If you have a healthy relationship, swinging can provide numerous benefits when approached properly. It’s a consciously adopted lifestyle that requires education, communication, patience and understanding – qualities required for any successful relationship. Swinging is not for everyone, but for some couples it’s a welcome addition that spices up their love life.
For some people, swinging functions as a teaching tool. By watching other people have sex, you witness the variety in other people’s sexuality, which can stimulate ideas for more fun in your own relationship. Swinging can also enhance role-play and fantasy scenarios. Before a swinging encounter, the mere thought of it makes sex exciting for some couples… and the memory of it can make sex afterward better than ever. Yet, because jealousy is a part of human nature, jealousy management is sometimes a factor for swingers. It can be handled and even turned into a form of sexual arousal for the swinging couple who trust each other.
If you’re thinking about integrating swinging into your sex life, here’s some beginner’s tips and easy, comfortable ways to introduce yourselves to the lifestyle.
Open, Honest Communication
Good communication is key while navigating the world of swinging. It’s important to make sure that both partners are getting what they need out of the swinging and out of the relationship. Expressing your own needs and feelings – and listening to your partner’s – is essential. Knowledge and communication – with your partner, and perhaps with a more seasoned swinger or swinging couple – can make experimenting with this lifestyle easier, more comforting, and ultimately more satisfying.
Group Erotic Massage
One way to test the waters of bringing a third party into your relationship is to arrange a full-body massage for your partner. Participate in this sensuous, pleasurable practice by being present. You can learn by watching, or join in and provide your partner with the ecstatic touch of four hands. Watching someone else touch your partner this way is a real turn-on for some. You can explore a massage only, or take it a step further and include the masseuse in a sexual encounter.
For a swinging couple, arranging a massage for your partner can take on many different forms. Some people like watching their significant other receive a massage that turns into a sexual encounter. They find the experience of watching exciting. Others like to join in the process of giving the massage as a lead-in to all three having sex. The third party in the relationship functions as a catalyst – almost like sex toy – which enhances the couple’s sexual relations. For many, watching their partner be massaged acts as a type of foreplay that is very arousing, even if the masseur doesn’t fully join in a sex act.
Voyeurism is deriving sexual pleasure and gratification from looking at naked bodies and genital organs, or observing the sexual acts of others. The voyeur can be hidden from view or out in the open. Some people enjoy watching their partner have sex with another person, and for these couples it’s often the build-up, the scenario, and the anticipation that fuels the fire. This type of voyeurism often accompanies swinging as part of a couple’s sex life. Frequently, a voyeur may have a fantasy of engaging in sexual activity with the person being observed, and in the case of swingers this fantasy can easily become a reality.
Some women take the lead by introducing another woman into the relationship. Watching two women together, especially when one of them is their partner, is a fantasy come true for many men. Most women involved in swinging lifestyles experience sexual encounters with both other men and other women, and it’s a comfortable start to swinging for many couples. Some couples are so comfortable with swinging that they seek out a third party as a type of “gift” for their significant other. They make a conscious effort to allow their loved one to be who they are by being curious and sexy and having fun with other people. They are turned-on watching their partner with someone else. Their relationship is secure enough that he doesn’t feel any threat or jealousy at the thought, or the sight, of her making love with another person. They are so tuned in to what kind of person arouses their partner that often the couple turns into a steady threesome.
Swinging, when approached properly in an already healthy relationship, can be incredibly pleasurable for everyone involved. It requires education, communication, patience and understanding – and can easily become a part of your sex life if you comfortably introduce yourselves to the lifestyle, and remain open throughout.