The phrase ‘period sex’ doesn’t necessarily make you want to jump right in the sack with your current partner. There’s a horrible stigma that it’s gross. That it’s weird. That it’s unsanitary. Some people use the argument that women in native cultures used to leave the group during that time to spend some self-reflection time with other women. But, these days, the whole “I feel like shit on my period” seems to reign supreme.
I mean, it totally makes sense. I know I feel like shit on my period. Actually starting the whole bleeding thing is a small prize from feeling like I want to cry about running out of ketchup or angrily glaring at everyone that walks by me. But, in truth period sex is actually not gross. It’s not unsanitary (if you do it right) and it’s actually totally liberating. Plus, the whole built-in lubrication thing is pretty nice (depending on which part of your cycle you’re in, and your feminine hygiene method of choice).
Breaking the Taboo
But before we go into the how, it’s important to address possible partner problems. For years, I thought period sex was not an option, because all of the guys I was with refused to have sex with me when I was on my period. They ALSO expected that because we weren’t having sex for at least a few days, that that whole week I would be giving them free blow jobs just for bleeding. Like, what?!
Looking back on it I realize two things. One – I clearly was not dating men, but boys. Two – They were reaping the benefits of me being in the worst pain of the month because I was bleeding?! Any guy worth your time realizes that your sexual appeal doesn’t go away when you’re bloated and crampy and bleeding. I realized my fiance was a man when he was not only totally cool about things getting a bit messy, but actually seemed even more attracted to me when I was radiating the bleeding hormones.
So, here’s some code: Your guy is “Boy Status” if he refuses to have sex with you on your period, and his status goes down even further if he expects you to give him blow jobs during that time. Your guy is neutral “Guy Status” if he’s not super into period sex but he’s willing to consider it. Your guy is “Man Status” if he’s totally okay with period sex. Maybe is even a bloodhound (i.e. a man whose fetish is period sex).
Curious About It?
First thing’s first… you should only give it a go is you want to have sex on your period. If you think it’s gross or you just don’t feel good, then that is totally okay and no one should make you have sex during Bloody Sunday (or ever).
Also, don’t feel like you’re obligated to give him anything because you don’t feel like having sex. He has two hands and access to Internet porn. He can take care of himself. Unless you want to, then leave him to it. But make sure to let him know that chocolate in any form is an acceptable gift.
If you’re on the fence about the whole period sex thing (and let’s face it – most of us are on the fence about it), here are some reasons to consider…
- Orgasms release all kinds of feel-good hormones and endorphins that can ix-nay those icky period feelings, at least for a little while.
- You totally don’t need extra lube. At least the blood is good for something!
- Say goodbye to those icky cramps! Orgasms also help loosen up those muscles.
Ready to try? Here’s another important thing to know, and tell those guys that try to get out of the whole condom thing…
You can still get pregnant during your period.
Although the risk goes way down (like close to nil), there is still a risk. And considering that sperm can just kind of hang out for up to five days, there’s a chance you could still get pregnant after your period.
So unless you’re trying to have a baby or you just like to tempt fate, I would suggest using protection and birth control at all times. You can tell your partner that, too because both unwanted babies and potential STIs are not sexy.
The Best Ways to Do It
Let’s dive in about some ways you can explore period sex, safely, together. There are several ways to have sex while on your period. Here are some of the pros and cons of some of the most popular ways.
Let’s face it. We all love a good bang in the shower. It’s hot. It’s steamy. It’s sweaty. All descriptors of great sex. Pros of shower sex on your period is that it’s probably the least messy way to get down while bleeding. Water pressure temporarily counters the pressure of the blood being released, meaning no/very little bleeding while submerged in water. Any blood that does come out just goes right down the drain.
One of the cons of shower sex is that condoms can slip or break. The other one is that because the waters can stop the blood, you’re going to need a good lubricant. Dry sex is no fun for anyone.
Sex on the Bed
Okay, first off, those girls who like being on top? Do yourself and your partner a favor and pick a you-on-bottom position. Turns out, gravity is a thing and gravity is not your friend in this case. Unless he likes being covered in blood, just don’t go there (or do, if you’re into all that stuff).
You might be a little bit worried about sexing on the sheets, which is why it’s a super good idea to grab your cheapest (and darkest) towel for extra support. If you don’t have one, just go out and get one. Trust me, it’s worth it. Take the blankets off your bed and lay the towel down for you guys to have a base.
Make sure you focus on a lot of foreplay (but probably don’t have him go down on you unless you’re both into it). Best foreplay bets? Kissing, touching the upper half of your body, nipple play, etc. You’re also more likely to be able to self-lubricate when you’re not in the shower, and sex lying down is often more comfortable than worrying about slipping and sliding around.
How much you’re bleeding will also determine how much (if any) lubricant you need, and how much time you have between when clothes come off and you start having sex. If you’re surfing the heavy flow, then that needs to happen immediately. If you’re further along, then you can probably risk it for a few more minutes.
Whichever method you choose, you’re guaranteed to have a good time. And hey, even if it isn’t your cup of tea, at least you tried. Now… Get to it, slut!