Reaching out to a girl you’ve never spoken to before. Getting to know an intriguing, attractive woman. This is a situation that many guys struggle with. As general as we assume it may be, each individual has their own personal preference of how they would like to be approached. Because of this, there is no 100%, done deal, step by step guide. However, we’re here to help. Think of this as more of a well thought out suggestion from a slutty girl to you.

Remain Calm

As scary as going up to a girl you find attractive may be, please don’t freak out about it. The only thing that will make the situation worse is you fumbling over your words and profusely sweating as you try to talk to her. Remain as calm as possible. The absolute worst case scenario is that she wants nothing to do with you. So what? Then she’s clearly not the right girl for you and has saved you some trouble. It may be a blow to your ego, but that just means you have to brush it off and head on to the next gal.

Be Polite

Remember that not every girl is comfortable getting approached by someone interested in her. It may be for a multitude of different reasons including things you may not even expect. So just remember to be polite and respectful of her boundaries. Say “excuse me” or “hello” when you approach her. Tell her your name and introduce yourself right away so she knows who you are. Ask her if it’s okay if you have a seat next to her. Give her some space when you first walk up, because you never know if she’s comfortable talking to a stranger.

Strike Up Conversation

If she seems comfortable enough to allow you to sit or talk for a minute, get the conversation going! Start by telling her why you came over. Let her know that you thought she was beautiful, or you couldn’t help but overhear that she is studying the same thing you are. Whatever the reason was, let her know why you approached her. That will ease you into a conversation and make her more open to talking to you.

Tell the Truth

If she asks questions about you, answer them honestly. I know sometimes you may want to whomp up your life story and make yourself seem more interesting, but that’s the worst thing you could do. If she starts to base her likingness for you off lies, she’s bound to find out the truth and then you’ve wasted both of your time. Be honest and up front. Tell her how old you are, what you do for a living, and some other general information.

Disclaimer: Being honest does not mean you should whip out some sob story or pompous fact about yourself. No one wants to hear upon first meeting you that your girlfriend of three years dumped you and you’re heartbroken. If you somehow heroically saved a child’s life, now is not the time to bring it up. Doing either of these things makes it seem like you’re looking for pity or attention. Just don’t lie when she asks you something or make up an exaggerated story, that’s all!

Feel It Out

Make sure you’re keeping an eye on both her verbal responses and her body language. If she’s facing away from you, crossing her arms, or using her phone, she most likely is anxious or uncomfortable. Also, if she keeps giving you one word answers or is really brief and to the point, she may not want the conversation to continue. Excuse yourself and let her know maybe later you two can continue the conversation if she wants to. By allowing her to approach you later, this may cause her to want to talk to you more. She will likely appreciate that you’re respecting her feelings and boundaries. If she was just being hesitant, giving her the power to continue the conversation may make her feel comfortable enough to talk to you later or exchange numbers.

If all goes well . . .

Ask For Her Number

Ask her if it would be okay to get her number, so you could get to know her more or take her out to lunch. Make sure when you do this you both exchange numbers, so she recognizes your name when you reach out to her. That way it’s completely mutual, you both swapped numbers, and if she wants to reach out to you first, she can.

Text Her the Next Day

I know some girls hate this, but I’m recommending it be done anyway. Text her the next afternoon and say something along the lines of: “Hi, it’s (whoever) from (wherever you met) yesterday. Just wanted to see if you wanted to (do some fun activity or grab some food)?” Then wait. The waiting is probably the worst part because in today’s world we thrive off immediate satisfaction. Don’t consume your mind if she doesn’t respond immediately. Chances are she really is just busy. If she doesn’t respond after a full twenty-four hours, I’d assume she may not be interested. Don’t lose hope – sometimes things come up. But an entire day is usually a pretty big window to respond to a text.

If she says no, respect that and end it with something like “Okay, it was nice meeting you!” This increases your chances that she’ll change her mind because you’re being respectful of her wants and needs.

If she says maybe, or she’s not sure, let her know that you’re up to do whatever she’s comfortable with. And again, give her the power to contact you if she decides she wants to meet up. Always make sure you’re allowing her to do what she’s most comfortable with. She’ll appreciate that and it will be a nice change of pace, making her more likely to say yes.

I already know some girls are going to read this and disagree with some things I say. Everyone is different in what they want and need when getting to no someone new. The main thing is to be respectful and polite. Regardless of exactly what she wants, you can’t go wrong with actin like a good person.