Slutty Girl Problems

Sign up for FREE weekly tips to empower your sex life.

The Big Dick Survival Guide

So you meet this guy and he’s everything you would ever want: strong, sexy, adorable, funny, smart… the whole package. You’re getting on great and you start making out. And you’re like, “Wow, this is gonna happen.” And happen, it does. You start touching each other, your shirt comes off, his shirt comes off. Next is the bra. Then the pants. And then, you realize…

His dick is HUGE.

Maybe it’s long. Maybe it’s wide. Worse – maybe it’s both. You have this moment when you’re like, “This is full on porn star dick. I can’t even deal. Like, what the fuck am I supposed to do with all of this?”

First: take a deep breath. Big dicks come on guys of all shapes and sizes. Previous pseudoscience tying dick size to shoe size and/or height has been proven false. The only thing science is now saying may predict dick size is index finger size relative to ring finger size. (Pretty crazy, right?) But unless you’re checking out a guy’s index finger size (*cue awkward conversation about why you’re looking at his hands*) you’re not gonna know until you get to that moment when it’s too awkward to turn away just because of dick size. I’m here to tell you there’s no need to turn and run. With a little bit of knowledge and a few tips, you’ll be working the extra large dick like a pro in no time.

How Can That Thing Possibly Fit Inside Me?

As I always tell friends, remember, your vagina can literally push out a baby. Like, babies are fucking huge compared to penises. Granted, there’s some complications with that, like tears and injury… But for most penises, your vagina can (usually) handle it – with the right preparation, that is. There’s a number of things you can do to get ready for it.

Editor’s Note: Every body is different, both vaginas and penises. If insertion is causing you pain – please take that as your body’s cue to stop. We recommend several techniques like foreplay, relaxation, lubrication, and trying different positions – but if you are experiencing pain, please stop. We recommend seeing your doctor if you have any pain, and definitely not pushing yourself past your limits. You know your body best!

Remember to use great lube! We recommend Wicked Aqua Lubricant.


The most important thing is to make sure you’re aroused and excited. Foreplay becomes the utmost of importance. With smaller guys, you might be able to take the dick right in, but trust me, it WILL be painful if you try to shove an extra large peen in before you’re ready. As you’re playing around with foreplay– nipple play, making out, touching, hitting, tying each other up, etc. – play with his dick, too. Get comfortable with the size of it in your hands, in your mouth, and anywhere else. Basically – own that dick.

Keep in mind however, that oral sex with a big dick is different than with an average dick. Also keep in mind that he does not (nor should he) expect you to deep throat if he’s too big. If you have a gag reflex, or taking a whole dick in your mouth at once weirds you out (and let’s face it, no one eats a whole banana all at once), then that’s ok. The tip of the penis (especially on uncut guys) is much more sensitive than the shaft anyways.

What do you do if you’re still terrified of taking his D because as it gets harder and harder it just becomes bigger and bigger? Take a deep breath, and try to change your thinking about it. Anxiety never made an orgasm. Imagine you’re a super sexy porn star. Picture yourself in a porno of your very own (bonus points if you actually film it). Then, know that you’re in total control of the situation.

Putting It In

Once you get to the point where you feel ready to go for it, make sure you slather up his dick and your pussy with lots and lots of high quality, water-based lubricant. Distract yourself as he’s entering you by continuing to make out with him or doing something with another body part that will keep your mind off thoughts like, “Ow, this is going to hurt.” If it feels a bit tight when he’s first inside, ask him to stop and just kinda hang out there for a second while the pussy expands, then slowly start going at it.

For big dicks, especially, when you’re inexperienced with them, I highly recommend girl-on-top positions as they allow you to control the motion and pace. Other good positions include side by side positions, because neither of you can thrust that far, such as spooning (which is a doubly good position because he can’t go too deep AND you’re cuddling which releases all those feel-good hormones)! Some people recommend missionary with legs closed, but honestly, it’s not my fave when I’m dealing with extra large dicks. Personally, I like to have some modicum of control, which missionary doesn’t really give me.

If you’re still having trouble, talk to him about keeping things slow and letting him know when he can come inside of you and how fast and/or deep you like it.

We’re serious about the lube! Try our favorite here.

Another thing to consider is, if you’re anything like me, there will be times in your cycle that’ll feel more flexible than others. During the times of the month when you feel tighter than a clam shell, take it extra slow and easy with the foreplay and you’ll find you’ll still be able to take his dick in time.

