With so many dating apps and websites, you would think dating in the modern era would be easier. There’s bound to be someone out there who will like your profile, right? If you’re a girl swiping for guys, chances are you do get a lot of matches. I know a ton of guys who swipe right on all and then delete matches later. (Weird and rude, but most guys are weird and rude – let’s be real. To any fellas reading, I know, I know, #notallmen.) But if you’re having trouble finding matches and find yourself with an empty inbox, here are a few simple tips to get the messages flowing in!
1. More than one photo is a must.
You know how you look weird in some photos and gorgeous in others? A lot of people feel that one picture isn’t enough to know how a person looks. Go for a variety of photos, from head shots to full body pictures. Look into using Tinder’s algorithm to make your photo with the most right swipes the first picture shown. You might be surprised by what the winner is! Mine was a far away full body shot where you couldn’t see much of my face or personality, but it did show my figure, as well as a personality quirk. I’m in Venice in the photo, so it’s clear that I enjoy traveling!
2. Don’t go with all group photos.
A truly dedicated swiper might go through each picture and figure out who the common denominator is, but most of us will just get frustrated and swipe left – or swipe right if we think at least one person in the group is cute. To be honest, only having group photos is a deal breaker for me. Who are you? Do you ever spend time alone?
3. And don’t load up on cliches.
For guys, this means don’t only have photos of you with a fish, a gun, or a truck. (Is that just a somewhat rural area thing?) For girls, this means don’t solely rely on selfies and quirky snapchat filters. Include a candid or a picture from a recent night out or event. Do something to really showcase your amazing personality!
4. Actually have a bio.
Okay, some people are on Tinder just to scope out the hotties. But a good bio can make someone who was on the fence swipe right! Short, sweet, and clever is generally the way to go. If you have public accounts and feel comfortable doing so, link your Spotify and Instagram. (Warning: Fuckboys will start DMing you on Instagram as a result, but it allows the good ones to get a glimpse into your life and personality.)
5. Be clever and original.
Remember how I said a short, sweet, and clever bio is a must? Well, it’s not clever if you’re copying-and-pasting some quote that everyone has in their bio. I’ve seen the same “Time Person of the Year 2006” joke 800 times. (FYI: If you’re lucky enough never to have encountered this one, the person of the year in 2006 was you. As in all of us.) Come up with your own witticisms! Sure, not everyone is funny, but that doesn’t mean you can’t insert something unique that’ll catch someone’s eye. Attract nerds by including what Harry Potter house you’re in. Share a quirky fact about a tattoo you got when you were drunk. Do something that people don’t see on every single profile!
P.S. Dudes – stop it with the “I’m 6 foot because apparently height matters.” You know it matters to some people, just like you might prefer plus sized or athletic figures. You can usually tell someone’s build from a photo, but not always the height. That’s why people ask.
6. Try out a group date.
When you’re hanging out with your friends, use the Tinder setting that allows you to swipe through groups together. Maybe someone will match for one of your friends, but have a friend that’ll be into you! Once I matched with a guy this way, but ended up hitting it off with his sexy friend instead! Plus, hanging out in a group is generally safer and helps you to act more like your genuine self in an awkward situation.
And one you’ve gotten your match…
- Don’t be afraid to message first.
- Don’t be one of those “oh, so you’re not going to talk to me?” people, either. If someone swiped right on you but then ignores your message, maybe they thought you were cute but found your message to be boring. Move TF on. Maybe they’re just busy and will be back later. [insert shrug emoji here]
- Don’t just rely on gifs. We can see what the most popular gifs are and tell whether you thought about something funny to send or just randomly clicked.
- And lastly, consider saying more than, “hi whatsup.” Shoot your shot. Throw a cheesy pick up line out there. Ask me a question that you absolutely need to know the answer to before dating someone. Just, for the love of God, don’t share some “witty” copy pasta you found online – you know, the same one you’re sharing with every other match.
Good luck and happy dating, hooking up, or whatever it is you’re looking for on Tinder!