Come on, admit it. You know you’ve thought about rolling around in an orgy at least once or twice in your life. Maybe it was during a seriously crappy one night stand that was so terrible it made you question your own sexuality, or maybe it was during an episode of routine long-term relationship sex. Hell, you could have just been sitting around your house lost in your own head. Regardless of whatever reason you have for imagining a sea of naked bodies around you (not that you needed a reason), most of us have toyed with the idea of involving ourselves in an orgy at some point as adults. If you’re seriously curious and considering setting up an event of your own, there are a few things that you should keep in mind before getting down and dirty.

Choose Your Vibe

No, not your vibrator, though that could really only add to the experience in a positive way. Hosting an orgy is all about personal preference, so it’s entirely up to you and your guests as to what atmosphere you want to create. Be sure to keep everything within the theme that you ultimately land on. If you’re hoping for something more along the lines of a luxurious and romantic masquerade rather than a dungeon interrogation, choose props and decorations like candles and satin sheets instead of whips and ceiling shackles. Make sure that you really consider what you will be comfortable with, as well as what your guests will be comfortable with.  If everyone is really feeling the vibe, they’ll be more willing to participate freely, so don’t be afraid to poll your guests to make sure that everyone is on the same page.

If you’re going for more of a dungeon vibe, Lovehoney offers a ton of bondage toys for both beginners and the kinkster who has everything.

Be Selective

Speaking of guests, you really should be selective about who you’re inviting inside of your home and inside of you. Yes, the idea of being ravished by the hands of several masked strangers that you’ve never met before is no doubt hot as hell, but it’s also a good way to turn a fun night into a horror story in a split second. Start by reaching out to some well-known acquaintances that you’d genuinely be willing to get naked with and see what happens. Just make sure that you actually like these people and won’t stay awake at night regretting the fact that you chose to have sex with them. If you look at them and your first internal thought is meh, don’t bring them to your orgy.

After you’ve selected a few guests, you can either leave it small and intimate or you can ask your guests to vouch for some of their own trusted friends as potential party goers, giving you the chance to do Facebook and background checks if you feel the need (and you should), while still maintaining a sense of engaging with the unknown. Whatever you do, remember that you’ll probably still have to see your friends after this, so really weigh your options when deciding who you want to show up.

Don’t Be an Idiot

You would think this is common sense, but regardless of what theme you choose or which guests you invite, don’t get yourself involved in situations that are unsafe or uncomfortable for you or your guests. Make condom usage mandatory, no matter what. It’s all fun and games until you decide to screw your friend, Steve, without a condom because, hey, it’s “just Steve”, and then “just Steve” gives you chlamydia. (No STI shame here – but it’s important to use protection.)

If someone starts pressuring you or any of your guests to go beyond their boundaries, kick them out immediately and without a shred of remorse. If you want to have alcohol at your orgy, feel free to do so, but don’t get wasted and don’t let your guests get wasted. A little liquid courage is always fine, but when the lines of consent start to get blurred because of intoxication, you’ve gone too far. (The same goes for other party drugs.) If anyone gets hurt or uncomfortable at any time for any reason, just stop the whole thing. End it. You don’t have to justify your reasoning, and your job as the host is to ensure that everyone is safe and has a good time.

Keep It Clean

It’s okay to get caught up in the heat of the moment and have a quickie with your long-term partner when neither of you have showered. You love each other and you deal with each other’s grossness. When hosting a sex party or orgy, however, you’re expected to show up with some proof that you understand the basic laws of personal hygiene. Most people do not enjoy pressing up against bodies that aren’t clean or taken care of, so make sure that you highlight the fact that cleaning up before (and after) the orgy is mandatory. Instruct your guests to do the basic shower/brush your teeth/comb your hair routine before attending the event, but also be a good hostess and have a few extra things of deodorant, wet wipes, and toothbrushes on hand in case any last minute maintenance needs to be done before playing. Another good rule of thumb is to avoid crazy perfumes and anything strongly scented. Choking during sex can be hot sometimes, but not so much when it’s a guest going into anaphylactic shock due to your overbearing body spray. Be sparing. Less is more.

Stock up on sex toy and body wipes before your orgy.

If you’re really interested in experiencing what an orgy is like, try it. Don’t ignore what you want and end up at your eightieth birthday regretting the memories that were never made. Have the orgy, and have a ridiculous amount of fun telling the story that you take away from it. Scar your grandkids with it. Do it.