Welcome to the first article in my new series for SGP called The ABCs of Sex! This series will go through the alphabet of sex, offering hot tips on how to improve your sex life and orgasmic potential. Sound like fun? Cool. Then let’s begin!
Autoeroticism
Masturbation, self-pleasure, solo sex, Jilling off, or whatever you’d like to call it, autoeroticism is the act of sexually stimulating oneself. I think this topic is so important, I wrote a book about it: “Jill’n Off: A Girl’s Guide to Solo Sex”, back in 2003. In those days, female sexuality and masturbation were not openly talked about. Today, thankfully, we are much more open about sex and masturbation and even have an International Masturbation Day to celebrate it. So here are some reasons why you should do it… masturbation that is.
Why Solo Sex?
Both women and men have an unlimited potential for erotic pleasure: many erogenous zones, various ways of experiencing orgasms, diverse ways of partaking in pleasure, and so much more. But in order to reach our orgasmic potential, we have to learn how to self-pleasure ourselves. Unfortunately, they don’t teach you this stuff in school.
Autoeroticism is how we learn about our own sexual preferences, what our bodies like and dislike, what magic buttons to push, how to orgasm, as well as our erotic and pleasure potential. Exploring your erogenous zones by yourself gives you permission to just experience, discover and feel without any performance anxiety or specific goals. Once you learn your own preferences, you can then communicate to your partner how to pleasure you best, and communication is the foundation of a happy, loving relationship. Also, claiming your own sexuality, and loving yourself, empowers and liberates all other parts of your life.
Masturbation is Good for You!
Masturbation improves your mental, physical and emotional health. Here are some of the best ways:
- Masturbation helps one establish a healthy philosophy about sex, as well as lose sexual inhibitions that may limit you from having a satisfying sex life with your partners.
- Orgasms are great stress relievers that release feel-good mood-boosting endorphins to help fight off depression.
- “Paddling the pink canoe” can build resistance to yeast infections and relieve menstrual cramps and other pain by releasing the amino acid oxytocin, the hormone of “love”.
- Solo sex helps build a stronger pelvic floor (your PC muscle) which leads to better pleasure, control, and orgasms.
- Masturbation helps boost your confidence, is empowering, and can help make you a better lover.
- Orgasms improve the immune system’s function, by increasing testosterone in the body to help the flow of the hormone DHEA, which reportedly helps reduce the signs of aging, reduces symptoms of menopause, reduces obesity, and may help reduce the risk of osteoporosis in older women by increasing bone mass.
- Sexologists recognize that masturbation is a normal, natural act that promotes vitality and health.
Masturbation Tips
There are lots of ways to masturbate and no way is right or wrong. However, here are some tips that can help you in your exploration.
- Be open to new experiences and try not to have any goals or expectations. Just have fun and explore.
- Investigate all your erogenous zones and get to know what you like best.
- Get up close and personal with your genitals by using a mirror to explore your lovely vulva as you pleasure yourself to learn more about your own body and its pleasure response.
- Practice Tantric orgasmic breathing by breathing deep and slow to help you relax and prolong orgasm. Short rapid breaths (the fire breath) energize the libido and can help you orgasm faster. Orgasmic breathing directs sexual energy throughout the body to intensify orgasms.
- Rock your hips to the rhythm of your breath and clench and unclench your PC muscle to expand the orgasm building inside of you.
- Vocalize by opening your throat and making sounds. The sex and throat chakras are closely connected and the more noise (moans) you make during masturbation the more responsive your body will become.
- Visualize your orgasm expanding through your body and becoming more powerful and expansive.
- Don’t stop. Women have the potential to have multiple and continuous orgasms after the first climax. So, don’t stop stimulating after you obtain orgasm and see if you can extend that pleasure, building it up again to achieve longer, more powerful and continuous Big “O”s!
