I come from a family in which sex is far from being taboo. When I was a teenager, I came across adult magazines from the 90s in which my mom was featured as a model. So, my first sex talk started with these photos where my mom looked as pretty as Marilyn Monroe, just without the flying white dress. Two young women, two generations around a shoebox full of porn magazines. No shame or guilt, just an open talk about sex as an act, a way to connect, and a very lucrative and empowering industry. So the world of sex workers always fascinated me.
Though people say I’m the spitting image of my beautiful mother, I am not a model. Instead, my fascination with the adult industry world led me to writing on sex trends and rising stars in the industry who innovate with new skills or creative ways to arouse and make people explore their sexuality. As live cams became a sensation in the past few years, especially with the COVID-19 safety measures worldwide, I realized that I hadn’t even given this type of adult entertainment a single thought.
Was it too new? Or did I have apprehensions because all the action was happening solely online? That’s where all the catfishing happens, isn’t it? Plus, what would it say about me? The thought of interacting online with a stranger for the first time for the sole purpose of pleasure and intimacy was completely scary to me.
So there I was, 15 years later after that life-altering conversation with my mom about the adult industry, looking at my own biases.
I also realized I had not masturbated in a while. My sex-toy drawer was filled, but I was bored. It was time for a new kind of self-pleasure. But I still needed the incentive to push my sexual limits further.
So the next morning, I put on my sheer black pantyhose, my orange mini skirt, and my black turtle neck, and with my fuming coffee mug, I walked into my editor’s office. I told her I wanted to write about live cams for Valentine’s Day. She said “alrrrriiiiiiiiiight,” and blessed my pursuit with the sluttiest look of approval. She even recommended the platform Jerkmate after hearing about how great it was from a local cam model.
The New Territory
On the night of February 10, also the night before my deadline, I went on Jerkmate to wake the inner slut that’s been sleeping within. I released my long brown hair from that high bun it’s usually tied in, put on my orange silk cami with a pair of jean booty shorts, and sat on my bed facing my laptop.
Joining was free, and it only took 5 minutes. With a username, an email, and a credit card, I signed up and agreed to the TOS that I had skimmed through the day before. I knew they couldn’t charge me unless I entered a private chat.
So I browsed through profiles, looked at pictures, read about heights, zodiac signs, sexual orientations, and fetishes. I was overwhelmed by the amount and diversity of models available online: men, women, couples, transwomen, and transmen. There were thousands of models worldwide, and I had absolutely no idea where to start.
My brain shut down. I went to the kitchen, fixed myself a dry vodka martini, and wondered: “What’s the one thing I would never try IRL?” I chugged the rest of my martini and went back to my bedroom.
The Model
We’ll call her Carmen. She had long curly burgundy hair that she’d toss on her left side every minute. She was thin, 5 foot 9, bi, and Gemini. Not that I was into Geminis, or tall women, or women altogether. But I was immediately drawn to her profile picture. Somehow, she looked like a bolder, prouder, and a more sexually confident version of me. One look at her, and I wished I could embody her erotic energy, just for one night.
I saw this camgirl’s pictures, and I was dazzled by her confidence. Carmen posed as if she owed nothing to anyone. I was mesmerized by the energy that came from her pictures. Her beige legs were covered in tattoos of flowers and animals. Her arms too. In all her shots, she wore dark red lipstick that matched her hair, and her glasses only added to her mystic sexiness.
Carmen was online, wearing a blue see-through nightdress with a matching lacey thong underneath.
She was smoking a cigarette, sitting on her bed, and playing with her hair. I clicked on Go Private, and, anonymously, I joined her in the chat.
The Private Chat
I had no pick-up line prepared. And then I realized, I didn’t need one. I wasn’t at a bar, where a conversation can get cut short before it even started. I was online, I was unseen, and I was trying something new. So just said: “I know you must get that a lot, but you’re really gorgeous!”
“I do get it a lot. But it’s nice to read. Thx CuriousBabe28. Is it your first time on Jerkmate?”
“Yes.”
“Cool! Welcome my room,” she typed as she looked into the camera. “What are you into? For the right amount of gold, I can help take care of your fantasies, babe.”
