We’ve reached the twenty-first century and, sadly, sending nude photos is still not 100% socially acceptable. Good thing we don’t give a fuck. You can let the old-timers have their boring sex life while you thrive in yours. We live in a digital age where sending pictures is a simple as snapping and sending.

However, it’s also just as easy for the recipient to save the picture to look at later. In worse circumstances, they could share it with others or post it publically. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been with your partner for six months or sixty years. It doesn’t matter if you trust your partner 110%, you can always fall victim of revenge porn. Revenge porn is not a topic that’s discussed a lot, but it should be. If you aren’t familiar with the term, the dictionary definition reads:

“Revealing or sexually explicit images or videos of a person posted on the Internet, typically by a former sexual partner, without the consent of the subject and in order to cause them distress or embarrassment”

Revenge porn is real and it’s a growing problem in the world we live in (as our founder experienced here). Here are some tips on what to do if you do become a victim.

Realize This is a Problem

The first step in understanding revenge porn is realizing that it’s a huge problem, much larger than you may already know. You’ve seen on the news and online many times where someone’s nude photos or videos got leaked. You’ve probably scrolled past it absentmindedly, not even looking back. Unfortunately, the person targeted likely couldn’t move on as easily. People have taken their own lives because of their photos being leaked, yet people continue to ignore the growing problem. If you don’t recognize the problem, you can’t fix the problem.

Challenge Society’s Negative Attitude

When someone experiences revenge porn, people often say “Well, they shouldn’t have sent the photos in the first place.” This is nothing more than thinly-veiled slut-shaming. Challenge their negative behavior and nasty attitude. When nude photos are leaked, it should never be a case of, “It was your fault for sending them.” It should always be, “Shame on them for sharing them,” and whoever leaked the photos should be legally held responsible. In most states, this is legally the case. But more often than not, there are no consequences for this disgusting behavior, even if there are laws in place to protect victims. Sharing intimate photos without the explicit permission of everyone pictured in them is a violation of consent. Our society needs to stop blaming the victim of revenge porn and start holding the offender accountable.

Know Your Rights

You. Have. Rights. Research your state’s laws on revenge porn. Forty-six States, DC, and one territory now have revenge porn laws. Click this link to find out if your state holds the offender accountable. It’s important to remember that you don’t have to ignore what’s been done to you if you’re a victim of revenge porn. If you have to, seek legal advice or help, and get your life back.

Resources are here to help you, so use them. BADASS is one such movement, dedicated to helping folks who have had intimate selfies shared without their consent. If you need to, visit a therapist to talk about your feelings. Often, abusers will attempt to manipulate or gaslight you into thinking their actions were of no harm (our founder shares her experience here).

Raise Awareness

Don’t wait until you’re a victim of revenge porn to raise awareness. You can help prevent revenge porn by spreading the word that it is illegal. If others know that revenge porn is illegal and they could face criminal charges including jail time, they’re less likely to share sexually explicit photos of others. By spreading the word that revenge porn is illegal, you’re potentially helping future victims including yourself. You can help raise awareness about revenge porn by posting on social media. You can also help spread awareness of revenge porn by reporting it if you see it.

By fighting back against revenge porn, you’re setting our society up for a better future. A society that sees you as the victim when your photos are leaked out of revenge and not as someone who, “Asked for it.” You take and send your pictures with trust and when that trust gets broken, there should be legal consequences to face. If you hear about revenge porn; a victim or an offender, speak up about it. Spread the word and stand up for what you know is right.