Depending on the source you find, and the study that was undertaken, scientists estimate that only around twenty-five percent of women consistently orgasm from penetrative sex. Of course, these studies generally don’t specify what type of orgasm is being counted (vaginal, clitoral, g-spot) but I would hazard a guess that the number is perhaps a little lower. Certainly, when I speak to my friends of all ages, and the types of people I come across as a part of my work, it seems that an orgasm gained solely from penetration is somewhat of an elusive creature. Orgasms certainly do become a lot more attainable once you bring fingers, tongues, twenty-five minutes of foreplay, and vibrating devices of various descriptions into the equation, but an additional stimulation free climax? Quite a rare thing.

Dick in pussy fornication.

But what about those women who just cannot orgasm from penetrative sex? Do they still enjoy it? What does it mean to them? I am one of those women, and here I will explain how I manage to enjoy dick in pussy fornication, sans climax.

As I have mentioned before in a previous post, I was a matter of weeks under the tender age of fifteen when I lost my virginity in a field to a guy who is now married to an old school friend. It was nothing special to say the least. It was dark, we were drunk, and the side effects of cheap wine did nothing to arouse any feelings of amore, either in me, or between my legs. Needless to say, I was rather unimpressed and had sort of accepted that sex was something that was fun for men, and a fuss about nothing for women.

Is it in yet?

Time went on and my sexual appetite flourished. I have had boyfriends and fuck buddies ranging from “is it in yet” to “don’t you dare point that thing at me”, and yet an orgasm remained painfully elusive. That is not to say that I didn’t enjoy some of the encounters – I love being fucked. I love the feeling of my partner being inside me, I still feel shudders of pleasure, I still get wet, I love that sense of being completely owned, and I love it when they come inside me. I have come to terms with the fact that I will not have an orgasm from fucking alone, and that has allowed me to relax and enjoy other parts of the experience.

I also believe that there are two different kinds of fuck – the “I remember why I am fucking you” fuck, and the “I remember why I love you” fuck. The first applies to one-night stands, fuck buddies, hook-ups with a particularly attractive ex, and the crazy and downright filthy sex you have with your partner. The second applies almost exclusively to relationships, but to have a successful and well-rounded relationship, I believe you need both – a lot – and in pretty equal doses.

The “I remember why I love you” fuck.

Just because I cannot orgasm just from my partner being inside me, doesn’t mean I don’t crave the intimacy it brings. When referring to the “I remember why I love you” fuck – more commonly known as “making love” – I am a firm believer that this intimate act speaks louder than words and acts as an integral bond and another form of communication that brings you closer together each time you do it. Finishing the act in a crescendo of earth-shattering pleasure isn’t why I need it; it is the psychology behind it – the intimacy, the love, and the feeling of being one that makes me lose my mind.

The “I remember why I am fucking you” fuck.

In a different way, I crave the need to have an equal amount of “I remember why I am fucking you” sex. This is the type of sex that is animalistic, wild, passionate, uninhibited, kinky, rough, and possibly frowned upon in some rather conservative countries. This is the sort of fuck that makes you feel like a complete sex goddess, a carnal creature of pleasure, and an utter nymphomaniac. It keeps the fires of passion and desire burning brightly and forms a fundamentally important part of keeping the excitement in a relationship alive. It is the part of a physical union which allows you to explore your kinks and fantasies and, hence the name, reminds you just what it is that drives you crazy about your partner. This type of sex isn’t exclusive just to relationships and is often experienced with fuck buddies, or, I imagine, at swinging parties, but a healthy relationship between two people cannot function without it.

I feel that a lot of pressure is put on us as women, from other women, to believe that if we don’t have an orgasm, we aren’t doing it right. The fact of the matter is that some women just cannot come from penetration alone and either need a whole lotta lubing up, or a whole lotta additional stimulation to get there – but this is okay.

Btw, we love this water-based, body-safe lubricant from Pink.

Enjoying sex is not just about the climax, nor is it purely about your own pleasure or the pleasure of your partner. It is about creating an experience that you share together, whether it be wanton fucking that wakes the neighbors, or lovemaking that brings you closer together both physically and emotionally.

Pleasure is a multifaceted entity.

My point in this article is that sex does not have to be about having an orgasm and you do not have to give up on it just because you cannot reach it. Pleasure is a multifaceted entity and you need to learn to experience it in other ways and to understand that the physical act, and the emotions that are aroused in both types of fucking, are great indicators of whether your relationship has got what it takes to go the distance.

Sex, fucking, and making love don’t have to be about orgasms. The sooner that we as women realize this, the sooner we can start to expand our understanding of sex whilst finding new ways to enjoy it.