Remember when you first learned about sex? You were probably in middle school, sitting in the back of a classroom as a teacher went on about the benefits of practicing safe sex or (undoubtedly) abstinence. You blushed. You cringed. You (possibly) never ever wanted to partake in such antics. You’re a little older now, a lot wiser, and likely more experienced in the sack. But, it’s safe to say that when it comes to sex, not everything we’ve learned in middle school is still applicable to our adult lives. In light that we only get wiser with age, it’s important to improve your life in the bedroom in order to achieve full satisfaction with your significant other.

Try Role-Play

A favorite way to get intimate with a partner is through role-play! Maybe you don’t feel prepared for that. Well, here is an idea! Go into the back of your closet and find last year’s Halloween costume and include it in role-play scenarios with your partner. Or take it up a notch with lingerie costumes specifically designed for role-play.

Sexual role-play is an excellent addition to your bedroom routine since it can make you feel more relaxed and less inhibited. Role-playing, however, doesn’t mean that you’re bored with your lover. On the contrary, acting out fantasies can both signal and create strength in a relationship because it depends on trust, vulnerability, communication, and intimacy. Part of what makes sexual role-playing so exciting is that you can be anyone or anything you want. And this, in turn, frees you to express any desire you might have.

Talk About It

Before you get started, you and your partner should discuss how it will all go down. Will you use costumes, props and scripts, or just your imagination? Who will play which role? Are there any scenarios that are off limits? Like with any new bedroom activity, start slowly and discuss what turns you on and what doesn’t.  For some couples, a wig, a pair of fishnet stockings, a doctor’s kit, a mask, or a simple French maid’s uniform can get things steamy in the bedroom. Others, however, like to devise elaborate scenarios and act them out both inside and outside the home. Remember, there’s no right or wrong way to do it. Just be open, trust your partner, and give yourself permission to laugh until you feel comfortable. And, whichever role you initially fancy, don’t forget to switch it up. You never know what you like until you try it!

Give it a Go

Keep in mind that some of the more common role-play scenarios, including the teacher/student, doctor/patient, john/prostitute, and patron/stripper roles, can involve a power differential between “dominant” and “submissive” characters. Should you decide to explore one of these scenarios, be sure you and your partner discuss each other’s roles and know your limits. You can also use a “safe word” to signify that you want to stop.

So set aside an evening, turn off the phone, and give that old Halloween costume a second life by exploring this new technique together. Be spontaneous. Creative. Playful. And, most of all, enjoy yourselves. You’ve got nothing to lose but your inhibitions (and your identity for a few hours!)

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