Astroglide is a fairly well-known name in the personal lubricant business. They have a variety of different products, from water-based lubes and gels to silicone, flavored, warming and even lubes designed specifically for conception (!!).  I’ve tried their silicone variant, and it was grand. Will their water-based alternative match up?

Want it now? Buy it here!

Howwever, we prefer Astroglide’s Premium Silicone Lubricant (though it is not safe for use with silicone toys).

The Branding

Astroglide’s signature purple branding is has some pinkish tones introduced in this product’s packaging, which could easily have given it a very feminine aesthetic. However, the branding and overall design negates this, giving it a really gender-neutral feel despite the connotations attached to everything pink and purple. Win for non-gendered products! Also, like all water-based lubricants, Atroglide Liquid is latex- and silicone-friendly, allowing you to use it with condoms as well as all your favourite toys.

Texture

The texture of the lube is thin and slippery. I squeezed a glob on the back of my hand and it rolled in one long drip down my arm, maintaining some kind of cohesion until smeared around.  It has a vague odour, but it’s hard to identify of what, exactly. It’s very faint. However, it does taste slimy and bitter, with a confusing sweetish aftertaste. The feeling of it is almost sticky, and it makes tiny little strings when you touch it and pull your hand back. Honestly, the only thing I can compare the texture to is the mucus-ey stuff left by snails. Except, like, a lot of it. Imagine a whole sachet of snail-trail. That’s what a sample size of Astroglide Liquid is like.

The drying phase is a bit awkward, turning thick and even stickier and making even more snail-trail strings that stretch it almost the length of a ruler. Wow! Impressive snail-trail strings! Imagine that betwixt your thighs. It also dries to a slightly oily residue, but takes forever to lose tackiness. Astroglide’s website claims that clean-up is easy, and I am glad, because I would definitely want to exorcise this from my nethers ASAP. But I would never know. Because I never allowed Astroglide Liquid past my elbow.

Three Bad Ingredients

Astroglide Liquid contains the Big Three No-No’s of lube: glycerine, propylene glycol, and parabens. And a new one I didn’t know about! Friends, let me introduce you to quaternium 15, which Safe Cosmetics describes as “a known skin toxicant and allergen” and “formaldehyde-releasing chemical.” Fun! Oh Astroglide, you teach me new things. Just in case you didn’t know, glycerine is a sugary substance (explaining Astroglide Liquid’s sweetish aftertaste) that can fuel yeast infections, parabens are estrogenic and increased oestrogen levels have been linked to cancer, and propylene glycol is super useful in allowing such nasties to permeate the skin barrier.

One reviewer on the website claimed that this lube caused a burning pain during use. Astroglide’s website admits that some of their products do contain parabens, but that there are no clear health risks associated with this. The website also claims that any topical product can cause irritation. I like your Legalese, Astroglide.

So my ratings: The Siren & One Devil (and that devil is Satan himself, because this product is super bad)

Final Thoughts

I would not ever purchase this product for myself, nor would I advise anyone to use this. In this day and age, consumers are becoming more educated and better at Googling stuff. Astroglide offers products which do not contain these ingredients, so why use them in the first place? Especially when the product is genuinely awful to use. It’s time to be better, Astroglide. We believe in you.

If you do choose to purchase this lube, you can get it at Adam & Eve starting at $18.

Free gift when you spend $17 or more!
Get 25% OFF One Item with coupon code “SGP25”
Or you can get our favorite lubricant, Wicked.
Free returns for 90 days!

We prefer Astroglide’s Premium Silicone Lubricant (though it is not safe for use with silicone toys).

 

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Note: This review is sponsored, and I received this product for free in exchange for an honest review. Some links are affiliate links, which help support the site. All opinions are 100% honest and my own. I only recommend things I would use myself! Read more about my reviews.