A lot of factors go into having a fab orgasm. That’s what we should’ve been taught in Sex Ed: “Class, today we are going to learn how to have and give a fabulous orgasm.” Not a three day training course on how to put a condom on a banana or how abstinence is the best method. An orgasm a day would make the world such a friendly place to live in. Since Coach Carr failed to prepare us for orgasms in the bed room, SGP is here to educate you. Having a fabulous orgasm isn’t just about technique; it’s about being totally INTO it. There are many levels of orgasms, ranging anywhere from a muffled moan into the sheets and a coy hip thrust to an entire body convulsion with hard, deep moans. Having a strong, fabulous orgasm always leaves you feeling like your partner took a piece of your soul with them.
Lesson number one: eye contact is everything. Staring into your partner’s eyes while they’re thrusting into you or pleasuring you in anyway builds intensity. Making eye contact while you’re downstairs on your partner, or riding them and watching them receive pleasure from your hard work, is so gratifying that it may just make your pussy tingle. Nothing is sexier than making eye contact while you’re both climaxing. When you make eye contact with your partner during climax, it’s like you acquire tunnel vision – the squeaking bed, your roommate within earshot, or even the fact you had the shittiest day slips away because you’re fucking zoned in.
What if you’re in a position that prevents you from making eye contact? Mirrors work miracles with keeping the seduction and eye contact factor strong. (Read more about mirror sex here.)
I’m not just talking foreplay, but the sexual tension that builds before you get to rip each other’s clothes off in the bedroom. Building up sexual anticipation will get you REALLY into it and one step closer to reaching that fucking fabulous orgasm. Sometimes you have to get a quickie in before work and you have sex out of convenience more than anything. But to feel like you need your partner inside of you is a feeling that comes from the buildup. The kind of buildup where you feel like you have to change your panties because you’re in public and feel like there’s a swamp between your legs, or you have to tuck your boner into your waistband and hunch. Maybe it’s some wine that makes you two a little frisky, or a make out session that gets a little rough, or you’re playing hard to get, or maybe you two have been out all night flirting and showing excessive PDA and can’t wait to get back to the bedroom. When you’re worked up and really into the moment, your body is ready for that fabulous orgasm.
Being familiar with your partner’s body and vice versa makes achieving that fab orgasm a lot easier – obviously. Knowing what each other likes and having that go-to spot is what allows you both to stay in the mood and remain totally into it. Sometimes, right before an orgasm, I get into this weird zone where I just want my partner to keep repeating a phrase that I know will get me off. I also find it easier to make that almost-creepy, no-blinking eye contact with someone I’m familiar with, rather than a one night stand, because I know I won’t freak them out. Sometimes bedroom eyes get lost in the orgasm shuffle and you end up looking like Fetty Wap. Being familiar with your partner helps you know which buttons to press on your partner to create that build up and sexual tension to set the mood up. Know what they like you to wear, what music to have on and what kind of wine to pour so they begin to shed inhibitions and layers of clothing. Yes, please.
Which leads me to my next point: communication. Some might like to listen to the sounds of bump and grind, others enjoy the dirty talk or maybe even directing your partner to the promise land. Being familiar with your partner can make you feel more comfortable to be open about what you want and how you want it. Or even get a little weird with the dirty talk. My partner is called “Daddy” in the bedroom and a reoccurring phrase is “Daddy’s home!” Then again, we’ve been together for over a year, so we are extremely familiar and indulge in every one of these keys in order to have multiple fabulous orgasms. We’re greedy bitches. But be greedy, want as many orgasms and the best sex you and your partner can achieve, and get there by being totally caught up in the moment. Forget that the rest of the world exists and get lost in some tantric shit.
The End Result
Whether it’s getting head, riding, doggy style or missionary (I won’t get into the Kama Sutra moves, little freaks) a fabulous orgasm can be acquired with a combination of any and all of these factors. Light some candles, make a baby makin’ music playlist and/or dim the lights. As long as you’re focused in on your partner and vice versa, your sex is bound to be intense. And always remember this piece of advice from our own Man Whore: sex is about the act – not the finale.