Slut.
What do you think when you hear someone say that word? Most people would look around to see who the word was describing, some would shoot the person saying it a look of disgust, others would do both. Now, flashback to when you first remember using that word. How old were you? 15? 16? Maybe even younger? I grew up in a small town where your dirty laundry was aired for weeks at a time and your parents knew before you were even back in bed. It was easy to fall into the rhythm of doing what the people around you do – and soon the act of “slut shaming” was born.
The definition of “slut shaming” is: the act of making or attempting to make a person, usually a woman, feel guilty for certain sexual behaviors. Now most of you, including myself, are probably thinking, slut-shaming must be a concept perpetuated by men. Well, we would be wrong. Women, along with men, are strong contributors to the act of slut shaming. It’s shocking to know that ladies contribute to something that hurts our fellow ladies as well as ourselves. We need to change it. We need to better ourselves not just for ourselves, but for our future children, grandchildren, and for the next generations of young ladies.
Why are people scared of women having sex? This is the twenty-first century for Pete’s sake. Why is it such a problem for us to have a high libido? I mean, it’s natural. The birds and the bees do it, so why shouldn’t we? Every day, people tell me how lucky I am to live in this period of time, how much the laws have changed since the early 1900s to benefit women and, you know, they’re right, but they are also wrong. With the good also comes the bad. If we can’t even embrace our own sexuality, how are we supposed to be free? How are we supposed to be ourselves? We are judged for having sex and judged for not having sex: we have to do what makes us feel good.
“Slut” Should Not Be Used Negatively
When I first discovered Slutty Girl Problems, I was far from comfortable with my sexuality, naturally high libido, or my sexual past. Finding SGP and the women involved in this wonderful website made me realize that I can be as sexual as I want to be. It taught me that I don’t have to hide my sexual past like a red ledger – and that is the best thing I could have ever asked for. The point of SGP is to empower the word “slut” and desensitize ourselves from understanding the word “slut” as a negative term. We need to stop using the word as an insult and stop using it so nonchalantly. We can’t use the word negatively toward others then not expect for others to do the same to us. To quote SGP, “A slut is a woman who is confident, classy, and empowered. She is in control of her sexuality and her choices. She doesn’t let anyone define her. She defines herself.” We need to stand up for each other and put any stigmas that are offensive to women and people in general to rest.
Normally when people are slut-shaming it’s because they are afraid of that person’s sexuality and confidence. That is a sad and scary thought. People are afraid of us being ourselves. We all have an inner “slut,” or as it’s referred to in Fifty Shades, an “inner goddess.” Whatever you want to call it, it’s in all of us. Big, small, male, female – it doesn’t matter. Embrace it, ladies, embrace yourself, embrace the confidence that the good lord gave ya. You only get one life and we have to make the most of it. We have to make the world better, no matter how long we have on this earth. Be the best person you can be, so be your slutty self!
For Our Future Generations
Imagine our world twenty years from now. What do you picture? You working your dream job, married to that person you’ve been seeing for a few months, a few kids running around the house? What do you imagine the world is like? Are we still facing the same issues we have now? Most of us would hope we weren’t, myself included. Why would I want my daughters living in a world where she has a one in six chance of being raped and less than a 16% chance of her rapist being prosecuted? A world where she has to be ashamed of the body and the flaws she was born with? That’s not a life. That’s a recipe for disaster.
I couldn’t imagine bringing a child, of any gender, into this world without making a promise to myself to do whatever I can to prepare that child for the real world. I was lucky enough to have a supportive family and friends around me after my sexual assault, and I hope whatever future children I have can access the same support system. I hope, no, I know I will prepare my children for the battle that high school and other girls can be and teach them that bullying and insults are not to be taken lightly. I’m sure you’re thinking that I couldn’t protect them from everything, but I can prepare them. Why should our daughters have to deal with something we can change or at least make the first stepping stones to change? Do it for your spawn.
For Ourselves
There are books, movies, television shows, and countless other media sources that use the word “slut” or its equivalent (whore, harlot, easy, etc.) derogatorily. Why should we let these things affect us? It’s not just the words, either: it’s the acts of body shaming, photoshopping, and making everyone, even the hottest of celebrities, so self-conscious in their bodies. Slut shaming adds to the issues we already have. When I was researching for this piece and came across the fact that women most perpetuate slut shaming, I was shocked. Once I finally processed it, I could see it. I never realized it when I was younger, and I even took part in it until recently. I thought it was normal. I mean, everyone else did it, so why shouldn’t I?
That’s what’s wrong with the world. We learn from association. That’s where it needs to stop. We may not be able to do much in our lifetimes between work, raising a family, and trying to have a social life, but if we can accomplish just this tiny thing, shouldn’t we try? We owe it to ourselves. Hell, we owe it to our mothers, to every previous generation before us, the ones who fought for our rights to vote and our freedoms from every sexist rule in the book. We have to continue the battle. Share one thing on Facebook, retweet another, involve yourself in an anti-slut shaming function: three small things you can do today for a better tomorrow for all of us.
The reasons to stop slut shaming are infinite; I’ve just named a few. It doesn’t matter how many there are. Find a reason and do it, find something you believe in, and do it!
Standing up for yourself and your fellow ladies is the stepping stone. We live in a world where nothing, and I mean nothing, is impossible with the technology we have available. We have a short amount of time on this Earth and not making the most of it is a waste. So join me and the other ladies of SGP in the fight against the negative use of “slut”! I can’t wait to see what we can do together.
