You’re at the bar with your friends, minding your own business and having a great time. Then, you feel the burn of a death stare to the back of your head. Turning around, you see her. That stupid bitch that has been talking smack and is always in your business.

You could:

A. Walk over and confront the bitch, causing a scene.
B. Give her a nice big fake ass smile and wave. (My personal move)

Sure, I’ve done option A before, and yes, you’ll put her in her place. But then you look like the one starting the drama and it could end up not in your favor, which gives her another thing to talk about. I found that 9 times out of 10, option B works more in my favor. This is because either they’re embarrassed that they’ve been caught and feel like the idiot that they are, or when they decide to confront me, which makes them the one causing drama. And you still get that time to put them in their place and make them look like an idiot. It’s a win-win!

Maybe this situation doesn’t happen a lot to you, and maybe you don’t feel comfortable with either option. The thing is, we all have had to deal with someone who talks smack and shoots daggers at us when we’re out. Sometimes, it’s boredom, but the majority of the time, its jealousy. You have or are doing something that they wish they had but can’t get, or they aren’t willing to work for. This isn’t a reason to go tell everyone that (insert name) is SOOOO jealous of you. To be blunt, you’ll sound like a jackass, and I think its best we leave the jackass moments to our haters. Am I right?

Now, don’t mistake this as me going all ‘Ghandi’  and saying that you should let them get away with treating you like crap and talking behind your back. But, here are a few things to think about before you confront them:

Is it even worth your time?

Is this really something worth you taking the time to have a confrontation. If they’re spreading lies that are ridiculous, and no one believes them anyway, do you really need to make a big show of it? Sometimes by confronting them, you’ll shut them up. Sometimes, if you make a scene, you may be giving truth to their words in others eyes. When you take a minute or two to think about it, you’ll be able to realize for yourself whether or not you need to invest time in the dumb bitch. Secondly, to backtrack a little, it actually doesn’t really matter what rumors other people believe, because the people that truly know you will know they are just lies.

Don’t be too Impulsive

Try, try, try not to confront your haters when drunk. Seriously, I speak from experience, you may think you’re just going kill it. But, that’s generally not the case, like at all. If you go in babbling, slurring your words, you’re going to look like a damned fool. Not really helping your cause. Now you can’t really plan everything out to the last detail, but have a general idea of what you want to say.

Move On

It has taken me a while but I’ve finally gotten to the point where I can either say my piece and move past it, or just not even publicly acknowledge the bullshit at all. Don’t spend too much time dwelling on the immature, ridiculous lies that jealous bitches will spread. There’s a saying, ‘How someone treats you says a lot more about them then it does you.’ So let them show off their immaturity, and you hold your head high. I constantly deal with the rumors about how I lost weight, how many guys I’ve slept with, if I’m a lesbian because I’ve been single so long, etc. (And yes, I know the first and last one contradict each other, I never said these assholes were smart, or consistent.) But do you see why I don’t even bother? They can’t even get on the same page. Not worth it at all.

An Open Letter

To the Haters and Jealous Bitches,

I think its time you grow up. Do you realize how ridiculous and immature you make yourself look by constantly having to tear down someone else? This isn’t Mean Girls; you’re not a Plastic; you’re an immature person that can’t seem to leave junior high. So someone is doing good for themselves; you really have to try to cheapen that? As women, we should be supportive of each other, not fighting each other. There are enough obstacles that we have to overcome as a gender, why do we feel the need to create more for one another. It’s ridiculous, and IT NEEDS TO STOP!

So, a woman has had sex with more guys than you think is okay? Really, whoever came up with this arbitrary rule that there is an acceptable number of partners a person can have?! If she is single, and the guys that she sleeps with are single as well, who the hell cares! Unless she is sleeping with your boyfriend, then it really is none of your business. Calling her a whore is only making it okay for guys to get away with it. Have you noticed how a guy sleeps around and other guys either don’t care or will high five him. But a woman does the same thing and she is shamed. Well, I think we are to blame, as a gender. I’m not saying we need to give high fives or anything, but instead just shut the hell up about it.

You know a woman that had lost weight. How about we stop speculating that she must be bulimic, or starve herself when you see the girl out running every damn day. It’s pure jealousy. I don’t understand why we can’t praise someone for what they’ve accomplished, not only to their face but praise them behind their back as well. Don’t try to cheapen their accomplishments with jealousy fueled lies. If a girl is skinny, stop assuming that she must be anorexic, and throw out all these saying on how curvy women are better than skinny women. That’s the same as someone calling a curvy woman fat! There are enough body image issues in this world, how about we stop fueling the insecurities.

I could honestly go on and on about all of the different things that drive me nuts. Just before you decide to spew hate, think about how you’re words not only affect that person, but our gender as a whole. Its time we stop thinking about ourselves and start to think about the big picture.