I wondered what her voice sounded like. Did she have an accent? Or a low-pitched voice? It felt like something was missing.
“Can I hear your voice?” I typed. And I tipped her to show her there was more coming.
She turned on her mic, and with her low voice said: “You seem a little shy, how can I help you get comfortable?”
And I typed, “What about a dance?”
“No problem, babe!”
To the sound of deep house, Carmen moved slowly, touching each curve with her fingertips, from her lips to her hips. Her sensuality was contagious. I wanted to join her, to be there with her, to feel the music through her. Goosebumps covered my skin. My heart was beating faster. That model’s dancing was exhilarating.
The Cam 2 Cam Experience
When the song stopped, Carmen sat back on her bed and lowered the volume. Her eyes were different, softer: she was excited too.
“Are you excited yet, CuriousBabe28? Tell me what you’d like to see next.”
“How do you do it? Become so confident in front of a camera like that? Aren’t you scared?”
“No, I am free. And I can show you. Click on cam 2 cam!”
“Does that mean you’ll be able to see me?”
“Yes, if you want to. But it’s freeing, I’m telling you!”
I asked her for two minutes, and rushed to the kitchen to get a shot of vodka straight from the bottle. And I thought “what the hell,” and took another one before running back to my bed. Carmen had typed “Still here?”
I turned on my camera, but said nothing, only waved stupidly.
“Wow, you’re the gorgeous one!” she said. “Now, are you ready for the real fun?”
I shook my head to approve. The vodka has just completed its trip to my brain cells. I was completely tipsy, floating in my own arousal. I was being watched by someone who gets watched every day, by someone who understands the thrill, the novelty of it.
For the remainder of the session, I let Carmen guide my hands on my body. I could tell she had done this many times before. My neck, my arms, my breasts, my lips, no inch of skin escaped her command. My pussy was hers, and I allowed myself to come only when she said I could.
I never felt so empowered with my sexuality.
The Gold Show Invitation
“Will you come to my gold show on Friday night?” she said proudly. Clueless, I asked “What’s a Gold show?”
“That’s when you watch me perform as part of an audience. But I only do it when the total amount I set for the show is reached. Everyone who wants to attend has to enter their own buy-in rate to save a seat. And they only get charged if I perform.”
“Can people tell you what they want to see?”
“They sure can, but I decide. A gold show is my stage. That’s where I do my thing.”
“What’s your thing?”
“Come to my show and you’ll see!”
“I might. Good night Carmen!”
“Good night CuriousBabe28!”
Smiling, I left Carmen’s cam room, still tingling from my orgasm. I had just entered a world in which I could fulfill a fantasy I didn’t even know I had. My own assumptions about my sexuality were completely challenged, defeated. I was entirely in charge of curating my own pleasure.
As my heartbeat slowed down from the excitement, I started writing my story. I wondered how my mother felt, being seen, her sensuality captured by each photographer’s excited eye. What did she teach them about their own pleasure? Was there ever a curious woman behind the camera whose heartbeat raced the second she saw her? I wonder.
The Online Community
Jerkmate is an online community of amateur and professional models who help adults to explore their sexuality in a radically new way.
The adult platform only features real models from all over the world, who speak different languages, and are from different orientations, ages, genders, ethnicities, and backgrounds. There are hundreds of categories and tags to browse through, and thousands of profiles for all preferences and discoveries!
The Features and Cost
Lots of great features are accessible for free, like all the models’ complete profiles, including their pictures, and the chat room.
Each cam room is different, and each model sets their rate per minute for a private session, for videos, and the buy-in rate for a Gold show. The site’s currency is called Gold and equals 1 USD. You can use Gold to tip models or join a Gold show. The private sessions are charged via credit card per minute. You can leave a private chat at any moment.
The Freedom of Anonymity
On Jerkmate, you can feel free to explore new things in complete anonymity. No photo or social media page is linked to your account. You can be as kinky as you want to be and live your best slutty life to the fullest!
Forget about labels or expectations — dare to take avenues that could lead you to new experiences. Who knows? The next person who makes you cum might look like you or be completely different from you. It doesn’t matter.
As long as you feel welcome, safe, empowered, and excited, you’ll have fun!
