#YesAllWomen – What It Means and What We Think
CAUTION: The links in this post contains triggering material for almost all women who have had negative interactions with men.
If you’re not yet aware of the #YesAllWomen movement yet, let me educate you: The #YesAllWomen hash-tag is blowing up the internet, and it totally should be. This movement was started by women’s reactions to Elliot Rodger’s massacre in California, where he went out with the purpose of killing women because they wouldn’t sleep with him. Let me clarify; the women he killed never said no to him, they just didn’t choose him to have sex with him. They didn’t even know him. So, obviously he thought they needed to be killed. If you can stomach this, here’s his last video, describing his “day of retribution” and revenge.
With this publicity of Rogers, we are coming across not only more of his YouTube videos, but a whole culture called PUAHate that agrees with his views, is heroizing this mass-murderer, riling up society, scaring everyone, and generally pissing off anyone who has a humanitarian bone in their body. #YesAllWomen is a response to this misogyny, publicly cataloging the acts of violence and aggression experienced by women everyday around the world, at the hands of men. My favorite quote explaining #YesAllWomen comes from this video in Time, which states, “No, not all men are abusive to women – but #YesAllWomen, during the course of their lifetimes, have to deal with sexual harassment, assault, and abuse.”
Now, if you haven’t noticed here at sluttygirlproblems.com, we are strong feminists with strong opinions. We want to take a moment to address this movement with our opinions, stories, and utmost support for the movement and all women who are being mistreated.
Click to see stories from:
- Slutty Girl Problems – Thoughts from Our Founder
- Sorority Whore-Thority
- That Broke Bitch
- Sweet D
- Somewhat a Lady
- Georgia Devereaux
- Angela Blunt
- Ass With Class
Slutty Girl Problems
Please click to redirect to #YesAllWomen – Thoughts from Our Founder
The good: #YesAllWomen is a hash-tag bringing to the population’s attention how mistreated females really are. Personally, as a slut, men treat me like I am already less than, and I’ve taken it because I know I’m literally fucking the system. Now, I’m happy that women are realizing that they have the right to be treated however they want to be and that the male population (#YesAllMen) are realizing that they have a responsibility to ask women how they’d like to be treated. So rock on, ladies! Take back that power! Revel in this moment and get ANGRY, it’s important to be heard and it feels good!
The Bad: I’m more scared then ever now of the man lurking in the shadows, and I’ll be stepping up my self protection game, even though this movement means I shouldn’t have to. Please be careful, we’re all women and we’re all in this together! Be aware: I’m feeling all your feels too.
That Broke Bitch
I went to abroad last year. I was told by my sister that “Men will touch you. Men will grind on you. They will kiss you and you have to kiss them back. It’s polite and he won’t back off. They will try to buy you drinks just be careful they don’t slip anything in them”. Since I always went to the bars with at least one male friend, I would always tell the promiscuous men that I had a boyfriend and point over to my friend. They would instantly back off and find another girl to put the moves on.
Women should not have to live in fear of being drugged at the bar, or in fear of the negative attention that their dresses will cause. They should not have to walk in a group of five or more and pretend to be unavailable so they will be left alone by men. Though there may not be any immediate threats, we are constantly in fear of what is around the corner, and that guy who just whistled at us on the street. We should be able to go wherever we want, whenever we want, with whomever we want, even alone, and feel safe. They say America is land of the free and home of the brave. Though we may be brave, strong, and completely capable of anything we set our minds to, we are not free. I dream of a day when women are free from the fear of sexual assault, racial stereotypes, and can freely express themselves. #YesAllWomen
#YesAllWomen feel pressured, lonely, and scared sometimes. As strong, independent women, we embrace our sexuality and are sluts by choice because it feels good to do what we want with our own bodies. However, there may come a time when we don’t necessarily want to have sex with someone, but it happens anyway. There have been a couple times when I tell my friends, “I’m going to hang out with him tonight, but I don’t want to have sex with him.” When I get back, I tell them that I did precisely the opposite. Why? Being a self proclaimed slutty girl, I know that the only reason most guys text me at night is to get some action, and I feel obliged to give them their satisfaction, or they’ll be upset with me. The truth is, I don’t even enjoy it a lot of the time! #YesAllWomen need to remember to please themselves first and foremost, and not give in to the sexual desires of men each and every time. Now I’ve found the perfect guy that treats me like a princess, and I know that I don’t have to visit a random guys room just to feel intimacy, because now I have something real. I don’t ever feel pressured with him and he makes me realize how great I really am. #YesAllWomen should be secure with themselves and know their self worth because we are beautiful and capable of making our voices heard.
Somewhat a Lady
When I first saw #YesAllWomen, I was immediately behind it for obvious reasons, especially since I consider myself to be a feminist. What I didn’t realize was how directly this movement could affect me.
