Simple Male Masturbator
Although I’m not a guy, I’ve always had a peculiar curiosity for male toys (or toys for those with penises). I can’t help but wonder, what’s so appealing about the Fleshlight? (After originally publishing this review, I found out when I had the opportunity to check out the Fleshlight – read our review here!) Does the Crystal Pussy or Oral Orgasmatron really feel… well, real? I assumed that these male masturbators couldn’t come close to sex… after all, what could replace the moaning and movement of a real, live person? But, I figured they may be interesting for a guy who’s looking for something a bit more exciting than his right hand. We all have to switch it up a bit sometimes… and if those of us with vaginas get to use such awesome sex toys, why should guys be left out of the fun?
So, when Good Vibes offered to send me the Tenga Egg masturbator, – I was thrilled to accept the offer. I called up my favorite hookup, invited him over, and whipped out the egg.
Want it now? Buy it here!
Name: Tenga Egg “Street”
Type: Men’s Toys
Hearts: 2 Hearts
Quality: 2 Stars
Naughtiness: 2 Devils
Special Features: Textured, Inexpensive, Travel Friendly, Waterproof
What is it?
Male masturbators (or cock strokers) are designed to fit over the user’s penis, providing a unique and “fleshy” sensation for pleasure. Some are shaped like a vagina, asshole, or mouth to mimic a real-life feel. Others are simply sleeves that provide a unique sensation – ranging from stimulating textures to kung-fu grips that creates some serious suction. There are many types of male masturbators out there, but the Tenga Egg is unique in that it’s a small, egg-shaped, disposable “cock sleeve” with a simple textured design. It even comes with its own lubricant for easy play on the go!
Size & Design
The Tenga Egg is super tiny. The outer egg shell (used for storage and carrying) can easily fit in my hand. The inner egg is just 2.5 inches tall and 1.74 inches wide, but can be stretched up to a foot long. Surprisingly, the material was super stretchy to accommodate even the largest guys. But, it was definitely not designed to withstand a lot of play. After the first time my man used it, the Egg was already starting to show signs of wear and breaking. One hole at the tip was becoming very weak, and if we were any rougher, we may have broke it through. Upon a second look, the website says to pinch the tip of the egg before using, just as you would pinch the tip of a condom… but we totally neglected that rule in our haste, which may have contributed to this issue.
Materials, Cleaning & Care
While some masturbators like the Fleshlight line can cost up to (or over) $100, the Tenga Egg is under $10, making it the least expensive stroker on the market. It is made of a phthalate-free elastomer, a very safe material, but because elastomer is porous, it can harbor germs. So, the Egg is definitely best for a one-time-only deal. If you’re determined to use the Tenga Egg a second time (which is not recommended) it can be washed thoroughly and carefully with warm water and a gentle anti-bacterial soap, then turned inside-out to dry. After it’s dry, the original egg case can be used again for storage.
How it Works
The Tenga Egg has by far the cutest packaging of all “male” toys on the market. It feels like you’re about to unwrap a naughty present… with a totally discreet design and photos to guide you through. Here’s our guide on opening and using your Egg:
- The egg comes in a tiny little egg shell. Pull the tab to unwrap the outer layer.
- Crack the egg open to reveal the little masturbator. Inside, there are some directions and a package of lube!
- Open the lube and squirt it inside the masturbator. Then, start playing!
DISCLAIMER: My man is au natural (uncircumcised) so his experiences with the Tenga Egg may be completely different than the experience of a man who is circumcised.
When my hookup and I initially opened the egg, we were excited, intrigued, and a bit skeptical. The whole concept of a male masturbator seems a little too good to be true… but having two open minds, we were looking forward to giving this little toy a shot. It looked a little small and a little thin, but the inner design (which looks exactly like the outer egg’s design) looked pretty cool. We lubed it up thoroughly, put it on, and started stroking.
Unfortunately, just like the classic book and movie, my man was just not that into it. At best, he said it kind of felt like a lubed up hand job. At its worst, it felt like nothing. “It literally feels like nothing,” he said, “If I had my eyes closed and was a little drunk, I wouldn’t even know it was there. I’d just think I was getting a shitty drunken hand job with way too much lube.” The boy is blunt, what can I say? But from an outside perspective, his face looked incredibly disappointed. But, I was determined to make him love the egg.
I tried stroking. He tried stroking. We tried stroking just the head. Then just the shaft. We tried twisting it in a corkscrew motion. We tried stroking while twisting. We did it fast, then slow. I stroked very sexily. I fondled his balls. But at the end of the experience, the Tenga Egg kind of just got in the way. We wondered, where is this “realistic feel” that everyone keeps talking about? Maybe it felt realistic in the sense that it felt just like his hand… but in reality, it just made his dick really messy and “made a lot of squishy gobbly goop noises” (his words, not mine). Ultimately, he would have preferred me, my hand, or his own hand over the Tenga Egg. (I’m sorry, Good Vibes, I really tried.)
After several college tries, we gave up… and moved on to things that would actually satisfy me and my man. Later, we presumed that the Tenga Egg may be better suited for men who are circumcised. Men who are circumcised do not have a protective foreskin covering their sensitive head, so they are not used to stroking without lube or spit. Since my man still has his foreskin and is able to play without any lube, playing with the Tenga Egg felt just like playing with his own foreskin, except it was foreign, messy, and “squishy”. It felt like the usual sliding without friction, but didn’t have any additional sensation. He would have preferred if it was a bit tighter, softer, warming, or felt more like jelly – rather than just a sleeve. For someone who’s circumcised, they may have never experienced the sensation of a “sleeve” before, and thus may find this much more pleasurable.
Pros & Cons
- One use only
- Pulled at my partner’s foreskin
- Didn’t feel like much of anything
- Would have been better off with our hands
Despite its cute exterior, the Tenga Egg wasn’t pleasurable for my uncircumcised man. He couldn’t feel the textured ridges and just felt like he was wearing a really thick condom… with way too much lube. All in all, he was underwhelmed, and despite my hardest efforts, told me several times that there was no way in hell he would ever be able to orgasm “with this slimy thing in the way”. Overall, he would have preferred his own hand, which is really saying a lot.
Thank you, Good Vibes, for sending me this interesting little toy!
I’m sorry it didn’t work out for us. It may still be fabulous for someone who is circumcised.
Get it at:
GoodVibes for $9.
Free shipping on orders over $69.
Pair it with our favorite lubricant, Wicked.
SheVibe for $7.
Free shipping on orders over $75.
Pair it with our favorite lubricant, Wicked.
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Thanks so much for the honest review! Me & my man were skeptical to test this out!
This is one of the best and most hilarious reviews I’ve ever read. Guys are lucky to be involved with girls that have to review sex toys. Haha
Aye yi yi! I really had high hopes for this – but it was terrible. My hookup has mixed reactions – sometimes, “Ooooh, I can’t wait to try that!” other times…. “wait, that goes WHERE?!”
My hookups look at me like I’m a sex-crazed porn star sometimes and I can’t help but laugh when they do. I never tell them where it’s supposed to go, I make them guess. Their stupid looks make it all worth it.