If being in a LTR with a man I’m planning on marrying has taught me anything, it is that you both need to stay one step ahead when it comes to your sex life. Otherwise, it’s easy to get stuck. Do you always find yourselves in the same position? Having the same type of sex? In the same lingerie? Then your sex life is probably stuck, too.

So, a few months ago, M and I decided to spur on our continued learning and growing as sexual beings: We decided to buy one another one sexy gift each month. This is the Sexy Gifting Policy.

The Sexy Gifting Policy is flexible and open-ended in that it is entirely dependent on what sort of sexy thing is tickling your fancy at the moment. Curious about BDSM? Your sexy gift to your partner(s) becomes a book on BDSM. Tantra? Book a couple’s intro class.

Sexy Gifting can range anywhere from books to movies (sexy movies, please) to lingerie to toys to classes to shoes to… well, pretty much anything, budget-dependent of course. No one says no to new things and us ladies in particular luck out because most of our guys don’t want to be rocking a man thong – so it’s a great excuse for them to buy you lingerie.

So, you want to start a Sexy Gifting policy in your own life? Here are a couple things to think about/do:

  1. If in a relationship, your partner must be open to it. Sexy Gifting is about more than being a mere monthly excuse to buy yourself/them something. When you both agree to Sexy Gifting, you’re agreeing to being committed to helping one another grow sexually (meaning you’ll actually use the gifts!).
  2. Budget is incredibly important when instituting a Sexy Gifting policy. If you’re in college or not bringing in a lot of income, you probably won’t have a ton of money to drop on lingerie and books and toys every month. That’s okay! There are a lot of ways to do Sexy Gifting without a lot of money.
    • Take advantage of GroupOns, sales, and coupons to get things for way less money.
    • The Internet is a wonderful place that will allow you to research how to do things for free. Find how-to guides online and demonstrations on YouTube. For example, you can learn Tantric breathing techniques in this video or this article.

Okay, but what if I’m single?

That’s totally fine! In fact, being single is a perfect time to institute a Sexy Self Gifting policy in your life because what a better way to acknowledge your raw sexuality and lust for sexual learning than to get or do something nice and sexy for yourself?!

When you’re single and Sexy Gifting, you get the benefit of being able to buy whatever you want and learn about whatever you want because you don’t have to take another person’s needs or wants into account.

Basically, don’t be afraid to celebrate your sexiness by buying yourself something nice every month.

I’m new to Sexy Gifting. What should I/we get?

Great question! Here is a list of ideas you and/or you and your partner can buy one another as your Sexy Gift!

  1. Lingerie (including babydolls, teddies, bustiers, panties, bras, even sexy briefs for the more masculine partners)
  2. Toys (cock rings, g-spot stimulators, basic vibrators)
  3. Books (manuals, tips and tricks)
  4. Movies (pornos, manuals)
  5. Hosiery (thigh highs, stockings)
  6. Shoes (high heeled boots, pumps)
  7. BDSM Tools (paddles, crops, feather dusters, harnesses)
  8. Sexy Costumes (for roleplay!)
  9. Sexy Potions (lubes, oils, and edible treats)
  10. Sexy Activities (couples massage, sex classes)

So you see, the Sexy Gifting policy is a One-Size-Fits-All idea because you can make it whatever you like. The most important thing about it is that you are recognizing your worth and value as a sexual being and that continue learning about your ever-evolving sexuality. Be nice to yourself and buy yourself something sexy.

You deserve it.