Last night, the 30th, I was groped not once, but TWICE while down at the infamous “Dirty 6th” as Austinites would call it. I was disgusted at how men think it is okay to grab me in any way and just expect me to be okay with it. Did I just let them grab my ass and be on their way? Absolutely not. I told them both how I did not appreciate that, and what did I do to disrespect them in such a manner that they would do the same? One guy’s female friend actually tried telling me it’s okay, and I snapped back saying how it is NOT okay and that this is MY body. She agreed and apologized on behalf of her friend and said they were leaving. They were a group of men, and they all were giving me a dirty look because I “ruined their night”. What they didn’t realize was they ruined MY night, too. The other guy was by himself and as I yelled at him, he told me to shut up. My instinct reaction was to slap him, and the moment I did that, a bartender hopped over the bar and escorted him out. At first, I thought I should not have reacted in such a violent manner, but he chose to grab my ass, so I chose to grab his face. (Although I still feel like I shouldn’t have slapped him.)
This all feeds into rape culture, which most men do not take seriously at all. I absolutely am behind the hashtag #YesAllWomen, because it’s not a movement for women to control power. It’s a movement to open everyone’s eyes and have them realize that this behavior DOES occur more than you’d think, and unless WE – both men and women – start speaking up, it will not get any better.
#YesAllWomen, because I deserve to be treated with the same amount of respect as a man.
I’ve always fancied myself a strong woman. Raised primarily by a single father and a stoic older brother, my upbringing wasn’t bound in delicate natures. They treated me no differently and held me to the same standards they held themselves. I wasn’t babied, fretted over, or sheltered. I was told that I had the brains and gumption to accomplish almost anything. The things I could not attain were in no way limited by my gender, only the constraints of my aptitude. I have had the privilege of creating my own path, and rarely feel apologetic about my character. About a year ago, I relocated for a relationship, that was mentally abusive. Luckily it took only a few short months of living in the same city to correct my misstep. If it weren’t for the loud voice of my father in my head, and the support of a group of strong women I may still be in the clutches of a man that degraded, disrespected and consistently criticized me. I am a woman, but that does not mean that I am weak or paltry. Being firm in your conviction against oppressive stereotypes does not make you difficult, a bitch, cunt, whore or a slut. It makes you an activist, a protector, nurturer, and leader. It makes you a woman.
#YesAllWomen because treating men with “respect” & “kindness” automatically gives them the assumption that we want to date or hook up with them. Women should not have to act like a bitch in order to shield themselves from these situations. #YesAllWomen because men cannot just handle “No” as the final answer. We shouldn’t have to explain our choices to you or pretend we’re lesbians. Even mentioning dating a girl (whether it be true or not) will make men respond with the degrading question, “Can I watch?”. Um, no! Our sexuality is none of your business, just like your ritual to jack off in the shower is none of mine.
Ass With Class
One Wednesday night after far too many drinks, I found myself in the middle of the dance floor, a place I should never be. Before I knew it, some guy had taken it upon himself to gyrate his junk all up on my ass. I turned around to find a familiar face, a bartender I knew pretty well. After dancing for a while, I told him I was going outside for some air, and he followed. We stood and talked and suddenly he had his hand on my waist pulling my face towards his drunken lips. I pulled back and explained that I was too drunk to be hooking up with anyone tonight. He said it was fine, and he stressed how he firmly believed in “consent,” so we went back inside and went our separate ways. After I had a few more unnecessary drinks and the bars lights came on, it was time for me to go home. As I was leaving, I ran into the bartender again. He asked me where I was going and if I needed a place to stay. After arguing for a few minutes, he convinced me to stay in his apartment just up the street.
Once safely in the somewhat stranger’s bedroom, I climbed into his bed just wanting to pass out. As soon as I got comfortable, I could feel a set of hands groping my ass. I turned towards him and said, “I told you I didn’t want to do anything. I just need to sleep.” He only stopped for a few minutes before he was back at it, this time sliding his hands inside my pants. I sat up quickly and this time with an annoyed tone in my voice I said, “Please stop. I just want to go to bed.” He rambled on about his consent bullshit again, and assured me he’d stop. But not even five minutes later, I could feel his lips on my neck. At this point I gave in; it was more annoying to fight him than to just let it happen. A part of me was afraid that if I didn’t hook up, he’d be mean to me when I went to the bar, and he had always given me my drinks for cheap, so I almost felt obligated to sleep with him. As those thoughts rushed through my head, I got pissed off. Why do I have to sleep with someone to insure he treats me nicely the next time I’m in his bar?! His guy friends don’t have to suck his dick to get $1 drinks. It was then that I pushed him away and got my ass out of bed. Though he begged me to stay, pulling my arm back and even whipping out his dick (as though that would make me want to stay) I got dressed as fast as I could and sprinted down his stairs.
Though feeling empowered by my ability to say no, the feeling of tequila in my stomach was making me feel weak. I puked in the street and walked home barefoot, crying the whole way.
For some more reading on this subject, check out these links:
Thoughts on Misogyny
- Your Princess is in Another Castle – Misogyny, Entitlement, and Nerds
- SGP – The Problem with Entitlement
PUAHate explanation links:
- Jezebel – The Angry Underground World of Failed Pickup Artists
- Jezebel – Lessons from a Day at a PUAHate Chatroom
- MEDIAite – What is PUAHate?