Having a dedicated friend with benefits is almost a rite of passage for every slutty girl. But what is the meaning of an FWB? A friend with benefits relationship or FWB is different than a booty call! Booty calls are people you barely know beyond sex, call up when you want them, have sex, and leave afterward. So what are friends with benefits? A FWB is someone who you actually hangout with before and/or after the sex is done. Being friends while having sex can sometimes be tricky, confusing waters. Can friends with benefits work? Not all can stand the test of time, and having sex may impact your friendship. But, there are ways to make your friendship and friends with benefits relationship last, without a bunch of drama. It requires strong communication and setting expectations and boundaries so that both people are getting what they want/need out of the FWB relationship.
My most long-lasting FWB relationship has being going on for five years now, and doesn’t show any signs of stopping anytime soon. I love him, but I’m not in love with him. I would prefer spending our time together getting stoned, playing Mario Kart, and having a lot of sex …and I wouldn’t change that for anything! We literally high five sometimes after sex, talk to each other about other guys and girls, and have seen each other puking face in the bar toilet at 3AM regretting that last shot. We are just friend, and don’t ever try to impress each other and it’s awesome!
Some people who have FWB’s are polyamorous, some are aromantic, some are monogamous but enjoy having non-romantic sexual relationships as well, and much more. There is no one type of person who enjoys a FWB!
Here are five fab tips on how to have friend with benefits relationship work. Keep it fun, light, and alive, without any feelings at all because that’s how slutty girls do it! 😉
1. FWB Need to be Friends
Being friends really is a crucial part of the fwb definition. You know that friend of yours that you’ve always found hot, but have zero feelings for at all? Yeah, they would be a perfect FWB. You’ve probably heard them fart, seen them date other people, and have ordered Dominos with them at 5AM after a few too many Fireball shots on a Wednesday night. You have already friend zoned each other, so adding sex to the equation would just make it more fun! You won’t get feelings for each other because you’ve already passed that stage and see him as pretty much un-dateable, but still totally fuckable.
2. Friends with Benefits Rules
Each FWB relationship should establish some rules. Do you want to know about the other people they’re sleeping with? Do you let others know you that are hooking up with each other? When does it end? Talking about things like this will make it much easier to keep the fwb relationship working. You aren’t dating your friend with benefits, but you still need to keep open communication with each other. People can still get hurt, so be cautious and talk with each other at some point! Even if it’s between rounds of amazing sex…
3. Don’t Go on Dates with Your FWB
You are not dating. You don’t have to know what they are doing at any given second of the day. Honestly, you should only really text or talk on the phone when you are planning to meet up. No one wants to have a friend with benefits telling them what to do or checking in daily. That is going into girlfriend/boyfriend territory and we do not want that. If it seems like one of you does want that, then you need to have a conversation and re-evaluate to ensure everyone is on the same page. Also, you guys should not go out together alone! That is called a date. You don’t date your FWB, you have sex with them and hang out, and that’s it!
4. Don’t be Exclusive with Your FWB
When you have a friends with benefits, you should 1000 percent still be dating other people! That’s the point of a friend with benefits, to keep your sex life alive until Mx. Right comes strolling along. Don’t think that one day you are going to wake up and fall in love with your causal hookup, or vice versa. That isn’t supposed to happen. Keep going on dates, go out to bars, sign up for Tinder, do whatever you want to do to meet people, because odds are that your FWB is not your soul mate (unless you happen to be Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake).
5. Expect Your FWB to End
Ending a friends with benefits relationship is the end of an era. You’re growing up and moving on to real adult relationships with futures and love (yikes). Though moving on and getting into a real, loving relationship with someone who makes you want to make them the only one is something to celebrate, it’s still kinda sad. My FWB is one of my good friends, and I know I’ll miss sucking his dick while watching House M.D. in the background once it’s all said and done, but all good things must come to an end!
If you follow these tips and go into the relationship with an open mind, a good friends with benefits relationship is one of the best kinds of relationships. You can learn what you like in bed, experiment, and tell him when you need him to go a little bit to the left. Every girl needs to try a friend with benefits and start having some great meaningless sex with a guy you can eat pizza and drink beer with.