He’s got the blind confidence of Jimmy Tatro and can get away with almost anything when it comes to women, because let’s face it, he’s hot and he knows it. His bulging biceps are a testament to way too much time spent in the gym, and he’s way more concerned about his diet than you. But don’t be fooled, this boy drinks more calories in beer and tequila per night then you can consume in seven days. He’s a cocky asshole, and he’s proud of it. Ladies, meet The Frat Star.

Why He’s So Cocky

Frat star is a coveted title that men aspire to achieve. It means that you’re swarmed by the hottest chicks at every party, pound drinks like a champ, and have earned the respect of your brothers. If nothing else, it’s almost a social leadership position in college. You’re the guy who both pledges and brothers alike want to be – and the guy all the girls want to be with. A double win.

This is a living trope that most of us ladies in college encounter on a regular basis. These boys are easy to recognize, and even easier to hate. The trouble is, not all guys exhibiting frat star behavior are actually on par with the devil himself, and it’s near impossible to tell who’s playing charades and who’s a brainless asshole.

What He’s Hiding

Some of these guys are the coolest, most self-aware people you will ever meet. Unfortunately, you will likely never see this side because they’re too busy trying to convey that they have about as much depth as a beer can. These boys have become masters of deception who hide behind a fratty mask composed of snap backs and shades – and have effectively hidden the real, down to earth person they are inside.

It take a lot of hard work and commitment to earn the title of “frat star”. It’s not a position that people vote on; it’s an opinion that a man must incept into his brothers’ heads. When a man reaches frat star status, in his mind, he’s made it in college. Once he has it, most men will do anything to defend that reputation – even if it’s acting like an insensitive asshole. Because what else does a frat boy really have?

Why His Rep Matters

When you think about it, these boys don’t have much at all. They have friendships, but most were forged in the heat of pledgeship and maintained through regular drinking exercises. Who wouldn’t stay friends after carrying a car up a mountain in the middle of the night while wasted and being screamed at by the Pledgecator? Some have had relationships, but it’s hard to keep your rep of bedding a different girl every night when you’ve sworn monogamy to one girl. Their frat star status is basically it; that’s all these boys have, except for, like maybe a dog or something.

What they don’t have is the person they were before college. Have you ever had an in depth conversation with a frat star about something other than football or the chick he’s trying to bang? How about his favorite poet, or how he came to find his own personal belief system? Probably not, because this doesn’t fit in to what these boys believe that they “have to be”. Individuality is not encouraged. Having a soul is not encouraged, for that matter. The frat star is nothing but a heartless cardboard cut out of a perceived ideal that all these boys are all trying to become, and cardboard cut outs don’t have souls.

We’re All The Same

As much as it sucks to admit, is the day in the life of a college girl all that different? Females are consistently trying to twist and bend into what their mothers, boyfriends, best friends, media, and society want us to be. These so-called “frat stars” are under the same kind of pressure to perform a certain persona. The difference is that girls generally have a stronger emotional support system. Society says girls are psychotic, emotional balls of tears and stress – and that stereotype makes it much easier for girls to talk about feelings. When you’re expressing how you feel, people get to know a realer version of you. When guys are taught to bury their feelings under used condoms, they can’t help but take on a false persona.

Don’t Demonize The Frat Star

We are all wearing masks, but the difference is that girls know the other faces behind those masks (in part because we tend to get drunk and cry off all of our makeup on a weekly basis). For obvious reasons, boys tend not to do that.

Those in the pursuit of the title “frat star” drown out their personalities in booze and pussy, and bind themselves to hyper masculine stereotypes that leave no room for self-expression. This leads to emotionally isolated, lonely boys who don’t know how to be anything but douche bag assholes to everyone around them, because they’re terrified no one will accept them for their slightly less douchey and less “manly” real selves.

He may act like the spawn of Satan at times, and it’s really annoying that the word “sober” isn’t in his vocabulary, but that’s only because really, deep down, he’s unhappy, lost, trying to live up to a hyper masculine-stereotype, and he knows it.