seriously!
There isn’t a science to any of this, and you can’t “study” your way to becoming a sex god. The only way to get truly good at it is to experiment with your partner, and do so with no judgement or preconceived notions.
The clit is perhaps the most sensitive part of the female or AFAB body and, as such, those without one often fear its power. But knowing how to stimulate it effectively and with confidence is your key to pleasuring your partner beyond words.
Do you have questions about the information above? Be sure to leave a comment below.