For many, Truth or Dare evokes eye rolls, snickers, or even horrific sleepover flashbacks to untimely streaking incidents. Most adults think of Truth or Dare as something squarely set in their past, a relic of halcyon days left behind alongside middle school crushes and lockers. If you’ve written the game off, you might be missing out. Have you played it as an adult? This simple childhood standby is vastly underrated!

The traditional rules of the game are quite simple: One player asks another to choose truth or dare, and depending on the choice, they pose either a question to be answered honestly, or a dare to be completed. Its simplicity is part of the allure: Truth or Dare can easily improve your sex life as an icebreaker, an intimacy-enhancer, and an eroticism-injector.

Truth or Dare isn’t always the perfect icebreaker, but in the right setting, it’s a fabulous way to get to know someone. Using the game to get to know a potential partner can yield answers to questions about hygiene and grooming, boundaries, and safer sex practices in a way that diffuses the potential awkwardness from the discussion.

Location matters a great deal when using the game for this purpose; you’re likely to be more comfortable playing a friendly game with a new date out in public than you may be in their home, where the stakes could be significantly more naked. You can always refuse a request you’re uncomfortable with, but it’s even easier when the setting doesn’t permit overly risqué behavior; you’re unlikely to be allowed back into your favorite coffee shop if you moon the baristas.

With that said, don’t underestimate the most effective barrier of all – distance. You can easily play Truth or Dare while messaging each other before your date! Playing a game before your date is scheduled can give you an idea whether you’d like to be sexually engaged with that person or not, to say nothing of whether you’d like to meet, or if you’ll be a good match in other ways.

When used to enhance intimacy, Truth or Dare can create a safer space for you and your partner to experiment with new things without fully committing to them on a consistent basis. The game format makes it easier to opt-out when you’re uncomfortable, creating a low-pressure opportunity to explore new kinks together – a partner posing a dare to you provides you with an opportunity to fulfill their desires, whereas choosing truth may give you the opportunity to reveal some of your own fantasies.

Selecting “truth” may also give you an opportunity to discuss things you don’t like; if your partner’s dirty talk is cringe-worthy, the right question from them during truth may give you an opportunity to tell them their bedroom banter is coming off more Muppet-esque than Fifty Shades.

It’s important to respect your partner’s limits when you play together, and to carefully consider the information you want to find out – do you actually want to know how many people your partner slept with in the past? Are you going to be comfortable if their number is higher than yours? Exes are also a delicate topic – sometimes painful for them, sometimes jealousy-inspiring for you. The important thing here is to recognize that this is an opportunity to start a conversation – so choose that conversation wisely.

Finally, it would be remiss not to discuss the ways that the game can be an erotic experience. Truth or Dare can be played with a partner to provide you both with opportunities to further explore your passions, to experiment with role-playing, or to get your exhibitionistic or voyeuristic jollies. Obeying instructions from a partner can be quite a thrill for some, especially when they’re sexual instead of mundane. The more sexual or advanced the dares are, the more unexpected things you may learn about your partner.

Give Truth or Dare a chance; whether you use it to break the ice on a date, increase existing rapport and intimacy with a partner, or to dip your toes into new pools of eroticism alone or with others, it’s an incredibly flexible game, limited only by your inhibitions and imagination.