The last very important thing to remember is that your pussy is a wonderful thing that can stretch, stretch, stretch more than you think it can. Meaning, there are very few penises too big for it (remember, it’s capable of releasing babies).

So please don’t make the mistake I did when I was 18, thinking that my relationship was doomed because it seemed like his penis wouldn’t fit. In reality, since we were both virgins, we had absolutely no idea what we were doing.

But now you DO know what you’re doing! Use your new knowledge wisely and you might just find that you love how deeply that big dick can penetrate!

A // Contributor

You know that friend that somehow knows all the technical terms about sex but is totally not weird about it? I'm that friend. My name is A. I'm in my mid-twenties and my comfort with sex and discussing myriad aspects of it has come from my long experience of not only having sex, but also from growing up in a pretty sex-open household. That friend I mentioned at the beginning? I never had that friend because I was always that friend. This blog stems from years of self learning.. self learning that I'm still doing and will continue to do. I hope to create a safe space in my writing for everyone to write in and ask questions. While I do not pretend to know everything, I will put my best in every answer. When I'm not writing? I'm playing with my kitten. Talking dirty to my man and dancing around the house in my underwear to Ciara. Follow me on social media: @anastasiastrgar on Twitter, theladyscales on Tumblr. Others coming soon!

3 Comments to The Big Dick Survival Guide

  1. harlotbronte

    I’m completely sex positive, I agree a lot of people might be able to fit a larger dick in their vagina than they think they can (and that foreplay is under-utilised and leads to a stretchier pelvic floor and a lengthened vagina.) I get that.

    But “Meaning, there is NO penis too big for it” is totally, totally incorrect. When we push babies out, our bodies are releasing so many hormones to allow this that just aren’t released during sex. Even WITH those hormones, a huge amount of women tear their perineum and need stitches. Not even mentioning the vaginal opening has limited stretching compared to the pelvic floor and so can tear more easily. Vaginas are not gonna stretch to baby-size unless they are actually having a baby.

    I believed all this about no-penis-too-big until I tried to fit a huge one in me. I used lube, I was on top and went slowly, we tried multiple times in different positions, hours of foreplay – and he tore me so badly I needed stitches, caused inflammation from micro-tears that left me inflamed for 5 weeks. I went to my gynaecologist, my women’s health physio (who deals EXCLUSIVELY with vaginas/pelvic floors) and my practice nurse. They all confirmed – some vaginas are stretchier than others, some penises just won’t fit in some vaginas. It’s just a fact. That huge penis might fit fine in some vaginas, for others it is a no-go zone. They explained about how the baby analogy is wrong as stated above. And that penis I tried to fit in me? It was too big for my vagina. (It was 8 1/2 inches and 7 inch girth.)

    I love this website and when this happened to me, I googled everything, and so many articles said “hey any size penis fits in any size vagina” that I felt like I was wrong, like there was something wrong with me. I felt like I wasn’t trying hard enough, and I blamed myself for the significant pain and trauma I went through.

    So for anyone who has tried everything suggested: don’t blame yourself. You’re not the one at fault. It’s not because you haven’t tried hard enough. Maybe his penis really is too big for your vagina, and that’s okay. Maybe you can try other forms of sex that aren’t penetrative (or use sex toys for penetration), or maybe you can move on. Just please, please don’t blame yourself.

    • Slutty Girl Problems
      Site Administrator

      Thank you so much for sharing your story! It is so important, and your experience is so powerful – and often overlooked. We are so sorry you had to go through all that!

      Certainly, some penises might just be too big – and it varies widely depending on person to person. Every one’s body is different, so what works for one person might not work for another.

      We would always recommend that if insertion is causing you pain, to stop immediately to prevent any injury. Even with foreplay, relaxation, lubrication, and trying different positions – pain is your body’s cue to stop. We always recommend seeing your doctor if you have any pain, and definitely not pushing yourself past your limits. You know your body best!

      We’ve added an Editor’s Note to reflect this.

      And of course, we agree any pain is not your fault! Every body is different. If anything, blame biology! 🙂

      We hope you’re all healed and have a fabulously satisfying sex life here on forward!

  2. maryann

    i have had as much as 10 inches and thick if your partner takes his time working it in slowly it becomes a very pleasureable time

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.